Hence, why one would wade in the water slowly in order to see trends of possible unwanted consequences. But yes, point noted, it is a risk we all take at some level.

Agreed, very relatable. Mundane obligations of any sort ought to be conveniently placed far out of the question, which is why it is hard to find such a place. Granted, I could make more time to seek out far away secluded places which would seem more appropriate... hopefully without trespassing on a farmers property or being found in a national park, which believe it or not is somewhat difficult to do and which could as a result very easily impact anxiety levels within a trip. Come to think of it, there aren't many places where we humans are free to roam and sleep without question apart from these cubicles we must pay money to live in. In my experience, if two humans spot each other way out in nature they have a tendency to come together like dogs and sniff each others back sides to make sure everything is OK.. and make sure no one needs reporting to the police..

I assume you mean by "the universe provides for me at a necessary baseline level" something to do with circumstances in your life that offer you a measure of mental wellbeing. I also do have this and I would be lying if I said it is enough, mainly due to the nature of how suffocating the modern world is (traffic, technology, pollution, idle and frivolous thoughts broadcasted among the masses through social media etc). Although, i do suppose any human society in history had some level of clutter and banality (horse carriages constantly trotting past, the sound of roman sandles walking past concrete floor, the vision of blandly colored brick walls everywhere, obligations to society most of the day, etc).

Microdosing is ok, but it seems as if it isn't really addressing the larger issue at play here and rather just 'making ends meet' as it were. Not to mention microdosing has never quite offered the same psychological benefits as taking substantial amounts have. I think personal mental health is one of the biggest concerns any human ought to have in their life and it should take higher priority over a 'to do list'. As mentioned previously Dan_J, intuitions can oftentimes be blinded by our ego in trying to manipulate our actions so as to avoid dissolution. This means they aren't always to be trusted. This then offers a conflicting scenario, which many people in this thread have admitted to and empathized their concern for.

From the advice given in this thread I think the solution so far lies in a careful awareness of the ego attempting to restrain ourselves in a variety of ways as well as attempting to push the limits on the kinds of doses that I would feel comfortable with in a setting in which I don't (which I am in most of the time,ie at home, at work, at the shopping centre), and lastly what you both have advised and which I have been doing for a long time now: microdosing intermittently (which is still very helpful!).

I dont question you capabilities or experience. I just think that its important to listen to your gut. If it doesnt feel right, then dont do it. When the desire really grabs you again, then that will be your time.

I've felt torn before about whether or not to trip. Usually doesnt turn out well when I force the issue and go ahead with a trip even when I'm not sure about it. Better to wait until the desire is undeniable. But YMMV. I hope that your next trip is a great one.

Again, I don't thinks its as simple as 'trust your gut/intuition'. As my post above yours mentioned: "intuitions can oftentimes be blinded by our ego in trying to manipulate our actions so as to avoid its dissolution. This means intuitions aren't always to be trusted".

If you follow some of the posts in this thread of myself and others there is a clear concern for our ego's getting in the way of our motivations. This is the whole underlying theme of the thread, to really explore the unconscious impulses that we seem to overlook in the process of deciding when to trip or if at all. I feel the same about some of your experiences though, sometimes it is without a doubt a bad choice (like if you are physically or emotionally exhausted) and when trying to force it definitely does not end well, this isn't quite the same scenario though as the influences are different.

So, I hope I have clarified now why it isn't just as easy as waiting til the impulse meter on brain hits 11 and I want to trip. It is unerringly more complex than that..for that may not ever happen as a result of some mismanaged attribute of cognition (like some irrational unchecked fear). The motivations that one's unconscious mind has at times can be prone to delusion, misjudgement, lack of adequate understanding et cetera and we ought best to correct that by focusing on them with more scrutiny rather than taking a back seat and giving blind intuition so much credit for its whimsical features of decision making.

Regardless, I understand where you are coming from and why you say what you do. Thankyou for your wishes as well.

Hi fathomless, long time no see, I missed your contributions.

I think that a person in this scenario would have to close the gaps and those underlying fears and get to a point where he is comfortble. Its all about freedom. How free are you? That is much more important than hightened mystical experiences, which is just an experience...life is so much more, its much more important to fill these gaps, to live in a state of total freedom and strenght and total awareness, but to do it, not to live in contradiction, to think 'I have to become better' but continue being mediocre and dissatisfied, but to put an end to it, to change, to say 'yes, I am present awareness, there is no fear I accept, I root out fear before it even arises. I make the best of each second and thus am ready to lose, fail, die, at any moment with no fear. And when does one start? This very instance.

May I ask, what does one do psychedelics for? thats the question. This is a very important question and I wish that everyone could offer their reason. It seems to me that if we delve into this question than we will better see the nature of psychedelics and all will benefit. And what better to talk about than psychedelics

Please may one not do that whole nicotine thing, thats a bad mistake. I hope its not something one was actually considering.

Peace and love🌼

Wow Daedaloops message is so funny. "the patternless source that makes all patterns" Thats a good way of calling it.

Awh, Thanks Fran, that is real sweet of you. It's funny how life just takes over and gets in the way sometimes. Although, perhaps I just poorly managed my interests and time

I really value the truth you speak here. Sometimes though, it is hard for people to free themselves of their conditions, for, the conditions very imposition is something indelible and constant (ie someone who has a disease or disability and lives in a state of pain or even a psychotic who lives in a world of illusion and chaos). You might then say, be as free as you can be given your circumstances. Indeed, I am trying. Freedom through acceptance, just as the buddha taught.

