So the more I read about DMT trips, the more I hear about people who have encountered clowns/mimes/jesters/jokers. While in real life, I am usually quite comfortable around these things. Problem is, I am terrified of them in my dreams and have had some really weird real-life encounters with them.
It started in my childhood. I would commonly have dreams of the Clown(always the same one, or at least a visual clone of the original) who would chase me down and tickle me until I woke up crying. In retrospect that might be hilarious, but it was absolutely terrifying for me. He would appear in the most random of dreams. Of the times I can remember, here are my encounters:
This dream would re-occur with slight changes. I would be reading a picture-book in a dream and find a picture of a clown inside. I would suddenly have the complete understanding that if I put the book down or looked up, the Clown would be standing in front of me. Eventually, I always looked. He would have that malevolent smile on, rush up to me, and tickle me until I woke up.
Once, I was playing with a nutcracker in a dream, in my old kindergarten classroom. Some kids would come in, play with toys, and leave. At some point, the Clown came in and started playing with some toys. I knew when he noticed me I would be doomed. I hid under a table and waited for him to leave. He walked around the room playing with toys until he got to my table. He stopped there and stood for a minute without playing with any toy. Just stood. All I could see were his legs. Then he looked under the table, smiled at me, and tickled me until I woke up screaming.
Once, he chased me across my gymnastics gymnasium after an initially-wonderful dream of a giant foam-pit and DZ: Discovery Zone-esque tubes. I managed to escape this time, but only because a noisy crow outside my window woke me up mid-chase.
In real life, I was at a parade, and a single clown was walking in between two marching bands. When he got to where I was standing, he rushed over, waved his arms frantically at me and laughed maniacally before running back to his place in the parade. My friends (who knew about my phobia-esque relationship with clowns) and I were totally stunned.
There were more dreams, but I can't remember them clearly. It happened over a dozen times.
In recent years, I went to a "Haunted Forest" on Halloween. One of the buildings I had to walk through was a trippy tube with a guy dressed in an evil clown costume at the end hiding behind a wall. For whatever reason, this clown didn't bother me one bit. And it was meant to be frightening. This made me believe that I had possibly overcome my fear with age.
...
However, I'm entering hyperspace soon... and these clowns are always described as "having their own agenda" or "not there to help" or "I wondered if they would turn on me." So... I'm getting a little nervous. I figure I'll just meditate and block it out of my mind before taking my first step in. I'm relatively sure I will be able to do that. But... any advice? I'm not sure how I'll react if I see the Clown in hyperspace. That would be terrible.
(I realize this all sounds a bit ridiculous, and I rarely admit weaknesses of any kind... but I figured what the hell)
He led a double life. Did that make him a liar? He did not feel a liar. He was a man of two truths. - Murdoch, Dame [Jean] Iris
Kartikay is a character role that I play when I feel like escaping reality. Nothing I say under the pseudonym "Kartikay" reflects any of my actual life or personal history.