it would be so easy for me to go ballistic right now...having been where i just was and seen what i just saw. part of my challenge in the telling of this experience will be trying to maintain a sense of calm...

inhale.

exhale.

smile...

having lost fear of death is a powerful key. it is shiney and golden and opens all doors...my truest self....the "observer eternal", already knew this...and since that is all that i am and i will ever be...i proceeded without blinking.

VAPOHUASCA is what i have decided to call my favorite way to enter the link-up. a strong, ayahuasca-strength caapi brew about 30 minutes prior to a large (.05-.06) lungful of vapor.

gone for at least an hour....for the first journey....gone for another hour immediately upon return.

i cannot go far enough fast enough now. i am fearless. i see that we are all like cups full of "knowledge"....the more you can "empty" yourself before going into the flow, the more you can be "filled" with awakening, transformation and healing.

the work HERE is the hardest part!! "un-learning" is a bitch....but now that i know what the reward is, i couldn't strive towards this with more intensity.

a dose that would have at one time made me have to go take a terror-dump before vaping is taken in like water through a nautilus' shell....i am a vessel...i am pure consciousness....the removal of fear is the final key to a complete transformation within me. i have the skeleton key to all places now...

my entry into that world from this feels like a shedding of a heavy backpack. i'm home now. my cup has never been so empty....i am thinking of nothing....

NOTE: WHAT LIES BEYOND THIS POINT IS PROFOUND AND VERY VULNERABLE OF ME TO SHARE. I CANNOT "NOT" SHARE THIS....BUT IT IS HARD FOR ME....EXTREMELY....

about 7 years ago i was engaged to a wonderful woman. we lived together and shared our path. after a year of being together we conceived a child. i am crying as i type this to you all as the weight of this is almost unbearable. she was confused and unsure....i was as well but was also committed to taking responsibility for what i was a part of. the choice was given to her as i felt it was her body and i had no right...nor desire really...to suggest she do anything that might harm her. i told her that whatever she decided, i would stand 110% behind her. i would marry her THAT day and be the best father i could or i would hold her hand and be with her through every step on a different path...

after painful days watching her struggle with such a choice, she decided to take the latter. i put my emotions on ice and became the rock for her to hold on to during the most emotionally wrenching storm either of us had been forced to weather...

i was hollow from this experience. for years. it began an odyssey of introspection and emotional processing that will forever leave a mark....like a fold ironed into a sheet...smooth...but never quite right....

i am flying through the geometry faster than i ever have before. i am light....not just light in weight, but a vibrant light....i am traveling at the speed of myself now.

home.

everything stops and it is so still now....it's never been like this....i can look at things directly now and they do not morph or leave. i am IN this world. and it IS a world where i am now. beings everywhere....machines....ships...and yet there is a similarity to our own world....something...but i can't place it. i am in such a vehicle now. i've never been so happy in my life...my daughter is sitting next to me...

i am with her and the love i feel for her is beyond absolution..tears are streaming down my face right now....i cannot express this....this is too much for me....she is so beautiful...she lives here. she is growing up in THIS place....she is taken care of with so much love. it is as if we have been together her whole life...no longing...no questions....just recognition and love. she shows me her favorite candy bar...it has funny monkey faces on it...and writing...

I CAN READ IT!!! it's definitely a foreign language, but i can make sense of it....i've been spoken too for so long i am starting to understand....i am being allowed to "look" at things now..