Psychedelics are a great tool for finding acceptance for things in ones life and this is largely my aim alongside to grow, learn, share, expand my consciousness. It is easy for a person to get in a double bind with psychedelics where they become afraid of the very thing that will help free them of fear. Indeed, i think you are right in that some level of restriction or unfreedom in ones life needs to be dealt with and ought to be managed appropriately in order to obtain a sufficient level of freedom which is required to then take the plunge to obtain are larger level of freedom. This insight is very helpful to me. Thank-you.

What I did in 2019 was to trip the Solstices and Equinoxes so that there would be 4 evenly spaced occassions on which a trip would definitely occur. I did this because in the previous couple of years I only tripped when I felt the call, and that resulted in only tripping 2 or 3 times a year, and I knew I wanted more than that. In addition to the 4 planned trips I also ended up doing 2 more, bringing the total to 6 times for the year. And that number felt just right.

But it was very helpful to have those 4 evenly spaced occassions when, with months of forewarning and preparation, I knew that a trip would occur. I plan to do it again in 2020. Something similar might be helpful for you to try fathomlessness, if you havent already considered it.

All I can say is that you seem like a pretty intellectual guy. That is a great blessing, but I'm sure that it presents some challenges too. I dont buy into the whole idea of intuition becoming corrupted by the ego, because with a stronger sense of intuition one would realize that this was happening in the first place! Intuition that can be corrupted is not intuition at all. Bear with me, be a "reductionist" for the moment. Dont overcomplicate the matter. Do you want to trip or not? When the desire outweighs whatever is holding you back then you will act. I stand by that. So the answer is not greater reliance on intellect. The answer is to forge a deeper connection with the intution that is innately there within you. And psychedelics are the best tool that I know of for this task. I wish you all the best with whatever you decide.

Thanks for your story Grey Fox, that puts in perspective a nice little regime to implement and I can see myself forcing myself to book in my calender little get away trips from the hussle and bussle of city life.

I like to think of myself more as a psuedointellectual, haha, all skin and no bones. I think your conclusion that one would realise ones intuition is being corrupted is hopeful simply because intuition comes from places hidden to your purview (the unconscious). I understand why you say desires will outweigh what holds you back but what holds me back is competing desires (desires to conform, keep stable minded, be productive, stay 'comfortable' all of which are also partially manifest and driven by the unconscious. I guess the problem now is that these desires are undermining my desires to trip, slowly eating it away from every conceptual angle of it's form deep within my mind and indeed other members seem to think this is exactly what the ego does over time. This being said, I would care to hear from you why you think intuition can not be corrupted. From wiki: "Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without recourse to conscious reasoning". It is by definition unconscious and so I will rephrase to why do you think the unconscious can't be manipulated or corrupted when there are clear cases of this: non-dispositional cases of paranoia, psychosis, the intuition to suddenly start shooting your classmates, personality disorders, immoral acts based on lust, infidelity etc. Intuition is blind and can be overridden by irrational desires all the time.

You are 100% not wrong that psychedelics forge a deeper connection with the intuition that is innately there within you. It is just a matter of fighting the barricades the mind can place in the way in order to get there.

I view intuition as the nonverbal gut instinct that all people carry inside of themselves. In the moment, without having to stop and reflect, we humans have an innate wisdom that directs us. If a situation is unsafe the gut alerts us. If someone is not being honest, the gut sounds warning. The gut recognizes the truth of what is happening. It doesnt rely on words. It originates from before words even existed. It has nothing at all to do with words or abstractions. Rather, it is the primitive animal self within, which inuitively understands and acts, long before the cumbersome intellect even comprehends what is happening. The gut's grasp on reality is much more dependable than the intellect's. The intellect can be corrupted. The intellect can be deceived. But the gut is primitive and unchanging. It does not lie to us. It exists so that we can survive INSPITE OF THE INTELLECT, which has the troublesome habit of making poor choices. You can convince your intellect of all sorts of nonsense, but the gut will not believe it.

People rely on terms like "ego" and "ego death" to help describe what it is that psychedelics do to us. But I find it more helpful to put those words (with all their baggage) aside in order to look at the psychedelic experience with greater openess. What I observe is that with psychedelics, especially at the higher doses, a sort of mental reset takes place. Rebooting a computer is a helpful analogy. The system shuts down and then reloads. It is a process. The system is not operable during the process. Likewise during a trip the intellect shuts down and is reloaded. For me, during the peak of a strong trip I become nonverbal. All my ideas and opinions are temporarily stripped away. In that moment "I" no longer exist. Existence itself is all that remains. Existence and observation. No thoughts or ideas. Just reality. Just gut. Nothing else. And that is why I trust the gut. And thats why I keep trying to reconnect to it more and more, always trying to hear it louder and more clearly.

I dont like the word ego and ego death either...one could could have no ego and smoke dmt, in which case what dies? Nothing. Like meditation the breakthrough is a return to our true home, a return to the best part of us

My best example for intuition is small lizards. When walking and suddenly a small lizard appears in one's path one jolts up and avoids to step on it with all one's heart. No authority is imposed on the psyche in this behavior, no verbal thought constructs are playing in the mind. It is completley intuitive. One doesnt wish to hurt or kill another being. Its like a cringe feeling in your stomach, like ugh...omg I would feel terrible if I were to cause harm to that lizard. But its completley intuitive and a snap second judgement. Its not thought out. It all plays out in half a second.

And when it comes to people....who is a good buisness parter, who a good friend, who trust worthy, etc., intuition is an amazing tool. Most of the times when I thought something was weird with someone it turned out to be true through obsvering them some hours. Yet my intuition knew it in 6 seconds. Its one of the most amazing and baffling things to experience. It seems to be that the brain can acumulate vast amounts of information (body posture, facial expression, tone of voice, behavior, glint in the eye, smile, etc) in seconds and based on that information give us an intuition: is this person trust worthy, nice, etc,? The intuition can be yes or no but its based on factual information the eye and mind picked up and processed at a subconscious level.