So I was going through some bad stuff for about 8 years. when it all culminated a month ago.
I was in my room and i heard a voice for the first time in my life. it showed me a repeating pattern in life and then gave me 3 options

Kill my self
Accept my new mission in life
Or lose my mind

This shit was 100% impossible! my world was tearing its self in half, vision swirling, and i looked at all the things it had told me, and said there was to much proof. I accepted my new mission in life and than it was like a blinding white light, like being struck by lighting and a disgusting amount of information was "downloaded" into my head. like thousands of books, information IDK wtf

This translates across dozens of cultures, religions. a voice/light along with some horrific shit, followed by the gift of wisdom. How do I start my path?

What do i do?



My mission is to heal people, through a pattern hidden in books.... subliminal healing it would appear. shaman who casts a really big net.

The way I see this sort of thing, at least the way I've been working out mystical phenomena for myself, is that once you receive a big internal message you have made a lot of headway in the nightosphere so to speak. The land of dreams, which is a big place.

The trouble comes in that most people in the world won't care at all to cooperate with you, nor will the mountains and sky bend to your will.

One needs a balance of practicality and dream realities (which are very valid, but curiously secret to one's self, as I've seen). It sounds to me like your dreams have opened to you, perhaps you should spend some time thinking about how that fits in with the world at large.

We are neither only of the ordinary world nor only of the dreamworld, but somewhere in between. Learn to balance the two and then you can get some real power. But it takes a lot of cooperation, haggling- arguing even perhaps- with forces human and otherwise.

Take care of yourself. Psychedelics are a means and a tool, but using without judiciousness can bring extreme powerlessness, in my experience... As I understand shamanism is related to the acquiring of power. Get sleep, eat food, pay attention... when you can make a decision with a calm mind then that's a good sign. Chances are you have time to mull over things. Early conclusions can be wrong.

If you keep being bugged by entities throughout the day against your will (this has not happened to me), you may have more of a problem than a solution.

Good luck, friend.

Good advice.

Shaman, heal thyself!

Don't worry what to do... Things will be done for you no matter you like it or not.. drop the illusion of control(if you can't see that your not a real Shaman) and enjoy the ride...

i want the ride over.. it showed me at the end i get the girl, a cabin in the woods, and a few dogs.

thats all i want

If you really are on this path eventually that I that wants including the wanting will perish.. Everything else is just a test and will prevent your being from full bloom into God's full power.

You have to give yourself fully to this.. Throw away everything your ego holds, jump into the ocean of your greatest fears, DIE over and over again, and try to smile during..

I will paste a text from some book here I cant remember which but anyway..

A shaman is created in any two of the following three ways: they are born to it, they are trained in it as a tradition, or they are called to it at some point in their lives.

When people ask me seriously how they can become a shaman, I always respond with a simple question: "Why would you want to?" Let me outline what is going to happen to you, if you ignite this spark. You will have no friends; they will shun you because you scare them now; they will tell you that you're insane. You will experience love, at its core - love so intense and so selfless; touching upon it makes you want to die. But, you will never have anyone in your life again to share it with. Your family will become strangers to you. Everything you own will be taken away. You will live, in some sense, in constant pain, alone; you will truly become the wounded healer. People will treat you like a dime-store psychic. Now, your spark is becoming a tiny flame and the bad stuff starts. Visions you can't control; illnesses that are serious yet seem to have no cause or cure. You will become depressed, a depression so deep and dark, you feel as though you are eating your own soul.
Now your tiny flame is growing into a small fire and the real trouble starts -- spatial lapses, missing time, time distortions and things that go bump in the night. Your awareness begins to grow, but what is in that awareness provides no comfort. New creatures will enter your world, not all of them are nice. In fact, some of them will try to kill you, literally. You will feel naked against the full force of ancient energies. Something is driving you at this point, you no longer feel in control of anything. Fear will seize you. This isn't normal fear, but the kind of fear that steals your breath and stops your heart. People will become transparent wraiths to you. When you see them, it will be in their totality. You will feel their pain, anger and misery. Not in terms of a casual observer - you will live it, in that instant. This is unimaginably horrible. But now you know, somewhere inside, a fire is raging.
Somehow, through all the pain, sweat, blood, misery and tears, you survive (most do not) to see beyond yourself and the world. You're standing toe to toe with death - your own - and you suddenly slap it in the face and laugh . What appears next in your vision is one golden moment, one instant in a sea of time. You will risk everything for that one chance to stare into the maw of eternity, to see, to know, because you are burning now with the fire from within. You will leap into that chasm, not wanting to, but because you can do no less. Now you are just a streak across that vastness, one small insignificant part of an immense whole. In the end all you can say with that final desperate act is: "We mattered, we were here". Perhaps you'll come back. Perhaps you won't. But now you can carry the name . . . shaman.

You sound as in an state of confusion, having received/downloaded all that alleged wisdom but clueless nonetheless what to do. As long as you come in a forum asking what to do, radically stop thinking of healing others, it's not going to work out well as long as you're mixed up with this and that's and whatnots. There's a common natural tendency to heal others but hold your horses for a while until you have yourself levelled out?

Stand down, settle, relax, observe, humble, let time do it's thing, or seek medical advice if things get out of hand.

My 2 cents.

What do you do?

That question can only be answered by you.

