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I am 31 and wat is this? Options
 
od3
#1 Posted : 11/29/2012 2:35:54 AM
Hi Everyone,

I guess the reason I signed up here is because I really need to talk to someone who is experienced in this sort of thing. This isnt exactly something I can discuss with co-workers or the uninitiated.

I guess Ill introduce myself a bit. Im just a regular guy, I have a 9-5 working in an office (not totally as bad as it sounds) and I have lived in quite a few countries, and been to maybe 40 or so now. Im quite settled now, about to get married and I am honestly, totally chilled out and am always nice to everyone. Love dogs. All dogs. Amazing little creatures. Dogs are probably my favourite thing, after a honey badger or a chocolate milkshake.

I dont really do drugs anymore. Im old. (unless you count pot as a drug, which i only smoke now, every week or so. Used to smoke everyday for years) I first took acid about 15 years ago, and have experimented (a fair bit) with mushrooms and mescalin and a lot of other natural psychedelics. I sometimes go to bush parties and all that. Lots of smaller ones too. I thought I understood. I thought it all made sense. I thought I was A PSYCHEDELIC GOD!!!

Then...about 2 months ago, Just by chance, it ended up in my house, in a bong, in front of me. I didnt even have to leave the couch. That night, everything I thought I knew about a "true" psychedelic experience, and not just that, my view of reality as well, changed.

I dont know if this is the right section to discuss this in, but seeing as this place is called DMT-NEXUS and has loads of trippy artwork everywhere, I assume this is going to be OK. My apologies if it's not.

So, I hit this bong like it was my religion. I had read about DMT many times, and I thought I was pretty ready for whatever it was going to do to me.

How wrong was I. Before I could go back from my 2nd hit, the entire room infront of me collapsed like lego blocks, disassembling incredibly quickly and in an incredibly complex pattern that I could never describe. The blocks looked like they had symbols on them. Like an alien / mayan style hybrid of pictograms and symbols.

That was the first 3 seconds.

The force of the DMT knocks me back onto the couch and I close my eyes. What happened next, I have been struggling with for the last two months to even attempt to put into words. I felt a pop or rip when the force became too much and the next thing I was (no joke) in another univese. This wasnt like normal 3D universes. Everything was 4-dimensional. Have you guys ever seen a hypercube, or at least a representation of one (you cant see one in a 3D universe. Well, I could see it. And not just that. Everything was 4D dimensional. Impossible geometries. Things bending and folding into themselves (this this shit was as bright as day. The colours were all hyper-saturated and vivid). I was just lying there going: "OH...MY...GOD..", drooling out my mouth.

I have NEVER, EVER experienced anything like that. Or even close to that. The stuff I was seeing, was simply impossible. I was inside this massive sphere, made up of bright complex patterns. From my understanding. This "data sphere" is some kind of super advanced computer and I got the impression that this reality, or this dimension lays parallel to ours, but because we live in a 3D universe, we could never possibly perceive it.

Oh. And there are THINGS there. Like living things. They were watching me but not saying anything. They looked like almost your classic "grey" alien, but made out of bright lights and patterns. Its hard to explain. There were two of them.

At this point, I am almost having a seizure from the stuff I am now having to deal with. How is this even POSSIBLE!?!? The DMT universe may not be "techincally" real (according to science), but you better believe your a$$ the experience itself is VERY real.

Everything was moving so fast and everything was so complicated, that if i stared at something, I couldnt actually take it all in. Its as if I was limited by my brain to even perceive this stuff.

When I opened my eyes, it had been about 5 minutes. I opened them because I was like "EJECT!!ABORT MISSION!". It didnt really help. My visions pretty much again just disassembled in front of eyes. Infinite strings of Mayan Data code running though everything on this interconnected grid, that seemed to just run off into infinity at all angles at once.

I slowly came out of it and I was drained. It had been about 9 minutes or so? I got up and went outside away from my friends and just sat on the stairs with a cigarette, staring off into the darkness in silence for about 45 minutes. Dear God.

The intensity of the DMT I found for me (my first try), was impossible to "navigate". It was like being dunked by a massive wave in the ocean and you are tumbling in the water, not knowing which way is up or down.

There were times where I thought I might actually pee myself. Like really pee my pants. How anyone can speak casually about a DMT trip is beyond me. DMT kicked my balls off. Its not like anything in this universe. Its like experiencing another dimension (as in, spacial dimension. Like you get XYZ axix, but add another one to that (not time). It is simply unbelievable. Im not using that word lightly either. It is truly unbelievable.

