So after some reflection let me tell you all a story.
Firstly a little prelude; Sometimes life goes past and you just get on with it without even acknowledging your own efforts. Sometimes things just need to get done, so it seems. And you do them. My life recently has been non-stop and I am making changes to align myself to get what I want (I am a firm believer we solely create our experience). Things like conscious living, sustainability, mindfulness, empathy and compassion for all things. Modern life makes this somewhat tricky and it appears I am often going against the grain of society, but to me it is that society is going against the grain of nature. We are nature.
I have a beautiful girlfriend, a beautiful 3 year old daughter, and a beautiful 1 year old son. I have gone back to college to completely change career and become a carpenter. My days are currently spent supporting a company that is completely against my beliefs. I start at 4am and finishes at 2pm, then play with my kids as soon as home until college which finishes at 9pm and I'm usually asleep by 10pm and then starts over again. Not every night, but most.
My girlfriends Mum was recently diagnosed with Parkinsons and just in the last month we have been in battle with a garage that completely ruined our main car (although after a month of being at loggerheads with one another,they have finally admitted liability and will fix it by the end of the week, no charge).
This last month particularly has been tough, as all this has meant rearranging things and we already had zero time to ourselves but we just got on with it and I am not one to really whinge or complain and my girlfriend would say I hold things in and let them build up inside me, it would seem perhaps the mushrooms would agree.
So life is rewarding yet stressful for us at the moment. And now the shrooms:
So lemon tek didn't exist when I last took shrooms and thought I would give this a go. I weighed out 3 grams of Liberty Caps, ground them up and added to water and squeezed half a lemon into it. I had a salt lamp and log burner slowly glowing for light and 4 rose quartz crystals placed front back and side and fiddled on guitar to help relax me as I waited 15 minutes for the lemon to do its thing and then drank the lot.
So, the trip:
I sit upright in a meditative position and start my meditation with eyes closed (tummo has visualisation with breathing) and I feel good and relaxed. It took about 20 minutes for the first effects and I soon realised the visualisation was too tricky to maintain and went to a simple breathing meditation with a tried to maintain.
Now, about 40 minutes in and this is not how I remember shrooms being like at all. It is much MUCH more reminiscent of a DMT trip. It is a visual masterclass in fact. I usually have recreational, eyes open shroom experiences where everything is wavy, wobbly, bent angles and funny, mischievous, child like hilariousness. This was intense, sharp, serious, hyperspace awareness. Not quite the same intricate details and not the same 'space' but very close. It didn't have what I call the DMT purr or the feeling of being watched, but the shroom consciousness was definitely there. The visuals are very hard to explain, but it was like a huge cathedral made out of empty space that got sliced into thirds where the top and bottom would spin in opposite directions so if I was at the front I was now in the middle and that would make DMT like columns and ever more complex room, which would get sliced again and again. I was fully of colour yet somehow empty space at the same time.
I wasn't expecting such insane visuals as was searching for an inner journey of myself, which I did get and perhaps this slicing was cutting through the barriers of myself to get to my core. I remembered my girlfriend wanted me to ask the shrooms their purpose, so I did at this point and got a very definite answer of 'This is not the time to ask such questions, there will be other times for that'.
I forgot to mention I put on Robert Richs Nest, which served well until this point. Everything became somewhat dark and murkier, even sinister and the music became very alien and strange and I had to switch it off. I kept getting reminded to keep my breathing going and the next 20 minutes were tough, uncomfortable, negative energy. I did not enjoy it but confronted it as part of me. There was something to clear here. I laid down and rode through it with the intense visuals and a feeling of sickness but came out the other side elated. I believe the recent stresses of life were blocking my essence and the shrooms absolutely saw this as a problem and cleared it for me. I got a feeling they were working on me.
The rest of the trip was euphoric and much spent lying on my back stretching my legs and being fascinated how parts of my body fitted so well with other parts, particularly sides of my feet. I discovered the mushrooms are very much in the now, in the moment and it is us that are not, but that world is always waiting for us to tap into. There was a sort of communication and understanding and contentness of all things and an ease of everything.
As things calmed down though, there was a moment where I was somehow able to see myself outside of myself and realise everything I do. It seems so simple but it was really eye opening and made me cry. I work my bloody arse off for my family and I never praise myself for it or give myself a pat on the back for it, because I never even realised I needed to.
So I was looking for an inner journey and the journey was I really need to appreciated myself a whole lot more, not like ego, it was beyond that. A self appreciation, not that I have been beating myself up, but I haven't acknowledged who I am. I have become almost a product of ambition and desires rather than just being.
Hmm, still much to think about but I feel refreshed and good again and using shrooms as a tool rather than for fun is a very different experience, or perhaps it was just a reflection of me growing up? It was like no shroom trip I've ever had before though and I think the lemon tek certainly made it stronger and shorter, perhaps 3 hours in total.
That was the jist of it I think. Peace to all
-- Psychedelics make people irrational. Especially those who don't use them --