Love it or hate it, the F word is probably the most used and versatile word we have in the so-called, some say controversial, English language.
In fact, you know it simply because of how I refer to it, over actually saying it. Think about it, the F word fits any occasion. You can tell someone to f**k off and those two words speak volumes. Need to emphasize your point with a bit of a flourish? No problem, that mutha f**kin' point stands out better than a proud erection, like the Statue of mutha f**kin' Liberty.
I can say buck, duck, chuck, luck, vuck (I think that's Armenian, I don't know, maybe I made it up) and I can even say suck, albeit a tasteful suck, and it's ok. Add an F to those uck sounding words and you're f**ked. Nowadays, thanks to our modern-day state-of-the-art technology, we censor our beloved F word with a BEEP! It's gotten to the point we have associated the BEEP as saying the F word. If that's the case, it begs a question and I don't always enjoy begging. The question is this. Are you ready to hear the question? OK, to put a long question even longer, when is the BEEP going to be BEEPED out? If the BEEP is saying the F word everyone tries to avoid, yet we all (yes, even you) say and hear it every f**king day, what's the point of BEEPING it in the first place?
Krishna on a popsicle stick, I've been saying the F word since I was 5, back in the early 1700s. Although, back then, you didn't say, "F**k you", like the wacky kids say today. Instead, we said, "F**k unto thee!" Ah! Those were the days. Great job, censors! You really had us kids fooled. Kids today are no different, they all know the word as we did in the early part of the 18th century. The very fact it's infamous makes it all the more appealing to kids, and we all know how stupid and easily influenced kids are.
Ultimately, as a true logophile, I find censoring of any kind a crime against humanity. It's like misinformation or disinformation, which is also a crime against humanity. These things stagnate our intellectual evolution. I can think of nothing more offensive than censorship itself. Yet, the beloved, the legendary, the infamous and famous, the word of words, the F word, is the thing we're supposed to find offensive. Give me a f**king break, for f**k's sake!
It's nice to imagine the F word in our classical literature. Shame Shakespeare didn't use it. I love Shakespeare more than any scaffolder or builder or coal miner, I truly do. Allow me to act out a scene for you.
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your mutha f**king ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise the f**ker. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their f**king bones; So let it be with Caesar."
End, scene. /take a bow to rapturous applause. /graciously accept flowers with a look of humble surprise and gratitude.
See? It's still sublime. Oh, what a world we live in.
Or, what about our classic films?
"I'll get you, my pretty... and your little f**king dog, too!"
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a f**k."
"It rubs the f**king lotion on the skin."
Anyway, I hope you learned something from all this babbling I've done. If you did, well done! I certainly didn't try to teach you anything.
Now. F**k off!
This comment has been brought to you by the letter F.
No F words were used in the making of this comment, rendering it Disney fresh.
Good morrow unto thee.
Peace.
DD.
“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.” -R.I.P. Terry Pratchett
GARGA BLARG BLARG!
Dharma Mantra Tantra