My freind got floored again last night... It seems he might not be the "hard head" he once thought he was. He had just gotten into a quarrel with someone over somthing frivolous, just before he planned on smoking, he wondered if he should carry on in a riled state of mind and self-rightousness, but decided to proceed as planned. Just under 70mg. loaded into pipe. After the first hit a soothing calm came over him, feeling better after the spat, another hit and patterns rose from beneath the floor to the surface of the carpet pouring in from beneath like heavy vapor. Last hit, the room shatered, like everything composed of large elementery particles that are marble sized beads, like a world of large peyote stitch, shattering explosivly, then re-constituting. The objects in the room would blow up than re-aggregate, the objects seemed to contain the spirit of the person he had quarelled with and were screaming and yelling at him. His head was down and his hair was hanging in his face, he'd feel somthing like a bug on his head and go to wipe it off, but than his hair would multiply with tracers that didn't fade but hung about creating a curtain that would envelope him and wouldn't go away, "what the fuck is this whats going on!?" he felt clostophobic and like he was cornered in a room that had just caught fire and was out of control, he'd turn to lay down on the pillow hed provided for himself,but it was like prism wich would confuse him from his goal, than he'd feel a bug on his head again, got to wipe it off and proceed to pull a curtain all around him which would freak him out again, to where he'd try to lay down but the prism effect would confuse him than he'd feel a bug again, this cycle repeated it's self, what seemed to break it was that somthing was not right in the feel of things, not to his right with the pillow and cushion, or to his left with the bug in his hair. He made out why it felt weired to touch his head or the cushion. In his left hand which he'd been trying to get the bug out, he still held the pipe, in his right hand where he groped for the pillow was the lighter. Looking at these things sort of grounded him(I use the term lightly), it was hard for him to distinguish the objects but it reminded him that he'd just smoked DMT, so he dropped them and managed to lay down. Every thing in his feild of vision had the look of snow crystals, up close,very large and not restricted in color like snow itself but taking up the color of the room. The crystals moved in different dirrections slowly, passing through each other, intermingling but not creating any kind of drag or friction. Laying there he "heared" a voice,(un-literal), The voice seemed to be like a collective awarness of a massive being, physiclly and continuimlly transcedental. The being was like the atomic universe, mabey as a whole, or mabey of one element. But it was like since this energy moved in a certain way, repeatedly forming a pattern, an awareness arose of self being the continuous fullfillment of the pattern, the self was also the intent for the energy to move in that certain repetive patternistic way to in order to retain its self,(its atomic/elemental structure that we precieve, would be the patten, and its form) and also the knowledge of how it would be to react a predictable way, varying in quality based on the substance it was in contact with (chemical re-action/change) was also its sense of self. Well in this case the substance in contact with the force was my freind, and its "voice" was merely a reaction do to contact with the substance that is my freind It "told" him in a jist, that it was timless, it was there in the begining, a part of a universe that pre-exist this cosmic one with its large bodies. and the force of the large bodies which act upon the other large bodies and the smaller bodies. That it was a building force of the large bodies, that the aggregation creating the large bodies were itself, acting on the small bodies which is itself, to make us, people earth, which are also itself, and that it wasn't really