Hi guys, I'm after some advice.

I find myself convincing myself that I don't have the time to take psychedelics. I occasionally will glance at my personal supply of psilocybin and think "I'll do it on the weekend" and the weekend comes around and I say "not today, I have too many things to do".

This may or may not be caused by me not feeling like I can find a comfortable setting to take them in as I don't want to do it at home as I like to be in nature. Since I live in a city I don't feel comfortable tripping in semi-public natural environments like parks as these substances are illegal and stigmatized which can induce social anxiety in me and negatively affect the trip. This considered, I can manage small doses in those environments and very much desire to do so for reasons of personal growth and insight but the issue is that I can't convince myself to take them anymore.

Another possible cause may be a misguided unconscious comprehension of the psychedelic mental state as too separate from or conflicting with ordinary affairs within my life that I feel I need to be on top of (including my normal mental state) so that I can't feel comfortable in making the executive choice to ingest mushrooms anymore which would thereby marry them together. Taking psychedelics has always been something that should seem exciting as well as therapeutic to me and because of that I should want to take them in order to receive the benefits that lie within the experience.

I almost wish psychedelics had a little bit of addictive potential, say similar to marijuana, so that I would feel compelled take them more often. Seeing as Psilocin has no significant effect on dopamine receptors, I am even considering taking them with nicotine so that the pathways activated by psilocybin are jointed with nicotine's activation of the mesolimbic dopamine reward pathway (which is the main basis for addiction to hard drugs, sex, cannabis, food, etc). This could be tapered back once a steady and healthy basis of desire for taking psilocybin is established. This may be a silly idea and for that reason I am open to criticism and eager to hear your thoughts.

Cannabis can be very psychedelic in nature when taken with that intent. Maybe start there?

I understand your dilemma, but I disagree completely with your post title-- and the sentiment it contains.

If you carefully think about the value psychedelics bring to your life, then you can make an appraisal on when or if they are right for you in general or at a given time/set and setting.

Wishing there was some additional "pull" there to drive you into taking them isn't a healthy way to look at it my friend--

I've been forced by circumstance to abstain for similar reasons for years at a time, because I simply wasn't in an environment that I could use these plants safely-- and that was OK.
One of the strengths of DMT in particular is the short nature of the experience-- adding harmalas can lengthen that experience considerably if desired.

Maybe the problem isn't that you need to be "pulled" into taking your mushrooms, it's that you know that right now/right here isn't the right time for you-- which is fine brother. That's life. I'll never get the years of potential experiences back that I was required to go through, but there is no sorrow from me about that-- because I am again at a point in my life where I can find the right time to enjoy them in the correct set and setting for me.

You will know if and when that time comes, or you might decide one day that you are willing to stay inside and enjoy the experience by yourself in the security of your home. There's zero reason to leave my house when I'm under the influence-- 95% of the time my porch is as far as I go. Make a 6 hour playlist of music you love, be thoughtful about the amount/type of plant you choose, and try to enjoy it if you can.

But the most important thing I would share with you is this: if you're not feeling right about it, you should NOT do it. You will know someday if you find yourself in that place.

For me and from the available scientific literature I have read, cannabis does not possess the same level of significant psychological healing properties that serotonergic psychedelics posses (like psilocybin/dmt etc). While it does provide some philosophical insight in to my life, it makes me anxious, makes my thoughts quite dull and slow over the proceeding few days, it also impacts my short-term memory as well as motivation to partake in goal orientated tasks. These sorts of negative side-effects are not seen in serotonergic psychedelics as far as I am aware.

As for mixing the two together, it has never had positive effects for me, way too chaotic.

Another important point is that the last thing I also want to do is get addicted to weed again (that was a terrible time in my life).

One of the best things about psychedelics is that they're not addictive. You should just make the time if you really want to do it. If you dont want to trip then thats ok too. No one on the internet can tell you what to choose.

But I get your concern about not having a private outdoor place to go. Maybe you can borrow someone's backyard for an afternoon? As long as there is privacy and some plants and a view of the sky then you can make it work.

Thanks for your reply coastal, it is well received. The viewpoint you express has been my own for more than five years now, however, I am starting to question its validity. Why am I doing this? I think because I see the fallacy in attributing a purpose to states of affairs that simply are without purpose, ie 'My life is the way it is for a reason and so it should continue to remain as such without any effort on my part'.

