I know this makes a difficult read. But i just had to share. It's hard to utter a word so i type it out. Human nature is to share, and thus i will. Much love.
After a good re-acquaintance with psilocybin that reconnected me with nature i was instructed to smoke some dmt tonight. It was best to do this naked, it said. So i took off all my clothes.
I weighed out a dose and realized i didnt have so much left anyway and i was nitpicking. Decided to throw roughly 70mg of dmt into my gvg. Just upgraded a bigger steel filter system so i was kind of anxious for the result. I expected a massive break-through.
So i prepared. Meditated and finally when my hands stopped shaking i lit up the pipe with my 1 Euro's worth bic lighter.
My intention in this journey was to make powerful allies
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Slowly puffed white vapor. Held in everything. Took one hit. Got scared. Took another smooth hit. Probably got about 20mg~ in my system. Maybe more. Not sure if my longs are very good at this.
By this time i was seeing feint visuals in the room. Feint hints of Terence's image. Divine blurs. Undefined lines, like an unfinished painting. I rarely get those hallucinations, so i knew this was different from normal. It is soothing tho. I love the futurism of these states. I feel highly anxious but not scared.
There where no lessons. Just a mind inside my head guiding me. A sense of an other but no speech. We understand each other. I know it's time to smoke more spice.
I feel courageous. Hit the pipe for the third toke. The glass was still hot. I can't resist to yell, FUUUUCK as i am recalling this... White vapor fills the pipe. Slowly entering my longues. Then i hear an omnious noise. The dmt was burning.. Harsh vapor enters my longues. "Oh noes. The voice says." "We could not foresee that happening." A "Glitch in the system" is what they called it
Humorous. I smoked the thick white vapor that was left in the pipe anyway. Harsh vapor i held in my longues.
I held it in.
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Inactive dmt mostly.
But i persisted. I was instructed to hold in for as long as i can. Only breathing out for miliseconds. Breathing in to stay alive. Dancing on the verge of actual physical death. Something very peculiar experienced to be happening in my body. Two entities meeting each other. Two entities that have NOTHING to do with me, A slight battle happened. The good conquered evil. Love overpowered the evil that was inside of me. Slowly the organisms merged together, without gaining much weight. The "DMT?" . An angel? Anyway.. It thanked me for my cooperation. Giving me the same love i was expressing to "the dmt" last time i smoked.
"The dmt. Or entity, i do not know what to call it. Perhaps my own kundalini energy?" .. Darn language. It obstructs me.
Anyway.. "the entity expressed a weakness in itself. It said, i will tell you my weakness for we are on the same level." I suppose i can't remember what it was right now because i was told in private. He/she doesn't expose weakness to many other souls..
I strained my energy/focus to intensify what visions i was having. Then i hear something audible. Different from the Buzzzing of innerspace. This was in physical space. Like a mini-earthquake. Things seemed to be shaking. Like a spaceship was slowly descending. I looked up to the ceiling. The hallucinations deepened. My ESP was receiving something huge. An enormous entity was closing in on me. I think my neighbour sensed it too. I could hear him turn over in his bed in the other room.
I thought it was rude to be so silent. So i said Hi. I asked what are your intentions? "I'm here to help guide humanity back on the path, reconnect with nature" ... "You are doing a great job as well, i know you don't like compliments. But i want to express gratitude to show you you are on the right" There is not much to talk about.. I ask "it" figuring.. Might as well ask questions now i'm in contact with a superior being. How can i get some rest/sleep? .. "Hah, you don't need much sleep. You need to play more in these ESP fields. That will help you rest" . Okay... well, thanks. Namaste. "Namaste"
Trip over. Slightly feeling ESP. I was still laying in my bed. naked and still. Looking around the room. My eyes still open WIDE. In awe at the magnitude of the spaceship thingy and the impressions it gave me. I thought it was gone.. I am glad i met the thing naked. Feel it is the purest way.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I was wrong. After some 10-15 minutes of contemplation. I decided to smoke again. And here's the real part. Harsh vapor entered my long. I puffed out a huge cloud of white smoke. Darnit, more wasted spice. Take another hit of dmt. I realize some kind of fractalism of all these events as i am writing this. Accelerated learning. This time i handled my lighter with care. Careful not to burn more spice.
again, about 20mg~ probably. Not more not less. My mind is unable to recall these events in much of a coherent chronological order.
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Something happened...
Remember my consciousness unwinding (Kundalini?) Energy at rapid speeds. A parasitic insect of sorts is noted inside my body. A sickness/bacteria. A fractal demon resides inside of me. Strong forces are at play that are NOT me. Two souls are battling it out.
The insect is evolving. Slowly turning into a snake. Noises all around me. The evolving didnt go 1-2. It came gradual like in nature. Bacteria and diseases circled in my body. Dreadful saliva started to form. Feeling i was going to puke up some giant jellied insect egg. Gurgled, even. Expecting the mystified and often speaked of multidimensional matter to come out of my mouth any second now.
But, i was to keep it all inside. Letting my body digest it all, or something. I had only the anchor of my breath (being expanded by the dmt) to keep me from losing it. At this time as dna was unwinding into a snake i heared a woman's voice as it was chanting poetry in a disquieting voice, describing the story of creation. Rebirth and the cosmological circle of the serpent. MY concsciousness transformed in that of a snake (not the first time). A snake.. Hissing loudly with pure HATE . Hatred for creation, hatred for god. Hissing... At god. And god returned the call. Look, son. There is beauty, there is innocence. Just look at this little boy here. Snake respond :"HisissSSsSSsss!" . Translation : "You ARE RIGHT. I THINK I BELIEVE YOU" . I say some words. "Yea.. Im an okay being right (Feeling a little uncertain)". The snake gave in.. It either disappeared. Into oblivion. My consciousness still circled at very high speeds in kundalini energy. I heared angels sing in the distance. Priests where rambling songs about exorcism. Don't remember the lines but it ended in something to the extent of "So now you have expelled a demon" But i looked up and sensed the super large organic spaceship was still with me. And it seemed to be sucking the demon out of me. (from my mouth if i can recall) The spaceship was the voice that i interpreted as "god" . I am fairly certain.
So my story ends.. Loads of saliva and bacteria accumulated in my mouth for the next 15 minutes. I let it sit there and swallowed all of it. waiting for the green clusters to die in the dangerous environment of my mouth. Trusting my enzymes/immune system to take care of it. Accepting all life forms as my own.
Thanks for reading if you did. Hope you gained some insight. Or atleast entertainment. Excuse my imperfections i am just a 21 year old human being. Influenced by Terence Mckenna.
Never really learned the attitude of grace