I have since the experience, found myself much calmer, harder to annoy and even more focused.I thought the aftereffects would wear off, but those positive changes seem to have actually stuck. I find I even think about things in a simpler, more "building blocks" linear style and I have noticed a positive chance in my life and work because of this.

I dont know what DMT is. And, Im sorry if this offends anyone, but I dont think ANYONE could really understand it. It is just so many levels above what I understand and know that it seems like some kind of alien / godlike technology that we simply cannot fathom. A human being can not take all that information in. Its like infinite amounts of information. And you brain is just like "nooo! it's too beautiful!".

Anyway, I have rambled on long enough. I give DMT a solid 9.5/10 on my reality ballsack shattering scale. I took a half point off because there is a very steep learning curve that other more casual gamers might shy away from.

Seriously though. Wow man.

EDIT: Edited for Profanity. Sorry guys, I'm Australian. We are a crude people.
 
universecannon
Moderator | Skills: harmalas, melatonin, trip advice, lucid dreaming
#2 Posted : 11/29/2012 2:46:27 AM
an all too familiar tale! Very happy
(minus the honey badger part, although they are pretty cute)

anyways, welcome to the nexus!

stop by the chat sometime Thumbs up



<Ringworm>hehehe, it's all fun and games till someone loses an "I"
 
Swinjin
#3 Posted : 11/29/2012 2:58:35 AM
hello, od3. welcome to the Nexus! You have DEFINITELY come to the right place. I was very unprepared my first time as well. I have also noticed that since i have discovered this molecule i am less irritable. Do stop by the chat sometime. It's lots of fun in there!
 
Pandora
Welcoming committeeSenior Member
#4 Posted : 11/29/2012 3:01:56 AM
Hello od3,

Welcome to the Nexus. Thank you for that amazing Introduction Essay. Nothing offended me personally, nothing at all, but I do feel I should mention that the Administrator and others here kind of frown upon use of profanity and your essay uses it excessively. I know finding the vocabulary can be difficult. Sometimes a thesaurus can help. I would like to suggest in a friendly manner that you edit your essay for profanity. Very happy

I know how blown away you were/are. Just about all of us have been there. When I was a new Nexian I was 41 years old and though I had had some time off, I saw myself as (though not a Goddess) very very experienced. DMT blew that all away. DMT blew away close to 40 years of hardcore, card-carrying (LOL!) atheism in under 5 mins flat on the realtime clock for me. So, I suspect I and perhaps some others here, at least have a sense of what you went through/experienced.

It is called a breakthrough. It means you took a deep dive. It does not feel like a drug experience but more like a complete and utter transposition in time and space. Very few substances can produce breakthrough effects, most needing large doses, and none like N,N, DMT.


You have come to the right place my friend. There are a lot of resources here from the links above, including this https://wiki.dmt-nexus.m...h_and_Safety#Integration to the trip reports to the chat to the scientific research that may or may not help you to understand your DMT experience. Even if it does not, at least you will find yourself in a community that "knows."

So, I encourage you to take a good look around, read, read, read and research some more, post and participate and hopefully you will begin to make some sense of all this. Great to have you here and looking forward to your posts.

Again, welcome to the Nexus.
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


Hyperspace LOVES YOU
 
Bill Cipher
#5 Posted : 11/29/2012 3:23:16 AM
od3 wrote:
I give DMT a solid 9.5/10 on my reality ballsack shattering scale.

Seriously though. Wow man.


Yup. That's DMT alright. Take the 2nd hit and you'll go to 11. Manage a 3rd and it's somewhere around 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 on your 10 point ballsack scale.

Welcome to the nexus and to ranks of the privileged few.

 
od3
#6 Posted : 11/29/2012 3:53:08 AM
Thanks guys for the warm welcome guys. I edited most of the naughty words out. *doh*! Sorry!!! The curse of being Australian.



 
RayTracer
#7 Posted : 11/29/2012 3:58:58 AM
Welcome to the Nexus od3Very happy ,

It sounds like you had a classic dmt introduction. You don't find dmt, it finds you. I also believe you dont "do" dmt, it "does " you. Obviously everything in the dmt realm is subjective and these are only my opinions.

Awesome job illustrating your experience. I have experienced the impossible 4th dimensions of hyperspace (Escher cubes morphing in my palm happen a lot.)

I know that most folks in the West dismiss transcendental experiences as mumbo jumbo....chemicals affecting receptors etc. and that nothing is really happening. If that is the case, isn't that still a legitimate experience? I know that most of the things our 5 senses experience are dulled down and packaged in a format that works for our 21st century reality. Maybe dmt is allowing us to experience more of realityConfused Who knows really???