I want to say I agree with you that carefully thinking about the value psychedelics bring to my life will make me decide whether to take them in my current given time/set and setting, but I feel just thinking about their value isn't enough, it isn't enough because there are environmental influences that outweigh my desire to engage with them, as well as possibly misguided thoughts about needing to remain sober all the time to stay 'on top of things' and so on. And you're right, I don't think addiction is a healthy way to look at it at all, but it may provide a necessary evil in order to give me a shuv in the right direction away from all sorts of unconsciously deluded or otherwise not completely lucid rationalizations of why I ought to abstain.

It is very easy to adapt our preference to suit our environment so that we remain at peace an happy. We may do this irrationally and not even realise.

I suppose in simpler terms, what I am trying to say is that there is no way to be sure whether right now/right here isn't the right time for me. To say it is not without evidence is ascribing a purpose to my life situation that may not be there. At any rate, it is nice to hear that you don't regret all the lost time for potential psychedelic experiences and I can only help to get to the same place soon enough.

I agree with you that one of the best things about psychedelics is that they're not addictive, although I am trying to outline a possible downside of this in one particular situation, my own. Unfortunately it isn't as simple as just 'making the time if you really want to do it', for there are psychological and environmental constraints that are in opposition to this which I have tried to give examples of above (however deluded they may be).

You're right that no one on the internet can tell me what to choose, but I think talking about the nature of the situation can help provide depth of understanding and in turn offer a new perspective on things. Heck, maybe just bringing it to the forefront of my mind will make me question all sorts of internal negotiations a bit more and bring me out of it.

If you really want to do it then it will happen. All this mulling it over just makes it seem like you're not ready to do it right now. If thats how you feel then why not just accept it? If I really want to eat a steak then I eat the steak. I dont make a list of pros and cons and agonize over it. Do you even really want to trip? Because if you do then it will happen.

Kilindi Iyi said it quite well regarding 30+ gram mushrooms trips: "You don't cherish wanting to do it, but you cherish what you get from it".

From my own experience, it's easy to plan, but when the time comes procrastination sets in. Do you have any trip friends? Having the companions can make it easier to take the plunge. If you prefer solo-trips, maybe experiment a little. Have a lighter trip indoors with some good music if it's an unfamiliar setting.

I think this is something we all encounter as we grow in our relationship with these materials. We know we are due for another encounter, but the ego drums up every possible avenue of resistance. Even though I've been planning this for a month, tonight is not right because (insert any rationale possible here). Ego's don't particularly like being disidentified with, or worse yet, dissolved entirely.

I find it's helpful to schedule and ritualize the session. This Friday is the winter solstice. I will take 3 grams of mushroom at 11:11 pm in my bedroom. I will prepare by going for a walk in nature in the afternoon, cleaning the whole house, taking a ritual bath with essential oils, and creating a playlist of beautiful music that I love. Just before the session I will cut up a bunch of fresh fruit to nibble on, break out the coloring books, and queue up a youtube stream of beautiful imagery on the television. When the time comes I will sit with the medicine and set a strong intention examining deeply why I am approaching the teacher and what I hope to gain from the encouter. I will then take the medicine confidently and unhesitatingly and distract myself entirely until I feel it coming on, at which time I will welcome my old friend with joy and gratitude and prepare to surrender to the lesson.

After putting so much planning and effort into preparing for the session, there is much less anxiety and room to make excuses. Approaching with such a strong intention also seems to facilitate more profound and beneficial experiences in general. This is my experience and approach anyway. Give it a try, if nothing else at least you end with a clean house and a plate of tasty fruit.

I'll be taking some mushrooms Friday afternoon and burning a little 12" burning man with some friends. Gonna give him a little bouquet of leaves (salvia/iboga/caapi/chacruna) and a mushroom

Never was the old adage 'Be careful what you wish for' more adequate.

Entheogens have always nailed this one home

I feel for you, fathomlessness. My situation is somewhat similar, in that I can see the benefits that seroternergic psychedelics would bring to my life yet I almost always postpone taking them when only loosely planned, e.g., "I'll take them at the next full moon, which is in six days time, ho hum..." followed, of course by it not "feeling right" or simply forgetting to prepare in time.

Typically nowadays I'll plan a not inconsiderable physical journey to somewhere where I will feel happy about committing several (minimum three) days to the whole experience - fortunately I have friends of the right sort who between them organise birthday parties at suitable locations a couple of times a year. The thing about travelling away is, as well, that mundane social obligations which tend to arise on a day-to-day basis are more conveniently placed far out of the question.

