Hey everyone,

I'm so glad I found this forum. I'm new to dmt and have only my own experiences to compare to. I'm so amazed at what I have encountered. My main issue though that keeps preventing me to go any further i want to share to see if anyone else has had simular experience. Just being able to discuss this finally is such a relief. So I did 20 mg first dose and had decent experience, then a couple at 50 mg with life changing encounters. But my major problem is trusting the experience. I felt as if I was being beamed out of my apartment and actually felt myself rising up. Everytime at some point i open my eyes trying to see where i am. And its as if telepathically the entities sculd me for openingg my eyes and trying to see them. And then the mental torment starts. I felt like my head was in a bee hive. I felt the buzzing all around me. Then when it started to wind down I felt the love and acceptance again. Like they were trying to teach me somerhing. Like when a parent scoulds you then feels bad and loves you. I have interrupted the last 3 experiences by feeling afraid and opening my eyes. Everytime which they get upset and it destroys the contact. Anyone have similar experience or advice. This is so life changing yet terrifying to accept all at the same time. Any help, advice, or shared experience I would really appreciate input. Thanks for reading I apologize its so long.

DMT, is definitely a vehicle.
To really gain from your journeys, take the content of the experience seriously.
I mean, technically.. the dimensions you travel to, are no less real than the one you reside in.

No need for apology, it's not like you wrote a wall of text. We all like reading about others' experiences, I think.
So, thanks for sharing your story, and I hope you tell more in the future.

One of my co-conspirators, with whom I explore, likes somewhat smaller dosages only, so that he can keep his eyes open and walk around and enjoy the visions that way.

I also happen to love my open-eyed visions, but I'm going to contradict that statement right now.

While I haven't felt a 'scolding' or 'disapproval', sometimes I feel I short-change my (much) deeper experience by opening my eyes.

It's been awhile since I've used a blindfold (what do they call it, a sleeping aid, I think?) Just something to cover my eyes so I have to make more effort than just opening them. Anyway, I've quite recently been thinking about using it again.

I'm quite certain I've read other people use a 'blindfold', maybe that would help you?

As far as 'trusting the experience', in my own experience, I know 2 things beyond question:

1 - no matter what, I absolutely must trust the experience. Always.
2 - no matter what, don't trust the experience. Never. Ever.

That's just how DMT is for me. Odds are, your mileage will vary.

Good luck, and thanks again.

Thanks for the response thats what i love about this sight. Being able to share and compare experiences. It is such a unique substance to learn from. I might try the blind fold and see if that helps. I'm only on my 5th journey so its all very new, and it makes you see there is so much about being human that we yet understand. I hope to continue to gain insight and learn from this amazing experience. Thanks again for the responses and sharing your experiences as well that's aewsome.

I think you answered your own question to be honest. Take a deeper look at what your were feeling. Go into that. Look at it and really try and answer it for yourself.

Why would you feel scolded like a child for opening your eyes? You mention the fear comes in when this starts. To me that is the answer. Fear. What are you afraid of exactly? I am sure it is something highly personal. I feel like if you can answer this question, you will attain a greater idea of what drives your fears and why. You might find a very strong you standing on the other side of that question. It can all be so overwhelming and terrifying. It can feel like chaos and infinity and just so much all at once. Allow it to be what it is. Let go into it and feel what you need to feel to get through it all. You are stronger than you may think! You can handle it and pull something from the chaos. It is there... look for it.

I am glad that when the chaos of it all started to wind down that you found love and acceptance! What a wonderful feeling that is! Who was giving the love and acceptance? Please attempt to answer this question for yourself. This also is likely highly personal and will provide you with something to hold onto next time you venture into the chaos.

It's not always chaos. It not always love and acceptance. It is whatever you need at the moment. Maybe you needed a scolding? Maybe you needed love and acceptance? My money is on that you needed both. It was provided for you! What a gift!!! Give gratitude for both I say! Always grateful for the lessons received, no matter how harsh. It truly is something amazing!