Hi everyone,
after some months of lurking it's finally time to enter the community. I'm in my early thirties and grew up to become a very cynical guy who lives his life day to day without much hope for better things. Don't get me wrong, I'm not worse off or anything, I just meandered around without much purpose in life and caught myself thinking: "So, this is it? This is how the rest of your life is going to be, eh? Rather dull but I guess it could be worse" more and more often.
Then I ran into an old friend by chance who I lost contact with a decade ago. He had become an experienced psychonaut in the meantime and invited me to spend New Year's Eve with him in a cabin in the woods. This is where I took acid for the first time, mainly out of boredom and curiosity. It was a low dose (about 100ug) because I wanted to take things slowly first. I really enjoyed my trip with him, the slight visual distortions and the thoughts that sprang
into my mind from nowhere. After that night, I decided to wait a month and then went on to experiment with higher doses. It was all good fun but I never had any of the epiphanies many people speak about. I was mainly in it to see crazy things and to escape my boring reality.
It was with said friend, about half a year later, when I decided to try 600ug while he took half of my dose. Up until then I had worked my way up to 400 uq in increments and have had very nice visuals and generally a good time, but no great insights followed. 30 minutes after taking the "heroic dose" (reddit) I immediately noticed that things were different this time. We were walking through the city when my world started to *really* change. I started getting visuals that encompassed my whole field of view. Trees, buildings and bridges began to blossom with fractal flowers. Lantern posts started to fold in on themselves and fractals and eyes started to appear on my friend's face. We barely made it to my flat, where I dragged myself to the couch. I could not see anything but fantastic geometry in all shapes, colors and sizes now. This is when my sense of self started to dissolve. Of course I had read about ego death before and how many people were afraid to let go because they felt like really dying. This never concerned me because I was so far beyond of understanding the concept of dying and death that I was not afraid at all. I let go and simply... existed. "I" was gone, but at the same time, I felt so connected to everything around me. It was as if I had melted away and became one with the universe. While my cognitive self was gone, I could feel a deep sense of understanding, love and connectedness. For a cynical guy like me who does not believe in much, standing butt-naked (without ego) in front of the universe feeling nothing but joy, togetherness and unconditional love was a very profound and semi-religious experience. Many more things happened along the way on this trip, but this is supposed to be my introduction and I feel I've been rambling on for too long anyway, so I'll save that for another day.
After I came back to my senses, it was hard to go back to my old self-loathing, bitter me. This trip has changed my life for the better. I can now finally understand a world of emotions that were off limits to me before.
I came here to see what DMT was all about and maybe in hope for a similar, mind-enhancing trip. In the meantime, I have tried to smoke freebase a few times using a GVG, but as a die-hard non-smoker, it is really, really tough to get everything (temperature, distance of flame etc.) right so I can actually keep the smoke in and not start coughing immediately. So far, I've had some OEV, but have not made it to hyperspace yet. I'm very curious, but don't want to force it at the same time. I've got time and when it happens, it happens.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story so far. I hope to make more great experiences and have more insights on my journey as a psychonaut and would love to hang out here with like-minded people.
Peace out.