concerned with these other senses of self that arose through the process, as in the large bodies gained a sense of self, and the earth and its inhabitants gained a sense of self, that it wasn't interested in my freinds personal issues/quarelling, that it could and would just assume deteriorate his body and sense of self dependent on that body with its presence or energy/radiation, or simply thru reacting as itself, that tho a human is comprised of the small bodies, the loss of a humans life is not harmful to the small bodies, that they/it will go on un effected by any loss of a life,that it was impartial to the human sense of self because it had it's own motive and all things are comprised of it and are a direct result of its motive/intent/way of being, life and humans were a biproduct of its relationship with its self, not interested in anyone human, but humanity as an organic mechinism. As my freind lay there he managed to periodiclly breath out some kind of feeble "laugh", based on the shear intensity of the experience and on realizing just how meek and pathetic he ws in comparrison to this kind of timeless power and its sincerity, its impartiality, and just how dependent he was on this existance that could careless about him, how could he go on with such arrogance???. Now as he lay there and percieved these things, he had this feeling of kind of emerging into being through the Earth, like he was formed in the soil and lay there latent, without perception or mobility until this kind of thawing was happening, like the ice was melting, he percieved wind and felt the sensation of being in the wild. He could see his hair and it really seamed to be a product of the earth, his breath, and sense of body to him was seeming to be of the earth rather than some personal possesion, he lay there and a physical image of himself arose in his mind, and it seemed of the earth. Now there was no voice actually present, these were heared nebulouslly and came more into formation as the intensity of the experience blew over. My freind began to feel glad that he didn't have a hair cut projecting some concieved sense of style or trend or some contrived look based on worldly fashion or some attempt to identify with a contrived social group, he was glad he was Earthy and realized if he was more in the manic pursuit of image and conventional beauty like he was in his early 20's, that this encounter with this being would've totally shredded his sense of superficial self, and him a confused, and naked alien to the earth. He had a feeling he was the embodiment of the spirit of Uranium what ever that means. 45min later 60mg in pipe, tripped long and hard, with more control over thinking faculty as is the case with repeated smoking, stared at cactus, an impression of being in a flat in a South American city in the 19th century, but as an invesible affectless observer not a resident or a participant, not really "there". Art danced around the room, thinking that DMT was like experiencing the spirit and structure of art, and that focusing on any one object was like psychic acupuncture and could also release backed up emotive energy, and or sensuality, and contemplating the "atomic(?)" world he'd been exposed to. Another 100mg. This is too awsome, every hit, or slight change, heater on, looking left or looking right, changes the experience til it is so unique from the other that its like being somewhere else on somthing else. Most DMT experiences have simmilar qualities, but there is so much diversity. JUst when he thought somthing was typical of DMT, he smokes again, and is exposed to a new patter and elongation of particular curves, the intensity and quality vary from experience to experience rather than dosage. 50mg is different than 50mg in many ways. Start time 8pm - end time 12:30ish, went to bed very worn out, perception was taxed. For the 3rd time now the experience has been followed with a hangover A headace that is severe enough to make him puke, but goes away fast and easy. anyone else experience "hang-over" symptoms of any kind??