Your experience reminds me so much of mine. You sound like a kindred spirit. Glad your hereThumbs up

[]Deace
I am completely convinced that there is a wealth of information built into us, with miles of intuitive knowledge tucked away in the genetic material of every one of our cells. Something akin to a library containing uncountable reference volumes, but without any obvious route of entry. And, without some means of access, there is no way to even begin to guess at the extent and quality of what is there. The psychedelic drugs allow exploration of this interior world, and insights into its nature. - Shulgin
 
ipumaestro
#8 Posted : 11/29/2012 4:12:00 AM
the tendency to feel like a psychedelic god is common until you get hyperslapped into humilty. its truly a game changer

good read, and welcome
achuma puma
 
od3
#9 Posted : 11/29/2012 4:14:41 AM
Hey man, yeah and its true about what you say about it being a "Real" experience or not. The experience WAS real to me. Of that I am pretty damn certain. How else would these lingering memories and experiences of it be with me? And thats all you are mentally. A collection of memories and experiences. The effects are as profound (if not more so) than our own reality.

As as for seeing those 4D hypercube objects....how cool is that man? Its probably the coolest thing I have ever seen. The objects I were seeing were absolutely beautiful and so intricately detailed that it feels like its melting your brain simply by staring at it.

I think an important question is WHY can we experience this? What possible evolutionary need does this experience fulfil? Because remember, technically, we wouldn't have that ability if we didn't use or need it. That's how evolution is supposed to work. Our mind's shouldn't technically be able to do this, yet it does. A person could go insane trying to work this out.

Does anyone else think that it may be some sort of afterlife, or real higher dimension? Like you have a silver chord that connects you to your body, and you can "bungee jump" into it using DMT, but that silver chord keeps your soul connected to your body. When you die, that chord is cut. I dunno, but thats how it felt.

Again, thanks everyone. Its nice that there are people who can understand! Turns out, there arn't that many.
 
Pandora
Welcoming committeeSenior Member
#10 Posted : 11/29/2012 4:31:05 AM
The short and silly answer as to why is the rapid consumption of a high dose of an exogenous neurotransmitter.

The deeper answers have to do with specific brain receptors being stimulated and if I remember correctly (sorry about the lack of references here) a number of brain areas going into dormancy. Which is ironic because it feels like exactly the opposite.

As to how these states may or may not relate to whatever may or may not come after death, there's been a lot of speculation on that topic on this website. I know a lot of folks feel similar to the way you do. Many do not. There is a diversity of opinions. Needless to say, no one knows but we will all find out, Very happy.

I am just grateful to have experienced DMT breakthrough within my lifetime. What a delightful novelty and priveledge. How very different from my everyday life. Very happy
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


Hyperspace LOVES YOU
 
Infinite I
#11 Posted : 11/29/2012 6:09:10 AM
universecannon wrote:
an all too familiar tale! Very happy


Agreed, great introduction. Very familiar to my first time too and many others, I was in shock for months. I also didnt know anything about it and it appeared, hit that bong hard expecting nothing Shocked most here have done the same thing as you and art has a point it never really stops being shocking imo and welcome, this site to me is like a side effect of that shock Thumbs up
 
RayTracer
#12 Posted : 11/29/2012 6:12:02 AM

Pandora wrote:
I am just grateful to have experienced DMT breakthrough within my lifetime. What a delightful novelty and priveledge. How very different from my everyday life. Very happy


I soo agree Pandora. Not only did I get an invite to life, but I also got to hang in the VIP lounge for a minute with the Gods! Thank u CreatorBig grin
I am completely convinced that there is a wealth of information built into us, with miles of intuitive knowledge tucked away in the genetic material of every one of our cells. Something akin to a library containing uncountable reference volumes, but without any obvious route of entry. And, without some means of access, there is no way to even begin to guess at the extent and quality of what is there. The psychedelic drugs allow exploration of this interior world, and insights into its nature. - Shulgin
 
HippiePilgrim
#13 Posted : 11/29/2012 10:35:36 AM
od3 wrote:

I think an important question is WHY can we experience this? What possible evolutionary need does this experience fulfil? Because remember, technically, we wouldn't have that ability if we didn't use or need it. That's how evolution is supposed to work. Our mind's shouldn't technically be able to do this, yet it does. A person could go insane trying to work this out.