....and be spoken to.

i am in a city and it is SO advanced beyond our own....yet....there is a connection between these beings and us. ...the same beings i have been meeting for some time. this is no carrier wave i am presented with. one person is addressing me outright. the language is so complex...but i think for a moment i can understand... at the same time i am being allowed to "learn" this way of communication, i am told (in the way we are all most familiar with in hyperspace....) that i am "seen" and "welcomed" and it is now time for me to have more of an active roll in my learning...

this is the single most incredible thing i have experienced with DMT to date. this was more than entity contact....this was what comes after a "rite of passage". it could only come with the complete transcendence beyond fear. this much i KNOW as gospel.

the caapi brew is such a big part of this.....it allows me to stay for so long.....and even after an hour, i was only just "here" enough to find my VG and take another massive leap into the great unknowingness.... working with the spice in this way has all of the benefits of both a vaporized spice joureny (the immediate departure/surrender) and an ayahuasca journey (the soul/duration). long live VAPOHUASCA!!

i know i've been tapping out some long ones lately....i just happen to be going through a period of growth and expansion that i feel i HAVE to share...we are all waking up here...the world i went to.....it's as real as here....even more so in that it has evolved past form. it only "looks" like a world so that i can understand current lessons.... yet at the same time, i am more than aware that everything i am "seeing" is simply atoms being held together by consciousness...in time, i will be able to "interact" while being in a formless reality...

that's many grades ahead of me....for now, i'll just learn what's being taught....

SO MUCH LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!

Antrocles that was absolutily beautiful...I feel feel like crying.. so happy just knowing that there are ones like you out there..

You are definatily a shining light my friend..dont ever loose that.

Not just a pleasure, but an honour to read. I like that you provide almost a log on what it is to work with a substance, rather than one off moments in time. It's a relationship.

You're words are so very touching and as equal as I like to maintain in my opinions on folk, you're one of my favourites.

Bravo

I feel as though a part of me went on your journey as I read further into your writing. I could notice an amazing amount of heart centered love pulsating brilliantly in me. It is oceanic...

Truly speaking that which is finite is infinite,thus, there is no time or space between us all. That is the Grand Illusion. Very few people ever get such an experience who even meditate for years. The truth is, even levels are maya because you are already the Soul who appears to be on a journey letting things go! Put that one in your pipe and smoke it my brother! Thank you for sharing that love-filled journey.

Blessings,

GD

Thank you for sharing antrocles.

You seem like such a humble and generous soul. Its always a pleasure reading your posts.

awesome man - just awesome.

I've re-read this post about seven times now and I'm still speechless. You must keep sharing this antrocles.

Thank you.

Very intriguing adventures of a dmt veteran. Beautiful as always.
Thx man you got me wondering : )

Wow man, you are quite a vivid story teller, it's amazing that you are even capable of showing us a glimpse of your adventure, and you actually did.
It reads like a movie script, Blueberry ayahuasca scene style.

What an emotional rollercoaster, i hope this journey helped you out to process some of your inner sadness, not that i think that you are a sad person, quite the opposite, i think you are probably one of the most humble and happiest people i "know".

Thanks for sharing this.

CONGRATULATION.
the dreamer broke through!
to be honest: when i broke through, when the morphing colored visions slowed down and STOPPED morphing, when i went through the veil (and i did it only one time up to date...two months ago during my last journey...), when i saw WHO IS the creator of this morphing colored chrysanthemum i used to visit in my previous spice-dreams,
it scared the shit out of me (sorry, i find no better words....).
i did not expect "something" like THAT.
never!

completely amazing ant.. THANK YOU!

its just hard to explain how much this touched me now.... You describe it so perfectly, its like, one can see your history, your emotions, your spirit, and at the same time one can perfectly picture hyperspace, and all the mystery and yet all the sense. And the whole stuff about your daughter, wow! Keep going, brother! iamusweyoumeALLANDEVERYTHINGENDLESSENDLESSNESS

Keep on "tapping out the long ones" my friend! Such a way with words, such an ability to describe! Thanks for sharing, I always love reading your reports.

Wow. You are, without question, the Dalai Lama of Spicetown. I half expect to find you levitating six inches off the floor everytime I knock on the door.

do work son

Tears to my eyes. I am filled with love for this community. Keep up the amazing posts antrocles.

amazing read. keep sharing brother.

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So much hope!


Thank you!


Namaste,

J
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So,when does your book come out?

But,seriously you should write one.

Spiritual Warrior, homage to your journey, wish-fullfilling blessings to your goal

OF

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!