Here's the story about my first day with DMT.

The first day I was able to finally experiment with DMT was almost three weeks ago, after using Cyb's Salt Tek to extract about 1.5g of some beautiful yellow full-spec out of 100g of MHRB, over the course of a few days.  To vaporize, I used an AVS Molecule 22 with the AVS Oct-Coils and the bubbler to accompany it. The mod was a VooPoo Drag 2 (TCR - 20W, SS, 345F) but that's not important to the real story.  First hit was very low, 5-10mg.  Lights on, mild visuals, felt a bit of body high.  Second hit was about 20mg, lights on, great body high and getting some great visuals, even with my eyes open (I remember seeing a smiling Cheshire Cat) - but wow, I'm really getting somewhere with this new-to-me compound and I'm definitely dialing in the M22.  Third hit I was going for gold, breakthrough time...  

It was well past dark outside and I wanted the experience to include no artificial light. All lights were shut off in the house to prepare. A bit of light still trickled in the window from the moon, perfect. I laid down on my couch with about 55mg in the bucket, directly on the coils. I remember getting comfortable on the couch and giving the mod a couple quick taps to do the oft-recommended pre-melt, waiting a moment, and then taking several deep breaths with my eyes closed - I had a feeling I was about to embark on an amazing journey, so the butterflies were humming in my stomach.  I remember everything feeling cozy, despite the jitters, right at this moment in time.

My thumb pressed the fire button, as if something else was controlling it. It didn't feel like a conscious decision.  Wow. It was a huge hit and the taste was much stronger than the first two. The glass appeared to be clear of vapor, so to keep its balance, I set it down on a large wooden tray on the sectional portion of my couch. I was still holding in all the vapor.

As I held in the hit, I pushed the mod/bubbler away from me down the couch so I didn't bump with my who-knows-what's-about-to-happen logic.  Curious, is the sensation, when you witness your arm stretch to eight feet long and begin to fracture into geometric shapes as you slide a tray away from you.  What was next, curious doesn't even begin to describe.  As I turned to lay on my back and regain comfort, with a soft cover on and a comfy pillow behind me, I remember my surroundings very quickly crystallized, despite the dim light. The TV attached to the wall and my ceiling fan were most prominent with the crystal effect than any others at this point until right around here in my experience.  Within a few moments, after everything had completely crystallized, it hit me.  KABOOM!  Rocket ship to hyperspace!  A wall of kaleidoscopic bright colors hit me like a out of control train.

I am sincerely sorry to report that I absolutely blacked out at this point, immediately after the kaleidoscopic train.  Recalling what was next is a bit tricky - I remember sensing death and laying in a hospital bed of some sort while genderless and faceless white beings stood above me.  These beings weren't necessarily doctors but I can recount the fact that they were benevolent healers and trying to help me.  From here it turned a little bad as I saw my beautiful wife standing with the beings, looking down on me, and sobbing for me. With no words spoken from any of us, I knew she was sobbing because she wanted me to heal.  I remember being conscious but unable to communicate whatsoever.  I desperately tried to speak my wife but it was a fruitless effort.  This is when I started weeping due to my complete inability to speak.  I do not recall how long this lasted but initially I hated it. This went on for maybe 3-5 mins while I believe I was in and out of consciousness.  After the entities disappeared and reality began to set in, my weeping subsided, I calmed down, and realized the message I was given.  My wife cares for me more than I may realize and my troubles affect her more than I may realize, as well. She desires and needs me to heal, and I was able to see how much it affects her. My goal for myself, my wife, and my loved ones is to heal with their help. Their crying can stop but there is only so much they can do. I can't indefinitely use them as a crutch. The rest is up to me.

My health issues are clinically diagnosed C-PTSD and stemming from that, bipolar disorder.  FYI, I am not currently, or even recently, on any meds that have negative interactions with DMT.

FWIW, I have zero plans to give up psychedelics. I am not interested in any other black market substances, aside from cannabis. Cannabis and I are experiencing a bit of a breakup. Think of it as a, "It's not you, it's me" kind of thing. I'd rather explore the relationship of mental health and psychedelics, good or bad, than to eliminate them from my life.

