Hi guys,

I’ve done 4 sessions this 2 weeks now.

First session: 3g rue, 5g passionflower, 8g Chaliponga. 3x30 min boil in in slight acidic water ( Ascorbic acid) filter through metal coffee filter, then filter through funnel with cotton ball.

Onset 1.5-2 hours.
Duration 2-3 hours.
The experience was wonderful, just slight nausea in the beginning, purge on the toilet and I felt newborn and was crying of happiness and love. Green and yellow fractals and entities I barely could make out. They showed me love and it was just amazing. I felt so good after.

Second session: 15g Chaliponga, 3g rue tea at 2p, 3 g rue tea with the brew at 11:30 pm. Same preparation as first session.

Onset 10-15min
Duration 5 hours+

Terrible nausea, dark red and blue thunderbolts was flogging and punishing me during the beginning of the journey, the dark red entities called me a layer as I did not tell my wife about my session. Went into the bedroom and told her as she noticed it was not a normal mushroom or LSD session, I didn’t want to worry her but they forced me to tell her straight away and I had to, I just wanted the flogging and nausea to stop. It got slightly better after I’ve told her. But still severe nausea. Wanted and tried to purge but couldn’t get anything up or out the other way.

I was angry and annoyed they way they treated me and I asked why I was treated this way, I didn’t get any answers, just more flogging from fire and thunder. I gave up, I told them they could have me and do whatever they wanted with me, this didn’t work either.

So i started to fight back, I demanded to see my dead son and after a long fight they did let me see and talk to him, during this short interaction with my son I had no nausea, everything was quiet and beautiful. It could have been seconds, minutes or hours I don’t know but when this was over it went straight back to extreme nausea and I traveled and ended up in an even worse place somewhere up in the sky/space. I didn’t know if my eyes was open or closed, it was just a mayhem of dark blue and white colours and it felt like I was on a never ending roller coast, I don’t know what was up or down.

When it finally started to ease I checked the time and I’ve been travelling for over 5 hours, I could barely make it to the kitchen, but I needed water and food. After food and water I started to feel more normal again, but I felt that I’ve changed and I would never bee the same again.

I’ve felt empty and confused since, I needed to go back in again, I don’t give up and I don’t let anything treat me badly for no? Reason, what did they try to teach me? Why did they hurt me this bad the second time?

Third session: 5g Chaliponga, 3g rue, 5g Passion flower, some organic cannabis 10min before the drink. I needed an allay to combat the nausea and entities.

Onset 10-15min
Duration 1-2 hours.

Again terrible nausea, went between anxiety and slight joy throughout the whole journey, impossible to purge.

Did not get any answers the third session, just more questions.

Fourth session: decided to do one more session which was identical to the first one in preparation but with yellow Caapi instead of Rue. 8g Chaliponga, 50g yellow Caapi, 5g Passion flower.

Onset 10-15min
Duration 3 hours.

Terrible nausea and anxiety during the beginning of the journey, I had 1000 different voices/entities chatter in my ears, red flashes and patterns, tried to just lay still and
breathe and gain control. It didn’t work, it really angered me, tried to purge but couldn’t. Decided to give up and just let it happen as I knew it would be over in a couple of hours. I lay in the sofa twisting and turning being flogged and hit by nauseating attack’s. After 1 hour I smoked some organic cannabis and it eased the nausea and I could start to work with myself and try to ask the plants for guidance and I had a really good and informative comedown.

I don’t see any of these as bad trips, I don’t believe in bad trips, you get what you need from the plants. But I still can’t figure out what they tried to teach me the 2-4 journey. The nausea was so overwhelming so I had a hard time trying to comprehend the experience. I had similar diets all sessions so I can’t figure out why I felt so nauseous. It didn’t feel like physical nausea, more like a weird mental nausea.

I’ve decided to take a long break from Ayahuasca now and rebuild myself, I don’t have anyone close to discuss this with so I hope you guys can give me some input.

I feel empty and lost, I have a lot of anxiety and I’ve lost interest in everything.

I’m going back to my normal routines tomorrow with nutrition and exercise to try to distract my brain so it can heal.

Wanted to share and write to see if I can get some relief from my journeys.

I don’t regret doing Ayahuasca, I did prepare both mentally and physically. I used traditional incense sticks before, during and after and traditional Icaros healing songs.

