Hello, Pandora aka Old Soft Cat. I wanted to thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my post and for seriously addressing some of the issues that came up on Friday. It means a great deal to me that you care about this community, even those who are in the margin. Please know that I was not aware of the ongoing situation here regarding identity politics—I would not have engaged directly in chat had I known (especially with “someblackguy” as the name, especially with a psychedelic drug in my system). Not knowing the situation had me thinking it was either an anomaly or specific to me—I see how my constant “seriously—what is happening here?” questioning, and confusion and frustration looked like trolling or prodding to others in the context of the chat culture here.
More helpful than a restriction of all new members from the chat, might be a more extensive and honest warning in the Attitudes section to alert new members to the culture of the Nexus chat. The only such warning is that posted by The Traveler in an item from last year regarding new chat guidelines:
Quote:"For a while I have been away from the DMT-Nexus, mostly due to me being way too busy with work. When I finally returned however and read the chat I was shocked about the topics discussed there.
The talk about topics that were so non-nexian worthy was stunning! The usual constructive talk about the things we promote as the DMT-Nexus were gone while talk about rape, violence, drug trading and obsessive and opressive talk seemed to have become the norm.”
The Traveler
"The norm." This is not the biased opinion of some new outsider with a political agenda, that’s the man (or woman)
who created the chatroom. If I had known or suspected that oppressive talk was common, “the norm” for the chat (so much that it threatens shut down that resource completely) I would have engaged the situation differently. I would have known that this is not a safe set or setting for me, and the situation would have certainly been different for everyone involved. Further I wouldn’t have been asking “What are we fighting about?” I would have known, and your job as moderator, for which I am thankful, would have been SO much easier.
I worry about the next person who makes the mistake of wandering into the chat unprepared for the situation of "talk about rape, violence, drug trading and obsessive and opressive [sic] talk.” What if they’re tripping or vulnerable and have “gay” or “asian” or some other identifier visible? I truly didn’t realize what was meant by “we don’t talk about race here.” What that meant was "We don’t know how to deal with that ongoing use of racially offensive language and we’re afraid that even
talking about the problem could get this resource shut down.” Finally the answer to my question: “What are we fighting about?” Asking the question itself (implying that there even is a conflict) became the reason for the "fight," and the angrier the room became in response to this "trolling" the more I desperate and freaked out I became: "Seriously, please just tell me what we are arguing about?" which in Trollish roughly translates to "I'm trying to provoke you, get you banned or censored, and/or ruin this resource for everyone." The guideline was stopgap for a situation that had gotten out of hand long before I arrived. Even if not intended to blur distinction between "oppressive talk" and "talking about oppression," in effect that is what happened, leaving no avenue for dialogue.
The difference between "rape" and a discussion of rape is very clear; the difference between "drug trading" and the discussion of drug trading, also pretty clear. No one would mistake an act of "violence" for a conversation on the topic of violence.
But in a situation where there is less ethnic diversity, the line between "oppressive talk" (calling someone the N-word) and "talking about oppression" (telling someone not call you the N-word) is the difference between language that makes people very uncomfortable and language that makes people very uncomfortable. That is, no difference at all. If I'd known that I would have simply stayed silent; I surely wouldn't have tried to reason it out or asked others to explain what was happening. My doing so became the thing that was causing the feedback loop of stupid. How could I know that I was asking a question without any possible answer but more escalation? The closet that anyone came to explaining the situation was the when someone said, "We don't talk about race here."
It's sad, but perhaps that should be the guideline: just "No Race." No Race rule means both "No overt racism ("niggas" are ok, but those "-ers" are trouble)." It means "We can't help the attitudes here but it's not a huge problem, for us. So why is it for you? Be a sport about it or leave." That policy would certainly keep people like me from making trouble here. In a "No Race" situation you could ban the “black” right out of someblackguy while appearing politically neutral, heck even progressive. A name like that is just asking for trouble when people "don't believe in race." I find that very few people who claim they don't believe in race actually apply that disbelief equally; they tend to find some races more... "believable" than others.
The Nexus community needs help with this problem. The Traveler's post was from last March; this hasn't gone away. This space is not the same as other online chatrooms because of the real possibility that someone may be harmed or traumatized when under the influence of psychedelics. The situation is reckless, dangerous, and someone could get hurt. You need to engage these discussions as a community. A vague policy against “hateful speech” doesn’t explain what could happen to someone who goes into the battle zone thinking its a lovefest, or a safe place for assistance with a difficult experience. It’s not. Not yet,
but it can be. But "not talking about race"? Not having any real top-down address except censorship, banning, or shutting down the chatroom is apparently not a way to fix the problem—it passes the blame in the wrong direction. So now I get to deal with everyone’s “liberal censorship” angst as if I were taking down names.
