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I had the most terrifying experience of my life Options
 
Loungefly
#1 Posted : 3/9/2020 10:25:34 PM

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So it has been almost a full day and Im still trying to process everything....but last night I drank about 3.5g of syrian rue tea, took a shower and made my place ready for this trip. I felt my head was in a good place, I very relaxed and open to this experience I was about to have. I packed the bowl of my bong with changa and about 30g of DMT, played some icaros and made myself comfortable on the couch.

Preflight nerves kicked in so I only took 1 lung full. It was a pleasant experience, but not where I wanted to go. After feeling more conifdent, I put more DMT and changa in there to completely fill the bowl again. I was feeling amazing, confident and ready to accept what was coming.

One big hit and the buzzing started, second big hit and that pain of regret kicked in because I knew there was no getting off this ride.

I dont remember what happened next, blackout? Donno, but I felt there was a gap in time where I recall NOTHING. Then it hit me, like a fucking truck. Panic, fear, everything set in as I saw nothing in my apartment except a kaleidoscope of colors (and I know my eyes were open)...at the center of my field of vision was this pulsating, rapidly vibrating entity. I got the impression it was like "Is this what you really wanted to see????" I jumped off the couch but collapsed on the floor, I ripped my necklace off, I thought I had intentionally snapped my glass bong in half. Nothing existed, only it and me. Nothing made sense, everything was insane....I felt like my mind had had snapped. Then the first entity was gone and was replaced with a clown (joker??) that was made up of spheres. With him, I felt that he was amused that I was in this fucked up state. I thought I had trashed my place, like destroying things. This trip just wouldnt end. I had enough of a mind at that point to think if I just threw up, it may hep me come down so I crawled on my hands and knees to the bathroom.

Im in the bathroom but couldnt purge. That clown was still with me, again, everything was insane. I got the impression that if I dont become a better person that this is the kind of hell that I would exist in forever. By that time I finally realized that I was not dead. Actually at that point the visuals turned from bright colors to something more dull and everything was organic. Like as I had one arm over the toilet bowl, it was all tentacles, moving....just organic. Would have been a beautiful trip if I hadnt been shown what hell can be like.

The messages I received as Im sitting on the bathrom floor, still out of my mind tripping was to clean up my act, be a better person, etc. I kept saying over and over again "Ok I get it, I get it!" Just anything to make it stop. It took about an hr to fully come down, but I had to turn on all the lights, stop the icaros and play something more up beat. Hot tea I think helped too. But I did spend quite a bit of time pacing just to ask it to stop.

Every other time I had smoked, I was either in tunnels or if I go deep, its always in this round room, like Im in a sphere, a bubble. Theres usually something in there, like the time before it was this octopus creature with hieroglyphs all down its arms. Probably the most beautiful thing Ive seen. It feels weird putting this out there, but the first thing I saw could have very well been god. It seemed like it was the end all be all of everything. Like there was nothing more powerful than it. Now for that clown, fuck him. He was the one showing me what a living hell could be and he seemed to almost enjoy it.

Sorry for the typos, Im still trying to digest all of this and I apologize for making this so long, but its just a glimpse of what I saw, experienced and felt. Take me back to those round rooms any day over what I went through.
 

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Tony6Strings
#2 Posted : 3/10/2020 12:42:06 AM

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Thanks for sharing your experience! Sounds like a wild ride!! I've had a few myself. You thinking you had snapped your bong in half reminds me of one of my craziest trips ever during which my gvg appeared to snap in two impossibly non-euclidean pieces.
olympus mon wrote:
You need to hit it with intention to get where you want to be!

"Good and evil lay side by side as electric love penetrates the sky..." -Hendrix

"We have arrived at truth, and now we find truth is a mystery- a play of joy, creation, and energy. This is source. This is the mystic touchstone that heals and renews. This is the beginning again. This is entheogenic." -Nicholas Sand
 
#3 Posted : 3/10/2020 1:32:09 AM
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Dang, 3.5g rue and 35mg dmt vaped. You definitely have some big cajones there friend. Very happy

Combos like that make me shudder, only because I've been there. Hats off to you though haha.

A little bit of dmt can go a long long way when inhibited with a reasonable to solid dose of rue/caapi ime. Be careful with that combo.

<3


Loungefly wrote:
Nothing existed, only it and me.

.











 
Jees
#4 Posted : 3/10/2020 9:24:22 AM

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Another one of us ran into the electric fence, from a distant I feel for you Loungefly Love

I was also thinking in terms of too much dose, the second loading wasn't specified.

The most difficult experiences for me are those when I enter and then feeling to have made a big mistake, to bother what shouldn't be bothered, like entering the most wrong bar imaginable and there's no door in sight to escape and then getting rubbed. What was I thinking? kind of realisation.
I've had oral way too much sessions (aya and pharma) feeling oops took a little too much where I got rubbed too but I never felt at a wrong place, it never felt as I-should-not-be-here. Rectal ROA sessions have always welcomed me big time, feeling much at home immediately and over the whole course.
I find it strange that these big-mistake feelings have strictly occurred in vaped sessions. Maybe the steepness induces that? Luckily it's not always like that but I can't determine in advance what will it be? Feeling pretty good and confident in advance is not a measure for it, it's like a draw. This made me cautious with vaped doses.
 
Matoskah
#5 Posted : 3/11/2020 1:55:56 PM

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To me, I believe that I always get what I need (not what I want) whether it's terrifying, humorous or lovely.

Did you get what you needed? It sounds like you did.

I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you about
Quote:
Ok I get it, I get it
Do you have insight into what this was and maybe still is? No pressure to share any of it of course. I'm mostly curious as to knowing if you now know where that place came from.

A friendly advice: see if you have a good partner that can sit you or place yourself in a safer location to avoid harming yourself, even if by mistake. A big bed is my own preference.

Safe travels friend.
 
SunPatterns
#6 Posted : 3/11/2020 2:08:06 PM

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Reminds me a little of my last experience.

I was doing hape` for a few hours before, and then drank some caapi vine tea. About an hour or so later, I loaded some FB into a chalet and meditated for a bit while listening to ambient music.

I was able to take only a single hit before I blasted off instantly. Ive never blasted off so fast from one hit before lol. My entire body and mind was vibrating harder than ever before. I could hear and feel this frequency of vibration too, much different than previous experiences.

Suddenly I was in a huge space void, and I was essentially a being surrounded by rings of material like a planet. I was coming together in all these very colorful pieces of stuff. Each piece was made from every basic material in the universe. Eventually it all came together and I was just like a giant planet, slowly spinning in a void.

After a few moments of this fear hit me, and I opened my eyes to set my pipe down and grab my chest and feel my pulse. I couldnt feel it unfortunately, and went right back into close eye visuals lol. At this point I was just a hazy colorful blob on a plane of colorful lines. Lots of cottoncandy like blues and pinks. I still had the fear of my heart exploding because I could feel it beating a million miles a second. It was frightening.

Eventually I came down a bit and just smiled and knew everything was ok. I sat and soaked in the comfort for a moment before getting back up.

The addition of a strong dose of MAOIs really enhances everything, sometimes badly, sometimes really really amazing. I love the combination but times like this its REALLY frightening. I hope you are able to reflect on it more in the future. Time to reflect is really important imo. much love <3
 
 
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