Since childhood, I've been fascinated with science and mathematics. As soon as I became aware of psychedelics, I was fascinated. At eighteen, I knew a fair bit about them, and had my first encounter with LSD. It had a noticeable impact on issues I had been having due to a long history of trauma from growing up as a clumsy, gay kid on the autism spectrum. This led to a period of enthusiastic experimentation, including a number of extractions carried out after building confidence studying organic chemistry informally on my own, and then formally in the laboratory, with the works of Alexander Shulgin as supplementary material, which I used to review the contents of my textbooks.

These experiences changed me in an overwhelmingly positive way. Body image issues were addressed, my academic passions increased, and a love for horticulture emerged. I've devoted most of the last decade of my free time growing orchids and various plant oddities. I don't think I'd have reached the kind of understanding of these plants as quickly without the lessons I took from psychedelics.

As the years went by, psychedelics and I grew distant, not for any particular reason besides the fact that it became more and more difficult to make the time for them. But with those years came new stresses, and, as I'm sure many here can relate to, fear about the future of the planet, grief from friendships cut short, and new wounds from watching this pandemic unfold.

My mental health deteriorated to an alarming degree, I wanted to revisit the psychedelics that helped so much in the past, but for a long time, I was paralyzed by fear.

With the support and encouragement of my partner, we drove ourselves and our dogs to a secluded cabin and spent the Christmas holiday there. We each prepared a mushroom tea and took turns sitting for each other. Since that day, my darkest thoughts receded and I feel far less disabled by my mental state. I can't believe I delayed this for such a long time.

Since then, I took the time to extract some very nice DMT, and experimented (very successfully!) in preparing it as vape juice. Now, I'm looking to the nexus for advice in extracting from cacti for an experience I've always wanted, but never had before. CIELO Tek is the plan for this weekend!

Welcome my [new] friend.

I have learned more from using psychedelics than any individual person.

And I feel you on the being paralyzed by fear. Despite my psychedelic history, I have been experiencing this in varying degrees for the past several years. It taught me there are some deep seated issues with my relationship with myself that need to be addressed (because my fear is truly unfounded; I literally cannot actually justify it).

Your story is beautiful and I am happy for you having found these powerful tools.

Have you tried DMT while on mushrooms? It's pretty amazing.

One love

Hello and welcome! Thanks for sharing the outlines of your story.

If some of those oddities weren't Trichocereus cacti, you'll be wishing that they were!

CIELO is the right place to look for making a cactus extract - but have you ever tried plain cactus tea from fresh cacti [as opposed to dried material]?

It was great to hear how the mushroom session benefited your mental state. I believe that undertaking the physical journey to a carefully selected and special location enhances the positive effect of focused intentional psychedelic use. IME, it's those kinds of times where I've derived the most benefit too - perhaps because it shows intent and commitment by you, to you, for you.

Fear like that is understandable. I've felt it too. It can be so hard to understand when we're in the thick of it. Psychedelics allow us to look at it from a different perspective and remind us of the beauty of the world, as well as healing these things in other distinct ways when used with due diligence.

See you around,
df0

Thank you! Glad to be here!

I do have a (probably incomplete) idea of why I have been anxious about psychedelics. For the last few years, the foundations of my depression have changed. The stressors that drove earlier episodes were internal. Solutions to those came from personal growth. These days, the issues are all external, out of our control. I fully believed that the absence of a solution meant I was stuck with the way I react to them, and for that reason, was guaranteed to have a very, very difficult trip.

This led to my original intention to find a place by myself and take it alone. I had been masking the growing severity of my mental health, and I was afraid to subject him, a man with very little psychedelic experience, to all of it at once. We grew the shrooms--they sat in the freezer for a long time. I never did make those arrangements, though. Was too tired and too afraid. Can't thank him enough for taking the initiative and providing the encouragement I needed to drink that tea.

I'm glad that it happened the way it did. Nothing like I feared happened. It was an overwhelmingly positive experience, and I'm thankful my partner was able to see that transition. I think it was a major relief for both of us, and brought us closer.

I get pre-flight anxiety when it comes to smoked DMT too, but it is of a different nature. More like what I'd imagine a bungee jump is like. Sometimes my brain, or my body is just not up for the intensity.

Back in the day I had a few experiences with homemade harmala alkaloids and DMT, those were by far my favorite DMT experiences. Unfortunately, bupropion precludes repeating it.

I haven't mixed DMT with mushrooms or anything else, my only mixture experience was a single time combining MDMA with LSD, but now that I have a vape tank full of the stuff, I hope to try on my next trip! Not sure when that'll be though, hopefully soon! I prefer to get away from the city for this kind of thing, so the commitment goes well beyond just the 6 or so hours of effects. That cabin was the perfect place, gotta get back there.

I do kinda wish they were! Going to seek some cuttings. To date, I've focused mostly on humidity loving plants. Lots of weird-shaped orchids, bromeliads, carnivorous plants, crazy prehistoric looking fern relatives, massive stinky-flowered arums. If you have any suggested Trichocereus cultivars, I'm totally open to suggestion!



I haven't tried making a tea, definitely will if I start growing my own

In fact, this will be my first adventure with cacti, period. For this time, I was eager to revisit chemistry. It's been a while--my path led me to software instead of the laboratory.

Did a trial run of CIELO this evening with 25g and I'm feeling very good about it! Went with the slow crystallization. Can't wait to see how it looks tomorrow

Definitely, it makes all the difference. I needed that reminder. At one point in the middle of it, at sunset, I turned to him to comment, "This is the first time I've been able to really see beauty in years.. I should probably stop staring at the sun though"

Sorry I can't suggest any trichocereus cultivars as mine have all come to me without those kinds of names. Lovely, kindly people have simply given me the majority of the best specimens in my collection, certainly the ones that I've tasted, and they themselves mostly didn't know the cultivar names either (with the exception of one botanist who either didn't tell me or I wasn't listening ) Sooner or later one or more of the more together cacti buffs will chime in, I hope.

Got my fingers crossed here for your CIELO and looking forward to some shiny crystal pics

Gotta love those kindly plant sharers, they're the best. That's how I got my start with some of the more finicky plants I wouldn't have had the confidence to buy outright.

Will update on the results as soon as I can! The work you all have done here is incredible, read the entirety of that thread and subscribed for updates. Many thanks