Hey guys, new member long time lurker here. I'm excited to start discussing and contributing esoteric information on entheogens. I am primarily interested in harmala alkaloids, and they are ultimately the reason why I created my account. A little history about me-

I used psychedelics a lot in my younger days, a bit too much I would say. I very much enjoyed LSD, DMT, Ketamine, MDMA, and sometimes mushrooms. Eventually my relationship with psychedelics drifted apart/became soured. This was due to irresponsible use way too frequently in way too high of doses with bad set/setting and without integration. Was also due to getting research chemical product represented as LSD (and not testing it) by some scummy people. Took a break from usage for 6 whole years, and only in the last year have I returned to psychedelics, this time with a much different attitude and approach. Originally I was primarily interested in the consciousness exploration and mystery of it, but nowadays I am primarily interested in the medicinal effects of psychedelics/entheogens. I don't think one reason for using them is absolutely better than the other, but I do think it's beneficial to be very clear about your intentions and be totally sure what you're doing and why.

I was definitely quite shaky about my reasons for psychedelic use initially. I was mostly just awestruck all the time, captivated by the mystery and serenity of it all. I ended up feeling like the reasons I was doing them were quite vague and I think I was doing them just to do them a lot of times. I think there can be nothing wrong with that, and is even fine to do them purely for fun, but I ended up kind of thinking they were the panacea to cure to all my problems without me having to put in much work at all. The feeling of looking back after months/years of use and realizing that somewhere along the line I had totally lost my way hit me pretty hard. I was using them irresponsibly often in an effort to cure my problems magically, but just ended up digging myself into a deeper and deeper hole. I had an existential crisis. I ended up totally reshaping my life and turning to wherever else I could to put in the work and improve myself. I made huge strides and improved far beyond where I started in a lot of areas, but after years of work, I have hit a wall. That wall is former emotional and mental scars that still hold me back. I have tried to pass it with meditation and made some progress, but eventually after seeing some science out there on healing trauma, depression, and anxiety with psychedelics, I decided it was worth it to carefully approach them again.

When I approached psychedelics this time, (maybe more aptly called entheogens in this context) my attitude was much more respecting of their power, respecting of the general rules like set/setting and harm reduction. I started with low doses of mushrooms (as I have read more science on them being good for healing than other psychedelics) and had multiple good experiences. Took me a while to find my sweet spot which I felt was most beneficial, but more recently have had some deep healing experiences that convinced me that if I used these properly and responsibly with good work on my end too, they were my ticket to liberation from my pain.

Emboldened by my recent positive experiences, I recently had some caapi extract I had never used + DMT and I decided to try it after a friend told me harmalas greatly enhance the psychedelic experience in more ways than just potency. I was surprised to hear this as I had always thought they were simply an oral DMT activator/potentiator. I gave it a try in the form of changa first and it blew me away. To me it felt like a totally different drug than any other psychedelic I had done. Extremely clear headed, I could very clearly remember it all, so much of the usual negativity that comes up in trips for me was gone or reduced, very stable visions of a totally different quality than any other psychedelic. All other psychedelics I feel a more correct term is 'visuals' but this felt like full on 'visions' of very clear content. Much more of a human quality to it without much of the otherworldly alien feel of all other psychedelics. I was shocked to find this, and appalled that some people call Ayahuasca simply 'oral DMT.' The difference in effect is so obvious, how could someone miss this? That is how I felt. I tried it again this time with a higher dosage of oral caapi plus pure DMT smoked and had an even better experience. Extremely clear visions, headspace, very grounded, very human. The afterglow is probably the best I have ever felt. I feel amazingly happy with reduced anxiety even more than a week after doing it.

So that is where I am at now. Have had a great time with harmalas so far and intend to continue slowly experimenting with them. I am interested in experimenting with different methods of preparation which are still not fully understood, different sources (rue, caapi), and also their powerful entheogenic effects on their own. I have very much enjoyed reading the esoteric and knowledgeable posts on harmalas from the likes of endlessness, jamie, 69ron, and others. I will be working with rue next and hopefully will be able to come back with some good knowledge I can contribute to the board.

Thanks for reading,
moo

I too abused lsd and other psyches at a younger age. It's not really a cultural shamanic teaching system established in most developed countries to put a point on the spirit of what these compounds can do as medical aids , at least not in those days .

Now things are different and we have more knowledge from online research on the use of plants medicines as to helping disease and mental problems . Harmals are medicine . Powerful maois which are used as antidepressants in older days and sometimes these days for hard headed cases . Harmals aided me In my healing from an alcoholic to a path to be a scientist now and now also a beginning step to be a medical dr some day later , or at least that is the deal I've settled on for it helping me the way it has . .

Caapi and harmals are amazing aids for positive transformation and healing if used for good medicines . There seems to be a dark side to them if desired but I've learned to identify it and not address its use as it conflicts with my idealolgies for healing and altruistic uses .

But it's powerful . I encourage you to pursue it more and be open to the changes that will be coming to you through its use . The first time i used a heavy caapi mix a voice projected during the effects and it said that I should "revel in what I was about to partake in" as clear as any voice I've ever heard .

They are powerful compounds . No matter what your stance on them as far as what they produce the results are life changing . So as it said to me may you revel in what you are about to partake in ! See you around moo

That's awesome that it's helped you make positive changes! I do wish people would start recognizing the potential of psychedelics for healing. There really isn't anything else like them. In best case scenarios, a single dose and 4-6 hour experience can leave lasting positive mental/emotional effects and even cure a variety of mental health issues. No redosing, no maintenance/dependence, there are a tons of reports of one and done seemingly miraculous healing. Not to say they are without risk but if used properly they can have a huge net benefit.


I'm curious about the dark side you mention. I believe in that as well, and have always raised an eyebrow when people paint Ayahuasca in a non-dual, perfect light where it can do no wrong and is a panacea. Amazing powerful medicine of course, but like anything can be overdone or used for both bad and good. Stories of shamans doing "dark magic" using the brew for power are one example. Would love to hear you expand more on this point.


Kind of tying in to my last point, what is your view on the plant spirit often said to lie within the ayahuasca vine? I'm no atheist, but I'm not quite convinced of plant sentience/communication upon ingestion. On mushrooms I have often sensed an alien 'presence' but I still have remained unconvinced of real spirit communication. Also, what about rue? Most people say caapi is far more healing than rue though I have heard glowing reviews of both. One of the first things I'm interested in experimenting with is the differences between caapi and rue. I'm hoping I can play around with different preparations of rue and find a way to brew it that leads to a more desirable effect with less of the usually mentioned body load/toxicity. Rue is a lot cheaper and more abundant so I'd like to use that, but I will make no compromises if caapi really outshines it that much.

Thanks for the warm welcome Ferrum and glad to hear your experience!