Hi Nexus
It has been a while. Life has been going too fast for psychedelics recently.
Just wanted to post this - mainly for myself - but if it is of interest to anyone else then that is good.
I have a couple of bags of cubes (golden teachers), left over in the freezer from the summer. I decided to take a 2g bag (dried) yesterday to aid in a satsang/meditation.
I prepared my space, stated my intentions (To know what is true) and lit some incense. I then crunched and ate the dried shrooms - my favourite method - they are like little dried snacks.
I then put on a Mooji satsang (https://youtu.be/ntSgWktJ2nE)
Sat in front of Mooji, the shrooms came on strong. I wasn't particularly expecting 2g to be that strong - but I somehow knew that they would be. I always get the feeling that I am merging my conciousness with the mushroom - its like I invite the mushroom to express itself and share my conciousness for a while. I don't know the reality of this of course, but this is what it feels like. In this state it seemed easier to objectively observe what was happening - thoughts were easier to recognise as just impersonal thoughts, feelings as feelings - without any identity attached.
2g seemed like a good amount because I didn't get too confused.
I was confronted early on by a blobby like spirit behind my closed eyes. It felt challenging - but unable to affect me - unable to affect my awareness. We has some playful interaction, and I asked it what it wanted. It seemed to suggest that I was going to die of cancer - to which I replied that was OK and I didn't really mind - death is the contract of life.
This was all serious and totally un-serious at the same time. The mushroom seemed to find some 'serious' parts of my personality amusing. Or perhaps I was seeing them objectively and found it amusing. 'I am meditating, with mushrooms, in earnest - asking what is true.' a spiritual explorer - serious and totally ridiculous.
Mooji guided me into self-inquiry. And the mushrooms seemed to help me.
I found an awareness that seemed to be untouched and untouchable. Mooji suggested that this is what I am, what everyone is. And it seemed like he was right. Ego, thoughts & feelings, the hallucinations caused by the shrooms - all come after awareness and are nothing more than a passing light show. But awareness seemed primary and permanent. I was astounded and awed.
After the Satsang finished I was left in pure bliss. The shrooms were giving me faint images of the god head -it seemed like the source of everything. Some figures danced, faded, imperceptibly in the distance. I smiled and understood. It felt very similar to my experience with the god head on DMT - except less hyper real.
I thanked god/the spirits/my imagination and went to bed.
Today has been beautiful. Awareness is quietly in the background, untouched and untouchable. But is it imagination? Perhaps it will reveal itself further.
Ben x
Much Love <3 xx