Five years ago I never would have imagined that I would ever take any mind-altering drug (other than caffeine and alcohol.) Three years ago, after reading about the research on therapeutic uses of psychedelics, I thought I might consider that route someday for some problems I've long struggled with -- when they became legal or if I could get into a clinical trial. About two years ago I read Michael Pollan's book, and that convinced me that I should explore the therapeutic use of psychedelics sooner rather than later.

So a year and a half ago I had my first psychedelic experience with magic mushrooms. Since then I've continued to use magic mushrooms, tried LSD a few times, attended an ayahuasca retreat in Latin America, done legal ketamine therapy, and started working with an underground MDMA therapist. I have combined this with a meditation practice. I haven't found any miracle cure for my problems, but I am finding that finally, after years of trying and failing and getting absolutely nowhere, I am now seeing visible progress.

I'm now in the process of giving (vaped) DMT a go, to see what all the fuss is about, since I understand it is a very different experience from ayahuasca. I bought a Glass Vapor Genie and torch lighter and obtained some DMT powder, and have been trying to learn proper vaping technique with small doses before trying for a breakthrough dose. I've given it four tries so far, with doses of 15 to 25mg, but I don't think I have it right yet.

Here's what I've done so far, if anyone has any advice to offer:

1. Melted 15 mg onto a porous ceramic disk before putting it on top of the screen, replacing the filter, and vaping. Saw only some light vapor in the chamber. After that took 5 deep draws, holding it in for 15 seconds each time. Felt odd, but no visuals.

2. Melted 20 mg onto the disk. Again, only light vapor in the chamber. Four deep draws this time. Briefly saw some violet lines when I closed my eyes.

3. Put some Blue Lotus on top of the screen, put 23 mg on top of that. Only light vapor in the chamber. Four deep draws. The room turned yellowish, the carpet began doing strange things, and I saw some tubular geometric patterns when I closed my eyes.

4. Put two extra screens and a ceramic disk on top. Put 25 mg on top of that. Pointed the torch lighter slightly downward. It took a long time for the powder to melt and begin to vaporize, and my lighter got uncomfortably hot. Suddenly there was a lot of vapor filling the chamber -- the first time I'd seen the thick white vapor I keep on reading about. I sucked that in and immediately coughed it all out. I tried for some additional draws after that, but they had much less vapor. Again the room turned yellowish and I saw some geometric patterns when I closed my eyes. Afterwards my throat hurt -- I think maybe the vapor was too hot.