The last of a series of 18" Bridgesii trips.

This one had a different character to it. Less visual. More spiritual. I made peace with God. I'm not angry at God anymore, like I had been for a long time. I made my peace. Feels like I can move forward in new and positive ways. God can do anything. God is not done with me. God has a plan for my life. I saw that clear as day in this trip.

It started out as a very heavy, drunk feeling kind of trip. Felt straight out drunk for hours. Heavy. Couldnt see right. There weren't many visuals. But everything just looked STRANGE. People's faces looked odd and bulging. Now and then I would get hit with waves of extreme heavy drunkenness. Time would slow down and my visual field would start to break up into vertical lines bulging up and down vertically, from people's eyes and noses and teeth and chins and anything else pointy or prominent in my field of vision. All of the sudden I would feel so drunk and heavy headed. Then it felt like time was slowing down drastically and objects in my visual field would start to get pulled up and down into vertical lines. Its hard to describe. This went on and on for hours.

After that I had overwhelming feelings of well being that kept washing over me. Thats when I started to think about God. I read the Bible. Hebrews chapter 3. Kept reading through it slowly. And listening to Bob Marley. And smoking lots of good weed. And I made peace with God. I put my anger behind me, for Him taking the ones that I loved most. My dearest friends. Its been years now since they have been gone. And I finally forgave him for it. And we made peace.

I felt emptied inside afterwards. In a good way. Like everything had been poured out. This is an exciting new chapter in my life. And I am still making sense of it.

Bridgesii is an amazing ally. His nature is to be very generous. He is so powerful. He could break my mind and heart into pieces. But instead he helps me to see more clearly and find healing. Bridgesii is incredible.

Congratulations on making peace with your higher power, my friend. I know how difficult it can be to get over that hump in life, but once you get there, you feel so much better.

I have been there before, but I am currently in another situation where I am questioning things. People say that God will not put you through anything that you cannot handle, and hardship is meant to make us stronger. That being said, He likes to pelt me with things I can barely handle, putting me into a low point that takes me weeks to months to get out of.

Sometimes your mind and body feel so heavy because of this. I am sort of living vicariously through you, right now. Reading your words here made some of that heaviness melt away. It will likely be back very soon, but thank you for the temporary relief you have given me here. I truly hope that you are able to continue on with this mindset, and I truly to know how you felt.

Blessings, my friend.

Thanks ShamanisticVibes. I hope that you find strength to get through those challenges. Life can be really hard sometimes. I think that feeling at peace with God can play an important role in feeling at peace with life in general. I know that often it has felt that way for me.

For a long time now I have been thinking about God. And that has been intensified a lot over these last 8 days. It can be difficult to differentiate what is the true nature of God from what is just cultural baggage. The Bible feels like a mixture of divine inspiration and ancient culture. It can be very challenging to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. And it can be frustrating when the chaff sometimes seems to outweigh the wheat many times over.

As I said above in my first post, I am still thinking these things through a lot and making sense of it as best I can. But my understanding has been evolving in this direction (especially since the trip): I am coming to believe more and more that God is the intelligent consciousness of the universe. I believe that an innate characteristic of the universe is that it is conscious. It is conscious and intelligent. This aspect of the universe is what I believe "God" to be. God did not create the universe. God does not exist in some distant realm that is apart from the universe. But rather, "God" is a property of the universe. God is the universe's intelligent consciousness.

And I believe, in the deep trance like states that are brought about when we ingest psychedelic compounds, that our minds are opened and tuned in to be able to interact with God. Not in the direct way that you and I are now interacting with words. But rather through the re-wiring of our neural networks in ways that better align our intuition and thought processes to be more in line with the God consciousness of the universe. In whispers and fantastic imagery and mental rejumbling we are realigned to be more in tune with God. And sometimes it is even more than that. Sometimes it is almost as if God is shouting at us and saying, "Look! Look here at this! I'm showing you something!" The openness to receive these messages and be re-aligned comes from the ingestion of psychedelic plants. They make us much more open to God, so that the interaction can happen. That is why all the religions were founded by people who had deep visionary encounters with God. And that is why when the plants and visions were prohibited, the religions became spiritually dead and devoid of God.

There is much more to it. But roughly, this is what I am coming to understand.