I don’t go into every situation dragging racism into the conversation. But I would never presume that it was "the norm." How can that be?
Shutting down the conversation shuts down the possibility for a solution. You can’t just pretend that it suddenly becomes an issue when someone black enters the room: the "What were you wearing?” question posed to sexual assault victims follows that same reasoning. This is dangerous, particularly given the cultural situation of the Nexus chatroom and the very real likelihood that vulnerable young persons, or someone who is having a psychedelic crisis, might seek help or community here.
Brandon Carl Vedas (April 21, 1981 – January 12, 2003),
Brandon was 21 years old. On the night of January 12th 2003, Brandon, a member of another psychedelic forum shroomery.org, logged onto the IRC chat where he was known to his fellow forum members by the screen name “ripper.” Brandon died that night. He died of an overdose of the multiple drugs that he had consumed over the course of his time in the chatroom. The transcript reveals that other members of the room were in communication with Brandon during the hours he spent consuming what was a fatal combination of pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, and psilocybin mushrooms. The chatroom members watched as Brandon took a massive overdose of these drugs via his webcam, some members even goading him on as he did. As the log reveals at one point Brandon became unresponsive:
[05:06] <Oea> he can't talk?
[05:07] <Smoke2k> I don't know he just mumbled into phone something like fuck that and hung up
[05:07] <Smoke2k> but he was working on vpn
[05:07] <Smoke2k> I guess lol
[05:07] <Oea> he hung up??
[05:07] <Smoke2k> hes prolly goin to black out again or something
[05:07] <Oea> uhh
[05:07] <Oea> if he blacks out
[05:07] <Oea> he is gone
[05:07] <Oea> u kno dis?
[05:07] <Oea> he will cease to breath autonomically
[05:08] <Smoke2k> what does he list his last name as?
[05:08] <JaP> uh
[05:08] <JaP> is ripper dead?
[05:08] <Oea> yeah
This first known death of a person broadcast live on the internet happened there in the chat room of a forum dedicated to the topic of psychedelic drugs. He after died telling everyone there what he was doing. wiki:
"When Vedas lost consciousness, users of the chatroom considered informing the police and asking that they trace Vedas's cellphone in order to locate him. However, the members of the channel were hesitant to contact the authorities for fear of involving Vedas and/or themselves in a police investigation. According to the chat logs, one user had even called 9-1-1 and asked the group if he was doing the right thing. After an emphatic "NO" response from another user, the user said "I talked my way out of it." and claimed that the police told them that there was no way to find Vedas with the information available. His mother discovered his body in the afternoon of January 12, 2003.
According to Vedas's brother, the information Brandon gave to the users in the chat, as well as the address in his domain name registration would have been enough for the police to locate Brandon, which he confirmed with local police. Later, Vedas's brother said about the incident, "It seems like the group mentality really contributed to it. These people treat it like somehow it's not the real world. They [the members of a chat room in his online psychedelic drug community] forget it's not just words on a screen."
(wiki)
This is the extreme case, and I'm assured there are safeguards against that kind of event here, but that dialogue about net community and the attitudes on display in online drug culture is still unsettled—let it not be silenced here in the one place in the online/entheogenic world where it should have begun.
Some of the tone and culture from that chat log are all too familiar. I have attached the transcript of the Shroomery chat from that night. Perhaps that will give some perspective of the stakes and the responsibility of assuring the space that you have set up here is safe, not just censored. It's not just a chat. That's the thing about psychedelics: nothing is "just" anything. There is meaning there, a bigger reality than the self, and a call to action. You are called to act. I am more than willing to be of any assistance in helping fix this situation in any way.
Moving the Traveler's warning to the Attitudes section would be a good start—it certainly would have been an easier way to answer my only question: "What is going on here?"
Best regards.
Spellbreaking is the better part of alchemy, extraction, and the art of undoing—but a cocksure kind of lovingkindness, a clockwork clock, works time.
Nakhig lo shulun, Sharuku! Gorz nash!
“Where is your master? Where is he?”
Mig shâ zog... Undagush! Nakh
Atigat iuk no lighav wizard...