Was doing DMT a poor decision?
Well, it went against most advice but the important message given to me was clear, so I don't have a good answer.  
Will other people with similar conditions have a different experience? 
Yes, of course, or at least I imagine so. And others will likely have similar experiences.
In hindsight, do I regret it?
Absolutely not. Will I do it it again?  Yes, whenever I am ready, whenever that is.  I will admit that I am a bit anxious to have a similar experience, but as the wiki here says, I am afraid but willing to face my fears.
My last thoughts on attempting again.
Well, I have plenty of MHRB, enough for personal use for about as long as I would need. And YES, I do plan on revisiting this compound in the future with certain conditions:
1. I have reduced my mental health symptoms with a mix of therapy, meds, exercise, good habits, and to give more love to those that matter most to me. These diagnoses and meds have only happened in the last year and we are finally dialing it all in and some big improvements are happening.
2. Dosage. 55mg. Wow, that was a tad too much. I will use a dose significantly less that doesn't knock me unconscious - I'm thinking 30mg and moving up by 5mg increments from there.
3. Any med changes do not have negative interactions with DMT.

What do you all think of this?  Did I make a bad decision?  Do you truly believe I should drop DMT from my playbook altogether, despite mental health, therapy, and meds improvements?  Frankly, I am a bit resistant to the idea of eliminating DMT out of my life altogether but I am happy to consider all viewpoints.  

If you've read all the way this far, thank you for reading!  I'm hoping to hear some great feedback from anyone willing to offer it.  Inexperienced or not, what do you think?

Hi buddy, thanks for your report.
I suppose ptsd is one of the issues where dmt/ayahuasca can have a tremendous positive effect, so I see no reason why you shouldn't do deems, as long as you are comfortable. But you might consider doing less than 55 if you want to remember the trip. Try 25-30 mg and you will probably breakthrough, but remembering a lot more. I don't do more than max 35, usually 25, since I also black out if I take too much. Less is more, find your sweet spot with 5mg increments.

Blessings

I remember reading in several places that 50mg was needed, so I tried measuring 50 but 55 was what fell on the scale, so I thought, “Meh, why not?”. I now realize that even 50 was too much. Next time I plan on a journey like that, I’m definitely starting around half that. I’ll be away from the deems for at least a month or two coming up very soon (and even internet access for a couple weeks) coming up pretty soon. I’m inclined to attempt a non-blackout breakthrough in order to give myself time to ponder the experience.

nice report

50mg is a bit too much for a gear what you have. i use / used several techniques, vaping is one of the most efficient 50mg is the sweetspot which most people recommend, since it works with the sandwich method very well, works with oil burner and other methods where people tend to waste a lot. this is why. with that dab tool i definitely wont go over 30mg. i have a special glass tool now, made by a friend, i get to the same place from 15-20mg like before with an oil burner from 40-50mg but when i used an rda vape it was 25-30mg fro the same experience level. i never tried a dab vape, but works similar i guess. from my current gear i can take 15-20mg in 1 hit easily. this is always my goal, 1 or max 2 hits. i like to do it alone and when its more than 2 hits, i drop things and such.. like eg. from a standard oil burner you will need more than 2 hits most likely.. and dropping a hot oil burner can cause issues..so what i'm curious about; can you draw a 20-30mg single hit from VS Molecule 22 which you use? if so i might try it, i got a little dmt vaping/burning gear collection here constantly looking for new methods
another thing: dmt helps with depression and mental issues, just like ayahuasca if respected and done right.reading your report i'm fairly sure you are on the right track. do a bit of meditation before blast off, focus on what you want to eliminate.. or elevate from your subconsciousness. dmt is a great tool and it's not an accident it found you

fly safe !

Yes starting from 30mg is a good idea and also perfecting the smoking technique is also important , with perfect smoking technique less is more ,


I can't really say whether it's a good idea to do this with PTSD , however experiment for yourselves and tread slowly , individual freedom is an important thing so one must experience what one needs to , knowing oneself and with wisdom

There is plenty information on ptsd and ayahuasca. You might find something useful.

https://www.google.com/s...QDw&q=ayahuasca+ptsd

Hi Unlocked,

I am just starting on this too and getting a better technique has required a little work for me but I am getting there. One other thing that I have noticed is that my mental approach can make larger doses feel more manageable or smaller doses feel stronger and sometimes things go bit sideways. My first breakthrough came when I was just clearing out my GVG out before I put it away.

What works best for me is trying to quiet my mind before I take a hit, I think it lets the spice do its work more. For me its all too easy to get excited and my mind races and obsesses a little (if thats possible.) I don't find that recipe for success.

OMG, you just described my first DMT’s session’s start.

I saw it too that was also in a hospital bed, and creatures were operating me. I was unable to speak although I didn’t even try. I believed I would never come back. I thought I screwed up my mind. This was the first 1-2 minutes. Then it got better.

