Although I took pharma and mushrooms and “mayahuasca” (mushroom with MAOI) dozens of times, I had no encounters. I saw wonders and miracles in space, yet I either didn’t consider them alive, or they seemed clones of me.

The only exception was a few meetings with “monsters” who wanted to “take over” my mind. More about it later.

A few days ago, I took mayahuasca on an empty stomach in the evening. I was lying on the bed with closed eyes in a dark room. It seemed ages until I started seeing subtle vibrations and blurred shapes.

“Is it always like this?” I asked myself.

Then I saw cartoonish images similar to what I see on D. They were desaturated and semi-transparent. Nothing intense. An old friend, the DMT-Clown, appeared. Although he is a bit scary, we are cool. Then, he was gone.

When I was ready to accept a weaker than usual experience, a wall appeared in front of me. That time, I didn’t consider it a wall. I was busy looking at its pattern. It was dark brown-green and reminded me of lichen in space.

As I didn’t even consider it a wall, I didn’t want to cross it.

Then it bent itself. It surrounded me. As I was inside it, it took the shape of a cylinder, rotated slightly, like a key turns inside a lock, and stopped. It started becoming brighter and brighter. When its color turned into dirty-yellow, it disappeared.

I found myself in a rainforest in another world. I was flying on an invisible airplane that was going to land. There were monster (non-human) children on it. They all looked similar. Another creature, who looked like an ent, was teaching them. I wasn’t sure if they were learning how to fly or how to live in that world.

Only the next day, I realized that the flight reminded me of a Salvia experience. The differences were:

Salvia was always another story that’s unlike any other substance I tried
On Salvia, I never knew I was on Salvia
On Salvia, I always met creatures while I had dozens of pharma and mushroom trips without encounters
On Salvia, I always had the feeling that I went home, and that world was real (without being aware I was on Salvia).
When I was in an airplane on Salvia, the world reminded me of my kindergarten from this reality. The other children were with me. The nurse was flying the aircraft by reading a tale and singing or chanting something familiar. The mushroom flight took place in an alien world
It was super difficult to get off the Salvia plane. I felt the typical “you are tied to the fabric of the Universe” salvia-experience. On the alien flight, I was “welcome to leave”. It was not my flight.
The best part of a Salvia trip is when it ends

Regardless of the differences, the similarities between the two flights prevailed. It was learning.

I don’t remember talking to the ent-like creature. I got off and looked around.

The forest was behind glass walls. The place was like a dark cave with giant aquariums, but instead of water, the tanks contained forests. I knew the purpose of the area was safe training.

Then, without any transition, I saw myself in a bright room in white-metallic armor. I might have had a weapon in my hand. Someone was there in similar armor. We had to protect two metallic cubes. They looked shiny silver.

I had no idea why I was there and who asked me to protect the cubes. I didn’t know what was inside.

Again, without any transition, I found myself outside, at the place where I left the flight training. It was dark. The episode with the cubes lasted for maybe ten seconds. Soon, I forgot about it.

As I moved or floated around, I saw dozens or hundreds of creatures who were going somewhere. They looked at me. I thought they were wondering what the heck I was doing there. They were also wondering about my looks.

As far as I can tell, one might have any form and look at that place as long as one can maintain it, which takes a lot of effort and willpower and practice.

Most of, if not all, my trips have a lot of sexuality. That might be another reason why they were wondering.

The place seemed to be a passage or an interdimensional airport.

Then “soldiers” appeared from the “sky”. I knew I would have to fight.

I had it before.

They wanted to take over my mind.

I thought this was the part about which people say, “surrender”. “Don’t fight it, or you will suffer”.

“Best advice ever”, I thought. It’s like telling the fly, “Get trapped in the web of the spider, shake it, make noise, and shout to her, ‘foooood’! Just Don’t fight it. Surrender. Trust the spider. She is from the nature! Let the illusion of separation go away!”

Thanks for the advice.

During my past (non-salvia) trips, my only encounters were monsters. They came alone. They had various forms. One was a dark ball with white, red, and blue sparks on it. It looked like a chocolate ball except for it wanted to eat me. Another one, whom I saw multiple times, was transparent, almost invisible, but huge and dark. Then, there was a beautiful woman who looked like a demon-goddess. Black scales covered her body. She seemed either sleeping or dead. Don’t ask me how she could talk to me. There was a hydra-like creature made of only pink-orange tentacles without a head. She seemed violent. Another looked like lichen. He felt masculine and was one of the scariests. And there was a mixture of a robot-spider-praying mantis difficult to forget.

All these creatures wanted to “eat me” or turn me into themselves or occupy my mind. They wanted to overwrite my patterns with their patterns. Except for two of them, they were weak, though. That’s why they wanted to trick me. Usually, they told me they were my true and more powerful forms, and they wanted to help me to become myself. They didn’t speak with words, more like telepathy. I never said or thought an explicit “yes”, but I noticed it started happening that I turn. And I realized that someone who was not me, was trying to take over my mind, and change me into themselves. It felt like saving myself in the last second.

