My mother’s transition from a conformist rational reductionist closed minded religious paranoid and strict Muslim into a relaxed, mature, open minded mushroom head:
1-her early years and personality layering
-family background:
my mother is a 50 year old Iranian woman born a few years before the recent Islamic republic revolution, her father was an uneducated man which worked the farms, and her mother was an uneducated housewife that nurtured 8 kids in her life before dying 9 years ago, although her father is still alive and well for a 90 year old man.
-relationship with parents:
my mother grew up in a large family, and as you can imagine the parents of such families can spare little attention to their children as they have to engage in work to feed and clothe them.
-education:
her school years began in a very modest school in the city and no special education was given to the children who attended these schools, although as she aged into her teen ages, she grew an extensive interest in books and literature and the famous poetry of Farsi writers and began reading, which to some degree gave her a more advanced outlook of the world, having been unable to join a university because of the revolution events for almost 6 years, her liking towards knowledge dimmed and circumstance led to her joining an art university, studying graphic design and eventually became a designer of clothing, coming back after 4 years in university to her hometown.
-career and marriage:
she became a school teacher and in her early 30s married my father in the traditional Muslim way, where two families arrange a wedding if the groom and the wife accept each other after a few times of meeting and talking, two years after her marriage she got pregnant with me, her only child and the only child in the family, and thus began my father’s reign of terror and mental torture.
-dysfunctional marriage and consequences:
my father’s change in attitude from a nice husband to a miserly and bitter person started with her pregnancy with me, which had roots in his own family and their problems and the lack of compassion in his life, he started accusing my mother of being a thief and preforming sadistic actions throughout the years, which eventually transformed my mom into a bitter and broken woman too.
-final analysis of her personality layers:
my mother lacks a sense of uniqueness because of her large family, also ambition and such qualities, later on having had difficulty perusing her academic dreams, she had at best a moderate passion for her education and career which eventually were wiped out because of her difficulties with my father, over the years having locked herself up with a man that mentally tortured her, her psyche became strangled, dark and un-moving, and last but not least, her inner worlds were dead.
2- affecting factors and ongoing events:
-religious background:
the existing popular culture of Islam in Iran, is a toxic fume that is in the lungs of anyone who partakes in it, much like Christianity and Catholicism today the culture of Islam is strict and lifeless, untrue and destructive, in which by means of fear and ignorance the masses are controlled, nothing new, same ol same ol, and my mother’s background in this culture had blinded her to many opportunities and chances to grow in her life.
-lost in circumstance:
life as a woman in the culture of Iran, going through the revolution and a narrow choice of lifestyle inside her Islamic culture her root code for reaction was a feeling of being lost in circumstance, having lost the will to change.
-her husband:
living with a dead man, caused her to slowly gain his qualities, bitterness, anger, self-inflicted pain and suffering, all band together to wire her into the classical “defense against the world” mode, where change is not appreciated.
3-my role as her child:
-the sticking glue of the family:
when I was born, through all the conflict and difficulty of life, I was the glue that kept my parents together, both having the sense that, with this child we cannot go our separate ways and must make sure he grows into a functional person.
-recognition of my curiosity as high IQ and genius:
early in my life, my curiosity was mistook for “our child is a genius” theme, I started speaking at 6 months mark, little words here and there, and started walking with no help at 12 months mark, which to my parents was divine sign that they must stick together, this continued as I learned to write and read 2 years before attending school and their desire to send me to a private school, where from the age of 7 I would begin everyday (except Fridays) at 8 am inside the school to 2:30 pm.
-introduction to internet at the age of 11:
when I was introduced to the internet (having had a PC from the age of 6 and being a total gamer) my journey into independence began, I would sit in my room for hours on end without speaking a word, reading and watching endlessly, the age 11 to 16 was the phase where I forgot my parents and to be honest, did not care if they existed, which sparked their paranoia of losing me, their son who they held so dearly.
-learning English and discovering spirituality:
at the age of 13 after watching endless hours of English media, series and movies and anime, I learned to speak and read simple English, which opened up the doorway to searching English words in google, you’d be surprised how that can change your life, my first introduction to spirituality was a blog which mixed Buddhist teachings and Jungian psychology (which I was unaware of both at the time) as their weekly posts, after obsessing over the blog I started reading any Farsi books on the subject, which eventually led me to start reading English text for the lack of good content in the Farsi literature about eastern philosophies and spirituality, this only meant furthered alienation from my culture and my family.