What I found the strangest part that although I thought I was gone, and my consciousness shattered into small pieces, and I was unable not only to speak but also to think, I could sign it with my arm to my sitter that "everything was all right".

Well, maybe I did it after I was operated by the aliens.

I cannot tell you for sure it didn’t happen.

That was 40mg with a wooden pipe in one inhale. The shopkeeper explained it so well how to do it that my first ever vaping with the wooden pipe worked better than the GVG.

Nevertheless, I switched to pharma, and later, the mushrooms arrived.

Both pharma and the mushrooms have huge healing potential. They can be like a hundred therapy sessions with a great therapist. Or maybe a hundred years of it. I believe they helped me with details therapy wouldn’t have helped at all.

Mushrooms cover a larger spectrum of the emotions. They can be more euphoric than pharma. They can be more frightening too. Most, if not all of the bad parts went away after I found my dosage, and I learned how to talk to the mushrooms. Pharma is a safer bet but feels more alien. I can’t tell you which one has bigger healing power. (On what scale should I measure?) I can tell you only that mushrooms may help you with PTSD.

Also, pharma might be less visual than vaping D, but you get a lot of insight in exchange. A big plus that mushrooms don’t need you to take MAOI. If you go that route, I suggest you try the B+ strain. It’s emotional, caring, and it gives you decent closed eyes visuals.

I tried B+, Mazatapec, Golden Teacher. Truffles: Atlantis, Mushrocks, Dragon’s Dynamite, High Hawaiian.

The Atlantis was the most emotional. B+ was the closest to Atlantis.

Mazatapec and Mushrocks: sex, sex, suggestions.

Dragon’s Dynamite and Hawaiian: closest to pharma in visuals.

Golden Teacher: I don’t know as I overdosed it most of the time. It caused the scariest experiences I had on mushrooms, but I think it was super magical. It was only the last occasion when I found my dosage of it (because only a little of it was left). Yes, it was magical. I will try it again soon, but I would not recommend it for healing at the moment.

If you can get truffles, they can be easier on your mind, and more euphoric, but they toll your body more. I never felt to vomit on mushrooms. On truffles, it happened a few times I didn’t want to vomit. (But I never did). Truffles come in weaves. The afterglow is strong. Mushrooms come and stay.

If you find your way with a mushroom (I recommend B+ for you), they can be amazing healers. Besides, growing them is a lovely hobby. They are so cute. I check them every day many times. It’s like: nothing, nothing, nothing, small white dots, OMG OMG they are so huge what happened?

You care about each other.

My concerns are that it comes so fast it’s scarier, the initial physical pressure on me is stronger, and when I start liking it, it starts fading.

It’s not my technic. I got decent visuals. I loved it.

If you get pharma right, you might almost never want to vape D. If you do it, *please* read about the MAOI diet.

Besides, there are visuals I can get on pharma (and mushrooms) but not on vaped D. That’s also true the other way around but the difference is smaller. I mean, I can get that 2D cartoonish visual on pharma I see on D, but it’s less intense. On pharma (and mushrooms), I get 3D and multidimensional distant worlds, statues, and even creatures.

By the way, I found overdosed pharma more forgiving and less scary than overdosed mushrooms.

Both occasions when the mushrooms were heavy, I took them with MAOI. One of the trips turned into wonderful. The other one was shadowed by an unrelated episode of vertigo. On the other side, MAOI was always part of the pharma. So, who knows.

Normally, I have little open-eyed visuals on a pharma dose I consider normal. On a similar dose of mushrooms, I have more open-eyed visuals. Closed eyes, they are both awesome.

On the two occasions when I overdosed pharma, I think I had the craziest open-eyed visuals ever. I was inside fireworks. There were sparkles everywhere. I have no words how it felt. My body looked like a worm, but it wasn’t ugly. An almost beautiful worm.

Mushroom overdose: I saw eyes everywhere, and then, I saw the world in pixels.

My point is, pharma was the safest one for me amongst the three. You could try it first for PTSD. Then, you could try mushrooms. For healing, I would suggest you do D the last of them.

I didn’t try ayahuasca. It might be another story than pharma. Coming soon.

The MAOI was syrian rue.

I love overdoing pharma. So eruptive and explosive, full of life and love and conviction. There is always another level with a strong pharma trip.

Your analysis of the experience report is healthy, always good to check up on yourself and do the reflecting. The experience was valuable but may not be something you want or need to to again - for now. If you feel like you want to explore this again, please wait until you are ready to seek the guidance of the molecule again. We can all do with a lesson or two in loving more deeply the people important in our lives.