This weekend I took MDMA after a close to 4 month break after beginning to lose "the magic" of rolling, and the return back was far from nice..

*Sigh* the magic is gone for real, 130mg pure MDMA tested and all couldn't even get me 30 minutes of the old euphoria and love. Now I just feel amped up..

ANYWAYS

I didn't want to moap around all night because I always try to make the best of every situation so I went back to the festival camp sight and smoked some hash oil with my party.

This is where things get weird..

I tap into some kind of crown energy that's been floating around me all day and I'm having wonderful closed eye hallucinations! Cities, flowers, gears & cogs, light, beams and a spectrum of colors would flood into my vision from my consciousness at random. I very much enjoyed them

I also was so in-tune with the energy around me and in me that I could feel each of the seven chakra's pulling in warm energy and kind of churning around just outside of my body in a different plane..

It's awesome how riding vibrations & using substances can lead to such beautiful moments, love and light!

MDMA is such a wonderful drug, I'm sorry you've lost the magic.

If you're serious about wanting the magic back, I'd suggest taking a break for at least a year , two or more would be better. There have been studies with high doses of MDMA being administered to rats multiple times only to find serotonin levels had been reduced for time periods exceeding one year. With one single injection rats seem to recover from depressed serotonin and dopamine levels within 24 hours.

Hard not to abuse the love drug, I know, and there's a fine line between responsible and occasional use and abuse when it comes to this molecule.

Dude, part of me feels a bit responsible for this. In another thread some time ago you were asking how often was too much and I answered something along the lines of 'maybe once a month' - while this worked for me for years, there did eventually come a time when it just became a stimulant and all that lovely smooshy goodness was gone. If my advice in any way lead to the loss of magic then I am truly sorry

For me I can't take MDMA without knowing I have substantial amounts of cannabis to hand. I only take it 1-2x a year now and not in such massive doses that I used to, ~300-500mg in a night wasn't uncommon*

MDMA is similar to how you described it for me these days as well: "...couldn't even get me 30 minutes of the old euphoria and love. Now I just feel amped up.." - It is a shame really, but I kind of feel that this signifies an end of my relationship with Molly, and God knows there have been some peaks and troughs. I think ultimately for me, she got me on this path, but now we need to part ways in order for me to appreciate and grow from other areas of life. Maybe some day we will be re-united, but I don't regret one moment of my use and abuse, well, maybe some of the abuse, but not all of it

P.S. Apparently Ayahuasca is excellent for sorting out the serotonin receptors. Maybe that and a course of 5-htp or L-Trypophan are in order?

*I DO NOT CONDONE THESE SORTS OF DOSES, AT THE TIME I HAD A FEW EMOTIONAL ISSUES THAT MDMA HELPED, BUT ALSO LED TO ABUSING THE SUBSTANCE, WHICH LED TO FURTHER 'COMPLICATIONS' AND ABUSE OF OTHER SUBSTANCES - THIS IS NOT HEALTHY!

For sure my friend, I feel like our generation had to do a lot of figuring out this substance for ourselves because of the lack of SOLID studies and information that is READILY AVAILABLE to the public. I never felt like I actually abused the drug, but maybe I'm lying to myself. I'm not upset about the loss of fun, it just comes with the territory of my frequent rave and festival attendance.




I can say that me and you are 100% on the same lines when it comes to this molecule. You wrote earlier that you were worried that your advice may have steered me a wrong way but that wasn't the case at all so no worries man! I feel that this loss of magic does symbolize the end of my relationship with her as well, and I don't regret any of my use as it has lead to the most beautiful experiences of my life. For now I have no plans to go back to using MDMA, and will see where life brings me!

Ayahuasca you say? Hmm..never tried that yet, I would love to see what it can do for my being and physical body.