4-an undeniable truth:
-“our son is onto something”:
my parents reaction to my extensive studies and obsession with questions such as, what Is my nature? Who am i? are my beliefs wishful thinking or truth? What alternatives to life can I find?
-the phase of denial:
my parents, staggered by the speed in which I would leave their reality, started their journey on a downward spiral of denial, which started by never taking younger me seriously and advanced into later stages of calling the little guy names, such as stupid, crazy, deceived, a waste.
-stumbling upon shinola within the realm of “SHIT” far as the eye can see:
at the age of 16 I met this amazing girl, which aside from our romantic relationship introduced me to Terence McKenna … anything I had read, anything I had studied, was light years behind “divinity in flesh”, the psychedelic substance, the magic mushroom, having discovered this exotic, magical and hyper-real dimension of existence, I could not contain myself, in the eyes of my parents, their child was a chain reaction of maddening change, speaking of things unimaginable! This was only an start on the most difficult experience of my life, “growing up”.
5-stages of revelation and the ripple effect:
-in my mother’s perspective:
most of the recent years in the family, spontaneous revelations of truth were completely denied and ignored, except for the last year where my serious use of psychedelics and hence their son’s sincere change with lack of all bullshit began.
-in my perspective:
my journey began as a young 13 year old boy, covering meditation and yoga, psychology, lucid dreaming and astral projection, logic and philosophy, medicine and biology, discovery of the psychedelic realm, chemistry and learning on drugs, refinement of the mind by indulging in mushroom and cannabis cultivation, and the true work, remembrance, were stages I experienced throughout these years, which eventually led to my mother and many other people becoming involved in “the work”
6-the unheard evil of silence:
-the young generation’s take on the matter:
having experienced firsthand the reaction of younger people that lack the skills to introduce their parents to their discoveries and removing their outdated and ignorant patterns of thought, ideas as “somethings are better left unsaid” or “parents don’t want to know” and beliefs such as “parents can be closed minded individuals who will never accept change” which all band together to create the evil reign of silence, one of the most important stages of the psychedelic work is to refine and heal your damaged relationship with your parents, you can see people who have years of journey under their belt and still struggle with their situation relating their parents, the mentality that showing this undeniable, absolutely crystal clear sight of truth to your parents is impossible is the root cause of this sad and unfortunate consequence, where we live in a world of generations running from each other, fearing the realization that, they are all the same.
-the older generation’s take on the matter:
being old, having grown a family and worked a job, having a model of how the world works, is the main barrier between set in stone personalities and fresh juicy flammable identities that seek change in their life, and you know who has the highest chance of bridging that barrier? FAMILY, you and me, we are their children, they are our parents! Fathers and mothers! Flesh and blood, and we the children set our journey to introduce loads of other people to this wonders dimension except our own parents, if there was enough space for drama in this post, I’d say this is betrayal!
-what is to be done?
now that I’m done taking a piss on public view, which is a passion of mine, what is to be done? The answer is very clear, no sweet words and seductive sentences and strategies will help you challenge someone’s core belief, if your very existence doesn’t defy said belief, that is to say if you grow so much in your life, having become loving and at peace, having let go of your own bullshit, having become humbled and responsible, specially responsible! You “are” the undeniable truth in the flesh! Then yes, its time for sweet words and seductive sentences, subtle hints and humble transition of knowledge to your parents, and this will work! There is no “too ignorant to understand” there is no “too late for them” there is no “I’ve tried and it didn’t work”, these are all desperate tries to run from your own sloppy behaviors, is it going to be easy? Of course not, is it going to take years? Of course it is, but it is doable, and in the end, there will be nothing left to say, there will be only praise, to the grand scheme of the world.