A really interesting question. My personal view is that maybe the evolutionary need is working in the opposite direction. Maybe there really are other dimensions /realities/ universes all around us and within us, but being constantly aware of these would make it very difficult to hunt, gather, build shelters. Being able to focus purely on the three dimensions and linear time of the consensus reality would have a big advantage in terms of survival. So maybe we have not evolved the ability to see the things that DMT shows, rather we have evolved the ability to NOT see them.

Without taking this too far, I wonder if this is what the story of the Garden of Eden alludes to. Maybe our true natures are divine, but we have become separated from this state, and evolution has embedded this separation, but meditation, psychedelics etc can open up our perception to something that is always there, yet lost to us. And maybe this is why so many people say that the experience is totally shocking and alien, but also somehow strangely familiar?
 
â—‹
ModeratorSenior Member
#14 Posted : 11/29/2012 11:07:59 AM
I love reports lke this. The enthusiasm in your post rings many bells. You have now 'seen'. Now you 'know'. A truly sacred mode of being that we've been gifted. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it, the heavy experiences such as yours. Any thoughts or notions one might have regarding an experience such as this just dissolve in the face of it all, for it encompasses it all..and then some. Rest assured you've only touched the surface of what is an infinite ocean of pure being...pure knowing..

Tat Tvam Asi
 
Enoon
Moderator | Skills: Harm reduction, Analytical thinking
#15 Posted : 11/29/2012 11:28:42 AM
beautiful report! It is an incredible substance, an incredible experience - so powerful and so... touching.

Welcome to the Nexus.
Buon viso a cattivo gioco!
---
The Open Hyperspace Traveler Handbook - A handbook for the safe and responsible use of entheogens.
---
mushroom-grow-help ::: energy conserving caapi extraction
 
3rdI
#16 Posted : 11/29/2012 12:15:12 PM
welcome to the Nexus od3

thats one hell of a baptism of fire, just the way it should beTwisted Evil. You have definitely found the right place, i look forward to hearing more from you.

od3 wrote:
I slowly came out of it and I was drained. It had been about 9 minutes or so? I got up and went outside away from my friends and just sat on the stairs with a cigarette, staring off into the darkness in silence for about 45 minutes. Dear God.


Laughing Laughing Laughing i remember this part of my first experience all to well, i just sat in the chair hugging my knees staring at the wall, i think my friend thought he had broken me.
INHALE, SURVIVE, ADAPT

it's all in your mind, but what's your mind???

fool of the year

 
Michal_R
#17 Posted : 11/29/2012 1:03:49 PM
Thanks for your report, I really enjoyed reading it.

od3 wrote:
I have NEVER, EVER experienced anything like that. Or even close to that. The stuff I was seeing, was simply impossible... At this point, I am almost having a seizure from the stuff I am now having to deal with. How is this even POSSIBLE!?!?


... Yep. Normal. Nothing unusual. Everything is as it should be...

But no, seriously: I wouldn´t have been able to express my own feelings better, after I landed down to Earth after my own first DMT breakthrough. I was 30 years old, born anew.

Very well written, thank you.
 
zombicyckel
#18 Posted : 11/29/2012 4:22:27 PM
Very nice intro and report! Very happy very welcome here
 
Mindlusion
Extreme Chemical expertChemical expertSenior Member
#19 Posted : 11/29/2012 4:35:35 PM
This is really a truly awesome report of ones first breakthrough experience, gave me chills down my spine!

od3 wrote:
"It was like being dunked by a massive wave in the ocean and you are tumbling in the water, not knowing which way is up or down. "


Glad you made it out OK, I mean, as OK as one can be after witnessing... THAT
Expect nothing, Receive everything.
"Experiment and extrapolation is the only means the organic chemists (humans) currrently have - in contrast to "God" (and possibly R. B. Woodward). "
He alone sees truly who sees the Absolute the same in every creature...seeing the same Absolute everywhere, he does not harm himself or others. - The Bhagavad Gita
"The most beautiful thing we can experience, is the mysterious. The source of all true art and science."
 
Botanical Bliss
#20 Posted : 11/29/2012 4:50:20 PM
I really enjoyed reading your report. Sure is a powerful little molecule. Very happy
[center]Sophia's Light

In darkest night, when lights are dim, and all in sight seems sad and grim,
I find you there, your arms surround me, your spirit fills me and it grounds me.
I look to you, Lady of Truth, most ancient One, yet eternal youth,to keep me safe, protect my heart,and with the wisdom you impart, fill up my empty mind and soul,so that, my Lover, you can make whole, all that was broken in this day –and that is what I ask and pray.
 
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