2.5 g Syrian Rue cold tea, & 15 mg DPT HCl. I'm not sure why it was *so much more* intense than 2 g Syrian Rue tea and 15 mg DPT, but quite possibly because I ate a bit of bread and olive oil after the Rue this time, which helped my body absorb it much more thoroughly. Or maybe the extra 500 mg of Rue made all the difference.
It probably could've been a highly pleasurable trip if not for the intense nausea. I was bound and determined to escape the sickness - two fingers down the throat is all I need to say. Sadly, it seemed to relieve me not, and I was stuck.
I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I observed my "fucked up" expression. I was almost uncomfortable with my own reflection, as if it were some second self, judging me in some way. I spoke to myself, and all I could eke out sounded like the tired whisper of an ancient man. I suddenly imagined the vast distances of space that spanned out in every direction. In that moment, it was all nothing more than an enormous trap. The perfect storm.
I laid down, and began what felt like an interminable ride on some sort of twisted joke of a roller coaster, imagined by pure evil. My psychological processes were
heavily affected. DPT had somehow wormed its way into my basic manner of thinking and perceiving in a very deep and fundamental way, and logic started to significantly break down.
Interestingly, I got to clearly observe the very phenomenon of psychedelics that I was describing earlier that day, which was the butterfly effect - a minor influence gradually developing and evolving within a system until it becomes a major transformation. Every time I had a thought, it would be magnified into the most extreme conceivable caricature of itself, so that literally every idea that passed into my consciousness gradually evolved into an unbearable chaos, until I "snapped" out of it, and the cycle would start again. For instance, I remember a thought about sex gradually turned into some sort of monstrous and demonic orgy that played out in my mind's eye, wherein everyone was screaming with masochistic painful pleasure.
On the plus side, it seemed that this painful process was at least giving me a very unique window into the cogs and gears of my mind. I was clearly observing visualizations of mental processes that normally remain hidden deep within the subconscious. Sadly, all logic and reasoning was so severely distorted that it was very, very difficult to retain anything sensible from the torrent of information. But, I do recall a couple of things. For example, I saw that, at least in some cases, this process of magnifying concepts to the extreme was a logical tool - I was instinctively using it in a process of
reductio ad absurdum. I was imagining the most extreme consequences of hypothetical realities, and if these consequences were clearly absurd and impossible, I had grounds for dismissing the hypothesis.
I also remember some cool visions of the future. I remember a vision of a man looking into a computer screen, and it was a database of all intelligent life in the universe that had managed to tap into "hyperspace", and thus become a member of the trans-galactic alliance. Humans had tapped into hyperspace through DMT, but each of the countless life forms had done so through some very unique means or technologies. The man was swiping his fingers across the touch screen, and scrolling through a 3D visualization of the universe, and each locale of intelligent life was highlighted with a bright blue spot in the map.