I never learned if this was a real danger in any way or only hallucination. I didn’t learn it as I considered it insane to let it happen just like flying into the web of a spider. When the fly realizes that it wasn’t the best idea, it’s already too late. I was sure the only sane and intelligent reaction was to resist it.

It was easy to resist it in the past.

What happened on this trip was new.

On one hand, the creatures were way more powerful than anything that visited me before. They were not only more powerful than my earlier visitors. I thought they could have been much more powerful than me. Besides, they were many.

On the other hand, for a reason I can’t explain, I didn’t feel they wanted to hurt me. Not at all.

In summary, I had the feeling that my earlier visitors came with horrible intentions, but they were weak. The solders I met on this trip were magnitudes more powerful but not evil.

I considered they wanted to test me or show me “my place”. Or maybe it was a training, I thought. Anyway, I did my best to defend myself.

Fighting with these creatures isn’t physical. It’s also not like magic in computer games. There are no fireballs and lightning bolts. It’s all about willpower and imagination. If your presence, willpower, and imagination are stronger, if you can focus better, then you fill the other mind with yours. Otherwise, the outcome is less good for you.

You can develop “magic spells”. They are also about the presence. There is no pain or harm. There is only consciousness.

It didn’t seem or feel an option to anyhow fight back — all I wanted to defend myself. I felt they were coming in more and more.

Then, out of the blue again, while I was trying to stay myself, the metal cubes that I had to protect came to my mind.

I wanted to check if they were all right.

I blinked myself in the bright room where they were stored. At this moment, the whole world screamed loud.

I saw only one of the cubes. It was empty.

I was angry and scared and shocked.

First of all, I realized that I led the creatures with whom I was fighting, to this room. They saw the cubes because I thought about the cubes.

I didn’t know whether they took the content of the cube, or it was already stolen, or it was empty from the beginning.

I was also angry about why I was asked to protect them if I was not ready to do it. Or, it crossed my mind, maybe once I was trained to do it, but I forgot it.

Anyway, I realized I had no chance to protect them this time.

Two of the creatures I was fighting with looked like spaceships. They were not sitting on a spaceship. They were spaceships. Another was a whirling black cloud, a hundred or maybe a thousand times larger than me.

We were still fighting. They got inside my mind. Then something happened twice or maybe three times.

For a half second, I saw nothing but darkness. It was pure black. It was like if you are in a room, and for half second, someone turns off the light and then turns it on. There was no other light source. Or, if you are watching a movie, and the TV goes off for half a second.

All the time, my eyes were closed. I was aware of what was going on. I knew I could open my eyes at any time and come back. A few times, I drunk water. I even told the creatures, “Don’t worry. I won’t cheat. I won’t open my eyes. I just need to drink.”

The point is, I was quite normal and sane for a mushroom trip. Yes, someone, who wasn’t me, could shut down all the vision, and then turn it on.

At this point, I thought how stupid the people were who told me these are hallucinations. It was my therapist and a friend.

I took it as a mental insult. First of all, it was pointless to tell me this. Like, if I didn’t consider it already a hundred times, way before I talked to them, that it was a possibility to hallucinate on hallucinogens.

Breaking news, I considered this option.

I did it every day for months.

Except for, everything I saw or thought during the trips, I found in books and religions later. I didn’t read and didn’t know them earlier.

Still, it could have been hallucination.

I’m not a visual type. I don’t think in images. I think in sentences. It takes me a lot of effort to visualize a part of my body, with or without psychedelics. Last time I tried, it took me five to ten minutes to imagine an arm for myself with closed eyes. And it was only a silhouette.

The things I see are unlike any movie, computer game, or dream I have ever seen. They are super detailed and often unearthly beautiful. Sometimes, they have more than three dimensions. I put zero effort into seeing them. I just see it.

It’s difficult to consider that all of them were made up my brain as a hallucination. It’s difficult - but I do it. I don’t need my therapist or friend to tell me that it’s possible to hallucinate on psychedelics.

But how on earth can I hallucinate that someone turns off the light in my head for a half second? And it was turned off completely. Then, it was on again, and the “movie” started from where it stopped. It happened two or three times in a raw.

I also thought I could not tell whether it was turned off for half a second or ten thousand years. It was like I got turned off.

And, it happened when these creatures “break into” my mind. I’ve never had any similar experience before.

I fainted in my life a few times. I was in anesthesia a lot. I hit my head more often than what I would wish for. And none of these was anything like that experience.

Someone just turned me off and on.

I wasn’t even too high. A few minutes later, I was back. I could walk, drink, think, and even speak like normal.

Although some of the other trips were way more beautiful, euphoric or peaceful, this was one of my best trips I’ve had.

It was the one made me think that most likely, these worlds are real.

I feel I found a door or a window I was searching for all my life but barely believed I could see it.

It was a beginning.

Lovely report, thank you for sharing