7-relationship between alienation by truth and anger in society:
-personal growth and ego:
between sanctioned life in society, personal space of mind, and the conceptual truth, and the actual truth, there are boundaries that will grow restless overtime as ones experience and knowledge of each of these sections grows richer and clearer, for example the boundary between personal space of mind and the actual truth will upset the conceptual truth pre-defined in the mind and the upsetting of the conceptual truth will upset sanctioned life in society, this chain of events is the mainstream effect of early awakening in individuals that have just gotten started and have some work to do to refine their life, and the work is the dissolution of these boundaries, if you dissolve the boundary between actual and conceptual truth, they become the same, and if you dissolve the boundary between personal space of mind and truth, they become the same and eventually, when you dissolve the boundary between your mind and your life, they become the same(no, this is not the book “secret”), so the dissolution of boundary is the answer, not stroking the ego which ends in whining and complaint on the situation of the world and your life.
-root cause of anger by personal growth:
the root of anger in an individual who is having new experiences in the theme of self-exploration and growth, comes directly from the “fear” that their true self is hypocritical, hence that feeling is mirrored to society and the world, which the proper response in the eye of the individual is anger, anger towards themselves seen in others, so by nature when this is acknowledged one can move on from this masturbatory mentality and start their real work.
8-the “I’ve had enough” attitude:
-honoring your impulses:
there comes a time for anyone exiting an ideology, where they hit “I’ve had enough” and intuitively trap these ideas that expresses a unique style of action to take, that shows very clearly the fact that, “they have had enough”, and ironically these impulses if taken action upon will state very clearly that you don’t want to live like you used to and the public opinion that “they know what’s best for you” will be demolished, because they don’t want to deal with you anymore, you know?
-keeping it civil:
its true that some impulses like, going naked into the forest or doing radical things end up “radically” changing people’s lives, sometimes for the better, but if you have any hopes of introducing your parents to this dimension you might want to steer clear of such impulses or at least keep them in a private circle, timing is key, you can share these after your parents have entered this realm and shed their fear of the unknown so you won’t be damaging your chances.
9-clash of fear and experience:
-the absurd escape from the event of experience:
the very interesting phenomenon of abrupt aversion when one offers their parents to “experience the psychedelic journey”, an amazing phenomenon that you’re likely to encounter while you try to introduce these experiences that are available at anytime and anyone can do them, is the sudden aversion of an individual’s mind to any interest in trying these things or more clearly “acknowledging that this is possible”, this is most likely rooted in the escapist mentality that’s held so dearly by the masses, personally I’ve found no instant method that bypasses such a thing, there will be resistance in people who don’t really want to accept this part of reality but as far as undeniable truth goes, keep reminding them and it will sink, guaranteed.
-to back off or not?
everything is nice and cozy until your parent accepts to undergo the psychedelic experience, now here as the introduce-er you are partially responsible for how the trip will go, many people under the fear of consequence cling to the idea that their parent’s experience must be positive and pleasurable, so they either lower the dose or go to extremes and paranoid lengths just to ensure this, and some back off, saying if you want to you need to go seek it yourself, which as you can see isn’t very beneficial to the cause, this is to be avoided, you need to understand that the journey doesn’t need to be positive or easy, many people forget that however heavy the pressure, the traveler will come back in one piece (considering they come to terms and accept themselves).
10-true growth
-separation of wishful thinking and mindful thinking:
a large barrier between growth and masturbatory work is the very childish quality of wishful thinking, to assume growth instead of having manifested it, often avoided fact is that you cannot help people grow if you’re only assuming to have grown yourself!, preposterous indeed.
-ambition or ego stroking?
often in the psychedelic community people strangled in philosophies as “doing too much is just a waste” or “this dosage discussion is becoming a penis competition” escape the possibility of greater journey by pseudo-mature culture of the psychedelic community such as considering lower doses “safe dosage” and trying to control the experience as much as they can, while in many situations a heavy dose is what’s needed to kick someone back into gear, you know?
-learning to detach from opinion, even if its well put:
often beginners and less likely people with much experience get caught in the net of external opinion, personally I’ve expressed uninformed opinion in some situations that later turned out to be something else than what I imagined, for example back when one of my good friends had begun a phase of IV tryptamine administration and tripping very regularly (multiple times a week) I started trying to talk him out of this practice, which later turned out to be rooted in my paranoid sense of safety reflected on the practice of my friend, having never considered that he might actually know what he is doing, and all speculations aside, in the end said practice landed like a feather where it belonged and delivered its message.