Anyone else who has experienced this or something similar?

Safe journeys.

/Y

I have to respect that kind of perseverance

It sounds like you had some rough sessions but you have a great perspective about them. I think your decision to take a break will be a good one. I would highly recommend starting again with MAOI only mixtures, and see how it goes. Pay attention to what MAOI combos are giving you more or less nausea. Higher levels of physical discomfort/unpleasant stimuli increase the risk of unpleasant, dark, and horrible visions. So give that a test or two on its own if you want.

I would highly recommend testing different mixtures for your DMT component. Chaliponga, chacruna, ACRB, and DMT will all hit differently. They are like different flavors, so they are different and similar for everyone at the same time. I have heard that chaliponga leads to darker, more ominous visions for a lot of people. BUT, it doesn't seem to hit like that to me. Chacruna is the most popular and traditional. I personally really like to mix freebase with a plant such as chacruna or chaliponga. My most wondrous visions came to life under the influence of DMT + ACRB, but I have decided to stop using it since there are certain darker aspects to it that I just don't want to deal with anymore. But anyways, switch it up! See what you like and don't like.

All of your experiences were using chaliponga, maybe you should try a different light source as I've heard and read several things through the years that suggest chaliponga has a darker nature to it. As 'westernized' psychonauts, I think we tend to impulsively look for that higher content or percentage, but quantity is often at the expense of quality and I'd bet this particular pursuit is no exception. If that fails to change the experience for the better, then be prepared to accept that it (ayahuasca) may just not be the right tool for you personally.

Edit:
I remember a discussion by Aldous Huxley about rats who had their brains wired to stimulate their pleasure/pain centers, and the ones that were wired to stimulate only the pleasure centers would endlessly press the bar to receive the stimuli, while the ones that were wired up to stimulate both pleasure and pain would hesitate, but they still would hit the bar, albeit far less frequently. Don't know why really, but your post reminded me of that. Perhaps they (the ones wired up for both centers) are seeking novelty purely for novelty's sake, and continue to do so despite the known and anticipated consequences.

Hi and thank you for your reply.

I’ve had rue tea up to 6g and no nausea, I’ve chewed up to 6g rue and no nausea.

I’ve had Caapi only tea, 60g Caapi and no nausea.

I’ve decided to micro dose Ayahuasca and I brewed a batch yesterday with 5g Chaliponga, 6g rue, 60g Caapi and 10g Passion flower. I did the Chaliponga separately and just the smell of it made me feel really nauseated, so I don’t know if it’s psychological?

I had 1/20 of the brew this morning and I did feel slightly nauseated for a couple of minutes. Other than that I’ve just had positive experiences today micro dosing.

I won’t do a full dose of Ayahuasca now for a while as I did get what I wanted from my rough journeys.

I’ll probably try Caapi and Chacruna next time.

/Y

Thank you for your reply.

I could only source Chaliponga this time, I will use Chacruna next time.

I’m very happy with my journeys now, I got what I wanted even if it was taught in a rough way, every day now I feel better and more complete.

/Y

One time I accidentally mixed spice in the device that had previous used with cannabis concentrates. The result was utter nauseating. And I never mix the two together at the same time ever. Again, I think people's brain/body wire differently and cannabis mix with spice just does not do it for me. It could be helpful if you can do eliminations and test which combination cause the discomfort.

I find chacruna dark, and chali the epitome of Light, love and bliss. It all depends on the leaf you're working with.
My friends who have tried the same chali tell me it's the best medicine they've ever had.

I wonder if it is the traces of 5-MEO that make the difference?

I don't know about traces of 5-MeO (there is no consensus on the Nexus that it does indeed contain them), but this chali feels almost like pure, extracted DMT, whereas the Hawaiian chacruna I've been working with is more 'characterful'; some aspects of that character I like, but it can be nauseating at much lower doses (in terms of perceived strength of DMT effects) than the chali.

That's interesting. You'd think that with the relatively clean alk profile of chacruna it would be much more similar in effects. I'd guess that there is something in at least one of these plants that makes the difference though.
In terms of cultivation, chaliponga is one of the hardest plants to acquire I've come across. I finally found one source in Peru that sells live plants but the price is staggering and I just couldn't bring myself to getting it but it's one I'd like to add to my collection eventually.

Someone one here grows it in the US, so I hope it spreads there eventually.