In a way, I could say the universe provides for me at a necessary baseline level, but I still feel like an additional neurological reset here and there would be of benefit for my motivation and creativity. The festive season is before us, perhaps a time window will manifest there - although clear and unavoidable scheduling of the session is what guarantees engagement with the process.

Its a sleepless night for me, tossing and turning, as so many thoughts pass through my mind. Tomorrow is my time with San Pedro, and these pre-flight jitters will not let me rest. I keep thinking back to the last time in September, and some of the more challenging aspects of that journey. What will tomorrow hold? There is no way to know... It will just be me and San Pedro and a fire and the sunset and the stars. Will I find joy? Will I find sorrow? Will my body suffer? I do not know. But I know that I must drink the cup, because it calls to me.

Safe and insightful journeys to you grey fox

To OP:
Have you tried microdosing?
I understand if work or personal life does get busy I'm bound not to trip, yet with half a gram of mushrooms once a week or fortnight does hit the spot with no tripping is the perfect excuse to partake.
I'm 6'3 and about 85kgs so adjust dose to suit body's weight, your looking for a nice serotonin release at the 3-5hr mark with not tripping.

Would be a good way to get your feet wet and it might lead to more of a desire to trip.

How many grams do you usually dose on a trip?

I'd suggest micro dosing too as a way to incorporate into a busy life. It's totally understandable not wanting to spend 6+ hours when there are many things on the plate. Or perhaps treat it like a break, time-off every once a while and plan it on your calendar. I find that way it's more intentional and you can't really make it a scapegoat that you're too busy. But of course if you do not find the need for it then there is no need to push yourself to go through taking anything. I'd say honor yourself intuition honestly of how you feel.

I know you are just trying to give advice and thanks for that, but I would like to say respectfully that I think your sentiments are far too reductive. As I said in my earlier posts to yours "Unfortunately it isn't as simple as just 'making the time if you really want to do it', for there are psychological and environmental constraints that are in opposition to this which I have tried to give examples of above (however deluded they may be)."

Thinking this issue is as simple as you describe just shows a lack of understanding of the complexity of the actual issue (although it may evidently seem to you that I am simply over-complexifying things unnecessarily). Furthermore the conclusion that 'mulling things over' automatically concludes 'I am not ready' is not a valid one. Deliberation doesn't necessitate a lack of aptitude or similar, in fact deliberation often signifies that one has the capacity to reflect on a deeper interplay of issues in ones life in order to understand more about them and therefore make better decisions as a result which can prevent unwanted outcomes.

Thanks DoingKermit, that is an interesting perspective that I have heard many times and even felt in other aspects of my life, ie not wanting to travel or do something arduous which offers recompense that is invaluable long-term in some manner or form. I have since been playing with smaller doses every so often and try to not make a ritual of eating them (in the same way one would decide to drink a beer or roll a joint) but rather to eat them like a quick snack thats decided on impulse so as to avoid the procrastination you speak of.

Thanks Dreamer That's helpful. Contrariwise though, as I said to DoingKermit above, unritualising lower end doses has eased the tension for me surrounding the difficulty in wanting to merge the two very different types of cognition. However, for larger doses I think what you say is beautifully illustrated and a good choice which I will implement when I find a good enough setting.

You're so right about the ego. It is so adept at finding reasons outside of oneself to shift the blame to, and i think it is avoid scrutinization or 'psychological self-evaluation'. It wants to hold the reigns and not be questioned, like a stubborn monkey on someones back or better yet kafke's description of a struggle:


We all know here (hopefully) that setting is one of the primary constituents of a good trip (the other being set). Now, with what we have discussed in mind, how are we sure the desire for a pleasing and apt setting is not a fabrication of our ego's to convince us not to dose ourselves? A silly question, I know, but one that could catch some people out in a lot of circumstances. Perhaps my desire for the right setting in order to feel comfortable for higher end 'ritualised' doses is just a fabrication that my ego has made to convince me out of it. Or perhaps my desire for the right setting is valid and is preventing some psychological harm befalling me. Either way it is to difficult to know, but my point here is that the tactics of the ego has its hand within our implementation of 'set and setting' to the point where we may be unable to see clearly about their truth or value in a number of different circumstances. It is blinding in a way and yet we take it as unerring truth, which is a bit shocking.