The best advice I can give you is to follow your gut feelings. Our gut is pure and instinctive. At least, mine is. So, what does YOUR gut tell YOU to do?

I think you already know the answer, judging by what you say.

When I achieved my awakening, a voice appeared to me. It was a female voice I eventually named, Mother, especially since she called me her child. She answered all my questions with a deep wisdom, unlike anything I've known before. Like yourself, it was as if a vast amount of knowledge was downloaded into my head, especially once she taught me the nuances of telepathy.

One thing she stressed over and over was quite remarkable. She told me she didn't tell me anything I didn't know already. Instead, she helped me see the things I couldn't see before. She bestowed awareness of the knowledge contained in us all. She was right.

She also taught me that we have many essences, but only one true flavor. Our flavor is the thing that defines us. In other words, either you are on the side of light or the side of dark. Ultimately, that's what it all boils down to. Are you good or evil?

Mother stayed with me for a few weeks, leaving her essence behind. This means she's always with me. If I ever need her full flavor, she returns and advises me appropriately. When she was first with me, I was so grateful for what she had done for me. I told her so and wanted so much to repay her Karma. "My child, knowing I have helped you during your awakening is as precious a gift for me as the gift you say I've bestowed upon you." It's the most beautiful thing I've ever known. I cried for over an hour at its beauty when she first spoke those words to me.

Mother taught me that all our answers are within. Follow your heart. Trust in your soul. Your path will become clear. Simply have faith in this and the fog will lift from your path, with a clear sign telling you where to go.

Peace.
DD.

This here☝️
If you research or listen to anything about spiritual healing, you can’t heal others until you heal yourself. You must be at complete peace with everything you’ve done in your life, good and bad. You must love yourself. You can’t have your own loose ends and expect to help others. I would say it’s impossible. And as said above, healing others is not about the “thank yous”and the “you saved me”. It’s a selfless act, or else it’s not real. There can be no ego involved. So think deep, is that really you? Can you give yourself to humanity? It definitely cant be about the girl and the cabin, as that is self driven. Know you may end up alone in a mud shack (metaphorically speaking).

radically stop thinking of healing others, it's not going to work out well as long as you're mixed up with this and that's and whatnots. There's a common natural tendency to heal others but hold your horses for a while until you have yourself levelled out?

your not wrong. first week or 2 i was running around looking like a mad man. i really do meed to slow down and regroup.. i sorta have a destination in mind, just not how to get to it

Time is for free and an incredible equalizer, also the humus where intuition fruits in. I truly believe in this miracle medicine called time.
We've come to build a guild feeling around taking-ones-time because it looks like procrastination, stalling and doing nothing, it can be that too though.
Hope things dawn on you in due time, crystallizing from a potential.

That is at least more manageable in a cabin than a dog and a few girls...

thanks for the response, i've been following my gut running around town looking like a total dumbass... i mean that is a lesson of things not to do i suppose.

Change is the answer. afraid to change.

Am i good or evil? truth is i am a hurt/angry mother fucker who wants the world to slit their wrists, and jump off a bridge. whats the phase wounded healer? I was cripple, and drove to near suicide from the fact that the world would not stop for 5 seconds to listen to me.. i thought i had gone mad, so much to say. I hate the world for what its done to me. i had 98% of the world. but the other percent the broken ones, i care for. simply out of spite for the herd. thats the truth.

great post

I grew up as a undiagnosed autistic.
No one for 28 years could understand me verbally. My own brother told me a few weeks ago after we talked longer than 5 minutes for the first time ever, that he thought i was just a asshole who did not want to talk. (i could not) After being struck by the lighting/light I can now talk to people, and now i have vast amounts of info to use.

I was already pushed to the point of questioning my sanity when no one could listen, or even try.

One of the gifts, i was given is i now see "patterns" throughout life, mainly in books.
The one thing in that story I do not like is the part of being alone for the rest of your life. beacuse i was already alone for 28 years...the pattern sorta says I find the girl.. I already ran into a girl in mortal danger, screaming about how afraid she was and she could see the patterns... she also see's the patterns, super rare! one in a hundred thousand! maybe rarer, also struck by lighting.

Ive had a life of misery, it almost feels like this is the turn around point, i now have a path, i see the jewel far down the line.

Being hurt/angry does not indicate you're evil, it indicates you're in pain. That said, when we're in pain, it's easy to go dark. You need to avoid that path. Obviously. When all one sees is darkness, then darkness follows. Yes, 98% of the planet are assholes. However, you don't need them to heal yourself. One person can change your world. You are that person. Ignore the 98% because they don't define you, they merely influenced you. Does that make sense?

It's funny, I have always said that the trouble with the world is the fact there are too many assholes. Eliminate them and the world would be a paradise. The problem is, 98% of the planet are assholes. So, it's quite a monumental task to achieve paradise. lol

Stay safe and smile. Count your blessings. I can guarantee you have something to be thankful for, no matter how dark the world appears. Turn darkness into an illusion, over making it a reality. I wish you nothing but the best.

Peace.
DD.

This might sound harsh but to be honest you really need professional mental help.

What you describe is far from "normal" behavior and your self-assignment to want to be a "shaman" is the last thing we need: you, as a mentally unstable person, going around thinking that you can "heal" people.

Please seek professional help.


Kind regards,

The Traveler