I just smoked the last of a beautiful batch of changa I made, I gave some to some friends and i just sat by myself and smoked the last of it.

The experience was of course and as always mind blowing. But The last few trips I have had I feel like I could let go of this reality, time, darkness, light, gravity everything we know.

I feel like I could just be my consciousness and be with god, through doing this I would lose myself I am sure that, me in my head and the things I like here are just a distraction from this.

But i see the light coming from me on to who I love, My family my friends and my daughters.

Looking at a picture of my daughter I realised why some people say we are god, I am god. I created her life her consciousness came from me and her mother so I felt like I really understood this concept. her consciousness was not spawned from nowhere it was created by myself and her mother.

I felt the darkness that is the illusion that we live in, but i also felt good in this reality too, now I don't know if this is what some refer to as "christ energy" and refer to jesus. and i'm not claiming to be religious but what I do know is that this illusion is a dark reality but god, the creator (the source call it what you like) is providing ways to help us, help us see the light.

I felt the humble sense of how every single thing has a reason down to the tiny atomic particles to the grand size of our universe. the after effects lasted for about an hour instead of checking out things in this reality and being amazed at them i spent my time meditating and asking myself questions. I felt i got to a point where I need to teach my loved and close ones to meditate so they can transcend with me. I feel like I no longer require this reality to be. it's a scary things to let go off but i can feel other consciousness are there too.

another thing i felt whilst there is that there exist consciousness without intelligence, but I feel my path is to just become consciousness and co exist with god. whether through living my life and dying or through a DMT breakthrough and not coming back i know that sounds ridiculous but I really feel as if I have a calling and can leave this reality for good. when I come back and seated into my body after several experiences now I feel that its a pretty close feeling to what "dying" would feel like, maybe ive learnt to die whilst I'm still alive I don't know. But my quest for knowledge and understanding will always continue who knows maybe one day you'll read about me in the paper and no one will understand whats happened. if you do it because i've left this reality for good.

peace

p.s. when I say I feel like I can leave this reality behind I really feel like I could but I also feel like I need to spread the truth about our illusion so I can take everyone with me. unfortunately I feel like this is something that will not happen in my life time and that we are (I am sure many others feel the same before me) the beginning of a new change in consciousness.