-dirty secrets of the psychedelic community:
many people consider the psychedelic community a friendly semi-innocent culture that doesn’t have any agenda other than the good of all people, well that’s simply wrong, its crystal clear how ideas like extreme safety precautions are implemented trying to avoid problematic reports of psychedelic substances and a better chance at legalization of them, people seem to forget universities back in the 50s and 60s were full of people who would take lsd and go around interacting with everyone else, teaching classed etc, and the use was very open, less anxiety filled and influenced by control freak ideals of the current psychedelic culture, creating a dam over miracles of this magical dimension, in other words the philosophy of “meet it head on” of the courageous is replaced by the “go around it” of the cowardice.
-fundamental similarities between the psychedelic community and feudalism:
anyway.
11-correlation of speech craft, prefrontal cortex, and psilocybin mushrooms
-early signs:
back from a generalist approach into field experience, for anyone who might want to be a representative for the plant teacher, you need to learn nimbleness, slyness, you need to understand as long as you don’t bypass people’s guards and use their beliefs against their defense mechanism your radical behavior and claims won’t be accepted, this is very important as you need to craft your words and sentences as if its art, and that won’t be possible without practice and use of the dearly held, magic mushroom, as you know many studies have shown focus of the mushroom trip to be the prefrontal cortex of the brain which is related to speech and coherent thought, which makes the mushroom an exceptional candidate for such practices as introducing parents to the psychedelic dimension.
-understanding the difference between amazement and acceptance:
in the beginning, when I had gotten the grip over speaking, I would amaze myself and those who had already converted, but for a while I would avoid the fact that this quality of amazement will not be the quality that convinces anyone else, because in amazement there is ambition, but in acceptance there is sincerity, so you must refrain from amazing your parents where they need acceptance, in other words, time your method to fit your situation.
-understanding the temptation that comes with speech craft:
once an individual is skilled in speech, there comes a time where you might want to abuse such skill, trying to manipulate while you must liberate, its good to understand that manipulating people to undergo the psychedelic journey won’t be what you want, if it doesn’t further the problem it won’t relieve it either, so honesty between yourself and the audience is essential, In other words : stop lying.
12-the path of least resistance, subtlety, honesty, sincerity:
-subtlety:
the culture programming of the mind, feeds on simple and crude ideas and words, that is to say whatever guard and wall is built around a person’s psyche acts as a fire wall for pre-defined words, which are crude and silly ones, that is why complex speech and subtle tone, is key to bypassing such firewalls, in other words its to hack a mind, and that’s why its in everyone’s benefit if the hacker is well developed and agenda-less.
-honesty:
the funny thing with truth, same with peace, is that if you try to lie in order to show someone the truth, or start a war in order to create peace, you will fail, because upon manifestation of truth in any form your hypocrisy will be put on a pedestal, and all you made will be lost.
-sincerity:
confessing your own mistakes, bringing yourself down from a high horse while trying to introduce your parents to psychedelics, or anyone really, is key to practical result, for sincerity is that which actually works.
13-the anvil of the cosmos:
-the moment of truth:
there will come a time where your parent has accepted to experience what you speak of, and you must be there for them, they take the substance and let their guards down, and you should too, don’t be freaked out to see the people who raised you and took responsibility for you in so many years, to be children, and to be so young inside, that is what humanity is, a young spirit.
-not getting trapped in petty doses:
its true that its best to begin with lower doses of the substance, but make sure just because this is your parents you’re not putting the cap on the potential of a dose raise, you might not believe it but sometimes, the dose makes all the difference.
-to dance, and to praise:
make sure that when its time, you and your parent, will engage in praise of this miracle, for a new age has begun.
14-the aftermath:
-my mother’s situation now:
in the past year, after having 3 mushroom experiences, in the order of 1.5grams, 3.5grams, 5grams, she has radically changed, she doesn’t indulge in past memories anymore, no more complaints and isolation, back into the world, doing yoga and changing her diet, being more open in her everyday life and overall happy, and looking forward to her next experience having remembered the finer aspects of life.
-my take on the matter:
I believe if I hadn’t done this, it would forever haunt me, as much as I’d like to see myself separate from my parents, I’m not, and having them familiarize themselves with dimensions of my life has only helped both parties, it’s a miracle you know, there’s a world of difference between isolated people and loving families.
last words? I have nothing to say, praise
