The Burial

So, a few years ago, my dad wanted to make a new driveway. We dug out the existing driveway, which left quite a trench in it's place. We had a cement mixer deliver us a crap ton of cement, which we piled on some plastic sheeting. I was carrying a wheelbarrow of this stuff to the trench. And I stepped on a hoe. Much like Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake.



The handle hit me right on the temple, and I fell in the trench, face first. The cement that I was carrying poured all over the top half of my body. I was completely dazed. Luckily there was a small air pocket that kept me alive for the minute that I was under. When I regained my senses, I started laughing while under the cement. I managed to crawl out of the trench, almost completely drenched in cement. Took my clothes off and took a shower. No one was none the wiser. Everyone happened to be somewhere else when this occurred. To this day, I can't believe it actually happened.

Bullet Time

When I was in year 8 (8th grade for you Muricans), our entire year went to the Snowy Mountains for 3 days. Before we left, we had to choose whether we wanted to go skiing or snowboarding. My cousin hurt his knee really bad from skiing, so I opted for snowboarding. When we arrived, we were separated into groups of 15 or so and we got a crash course in basic snowboarding. When the instructor asked me to stand on the board, I did. He said I was natural-footed. There's either goofy footed people or natural footed people. I was one of the few naturals. So when the instructor said I was a natural, I took that as "Bod, you're ready for the Olympics. Go on son!". I was so ecstatic about being a natural. I thought I could snowboard anywhere. I didn't know that the term natural doesn't mean skilled. It's just a means a certain stance. After the basic training was finished, the instructor said we can roam around anywhere we like, except up the hill. It was called Gun Point or something like that. Instructor warned us specifically "Do NOT go up Gun Point. Only professionals go there."

I didn't care. I thought I was a natural. So without even trying to snowboard properly, I took my board off and charged straight up Gun Point. I should mention that before that day, I never snowboarded. Ever. Once I got tired of climbing the hill, I put my board back on and got ready. It was really steep. The adrenaline was pumping. As soon as I started sliding down the hill, the first thought that came to mind was "Maybe I overestimated myself". But I got to breakneck speed really fast, so I dismissed that thought and entered some sort of zen mode. I became attuned to the board. I saw every obstacle, and expertly dodged everything, from trees to boulders. I wasn't thinking, I was just doing. It was like bullet time. I was in the zone. When I finally got to the free roam area, I was going really fast. Then suddenly, I found myself in the air, flipped three times and then landed on my face. I was completely dazed. I lay there for 10 minutes thinking I just died. When I finally regained my senses, I got up like a drunken sailor aboard a ship in the middle of a cyclone. I lost my balance and fell on my face again. I lay there for until my head stopped pounding. I got up and looked behind me. It was a small mound of snow. I guess I couldn't see it since blends so well the the rest of the snow. I took my board off, and walked to the cafe. Had a nice hot chocolate, and I was back on the board. Suffice to say, it was quite the reality check. No one knew what happened. I was expecting to have my ears blown off by the teachers, but they were too busy having fun. Good times.