Man, your deep into long lasting DMT smoking. Do you never feel like it's better to have an aya experience if you need such a long lasting one?

My freind is very interested in the Aya' (and anologs like psilo-huasca)experience, and un ex-perienced. Hes also interested in the idea of smoking DMT during the aya' experience. With a little experience in the tryptamine mind set, one finds the intensity fear, nausea, euphoria is ephemeral and means no harm. As hard-core as it gets, you can always reassure yourself that you'll return to "normality" un harmed, dare I say, even healthier??

Until now, the return to 'normality' for me always was accompanied by better health, mentally and physically though the first time I was very tired at the end and went directly to bed after it. The last time some severe ego-loos also came back to 'normality'. Since the new ingestion method for aya I've got no nausea anymore, the three times before that I puked the hell out me. And I wonder too what will happen if you smoke DMT during the aya trip, a good idea of you although I think on this moment I'm too scared to try that out.

smoking dmt whilst on aya i think is an ideal way to titrate dosage

Tribal Dreamings-what do you mean by "titrate dosage"? Traveler-It seems to me that the trouble with psychedelics isn't necissarily with the drug, but society and the general close minded complex that is our social convention, and that has a broad spectrum meaning. Fear might be a natural side effect when taking a compound that forces you to open up to your self, and takes you through your heart and mind and shows you things there within that you were unaware of, but fear is somthing already within us, the paranoia associated with drug use is amplified. In most cases either by being previouslly DIS-informed about drugs, as in... "Oh my God, I cant breath...My hearts beating weird...I'm gonna die if I dont get to a Dr., this cannabis is going to kill me", This happened to my friend several times when he was younger, til he read some unbiased literature and health statistics, the health paranoia began to fade and he figured that the effect was psycho-symatic. Another way fear can be exploited into paranoia is due to the laws that have all our freinds cornered. I'm sorry but DMT itself doesn't make them paranoid, but some how having soap-making supplies or a pressure cooker sent through the mail does. Fear is within us, the archaic laws and the extremities they will take our lives to, exploit that fear into paranoia and in some cases even psychosis. And than of course the substance is blamed by the law enforcers, they say "See! We told ya so", when it ws them who made it so. Every time a DEA agent gets shot in a heroin bust, ironiclly he/she is in agony crying for morhine or oxycodine. Ak any cop in any country "whats the number one problem in this country, whats the root to all the killing and crime??" They'll tell you it's drugs. Ask a socialologist, or anyone with 1/2 a brain, they'll tell that the root to all the crime or at least its amplification, is prohibition of drugs. The other end of the drug problem as I see it, which I would say is actually close-mindedness and rigidity problem, is that after a taking a powerful voyage within yourself, within the enviroment, within the galaxy, after exposure to universal truths and seeing things really undescribable. One is expected to return to there 9 to 5 cube, doing data entry or flipping burgers, they're expected to return to there mundane lives and preform duties in there typical patternistic way of life, where the person has yet to have come to grips with the experience, they may've become a new person, yet they dont have the "room" or "course" to formulate the experience into there natural expression. There's hardly anyroom to talk about it in most social circles. Point being and I'll semi-sub-quote the vaults of Erowid...It may be difficult to intergrate the experience/yourself into society. So you become quieter, or mildly depressed when you probablly shouldv'e stayed home by yourself or in the company of folks who understand. You probablly should've spent a day or two to regroup, to formulate your new self or this new thing into your self, and mabey done some gardening or somthing else universal before plunging into the cube, but we can't cuz we''ll lose it all and within two weeks become homless, and they'll all say, "he/she was being quiet and acting strange, he must be on drugs", and we might even tell ourselves, it must be drugs, and within us all there is a huge body of false, or subjective data on the issue of drugs, that we might even bring to life if we began to think, "mabey that it is the drugs", we will begin to associate the disimformation with our behaviour or there speculations, and thus become a worn out druggy purley by social force and identifying with dis-information and identification with social profiles. Here is an analogy---There is a surgical procedure where in a laser is used to damage specific areas of the eye...thats it, after that nature takes it's course, the damaged area heals over and the area's of the eye that weren't functioning perfectlly, heal but the areas dont return to not functioning propperly, they heal and function propperly. So if your smoking DMT or ingesting datura, lets say that you are "damaging" yourself, but when you return to "normality" you come back to normal, which is really a interactive process of adjusting yourself to what is objectived. If one doesnt rest, or take the propper steps after this eye surgery, or if one picks the scabs and fucks with the wound, one will undoubtedly screw there eyes up. The psyche is a little trickier than the eye, I think what is "normal" to the world is abnormal to the earth and vice versa. So if one is normalfied to the earth, as in healed back to normal human design, they will more than likley seem abnormal to the world which is humans designed or aligned to what is currently conventional between the groups laws, ideals, or the social convention in it's present state of mundane materielism and black and white statistics and violence anger and self righteousness, If one came all the way back to earthly normality in Los Angeles, they'd probably be crucified.

I like your thinking about the self-healing body, thats a good one to think over. As for fear; there are many recipies for that. Society is one of them and fear for the unknown is another. It seems your body is afraid of a lot of things and your mind might overcome a lot of them with knowledge. Standing on a high building is a good example, your body is afraid but your mind knows there is little to fear and overpowers the body. You can ask yourself where all those fears come from, some are genetically programmed in you so you don't get yourself killed at the next zebracrossing. Other fears might be programmed into you by drilling you as a kid: "drugs are bad for you mmmkay?" some may hold truth while others are insane to begin with. Politicians like to milk fear because people are so easy to influence with it.

Yea it seems we have it inside us, some of it is primal and can save your own life or the life of others, but for our own personal and social reasons we project it on to various nouns and verbs that arent objectivley receptive to it so this particular vivasciousness that we've cultivated into what we call fear, is probibly in surplus as far as our energy banks go, and eventually becomes a stumbleing block. Meditation of one form or another is a good tool in safley difusing this energy. If we let the thoughts arise, allow the fear to take hold, yet do nothing to cultivate it, dont join in internally, than it should naturally fizzle down to at least normal. Yes the body will naturally heal itself, it is the nature of all things that arent being meddled with or aldulterated in some way or another to settle into there natural state of health and balance, the pond settles itself.