hey guys, i just wanted to quickly share a really beautiful and moving experience i had the other day. firstly a bit of background about my internal setting prior to the trip.

lately i have been feeling quite lonely and strongly yearning connection and love, but I have been afraid to connect because I haven't felt I am able to be completely transparent about my feelings with a lot of people. About a year ago i fell in love with a girl for the first time and the feelings and connection I shared with her moved me beyond belief.. in the end she did not want to end the relationship she had with her partner and this really upset me and made me feel quite lonely. I have thought about her pretty much everyday since then, and have had myself convinced she is the one and I will never find that feeling of love again with somebody else.

Also after a few years of very heavy acid use and some very powerful experiences with positive and negative people, I realised in ways I hadn't before how important it is for me to be around people with good 'energies'. However as i pondered this more I became far too self aware of my own energy that I was emitting to other people, and as time went on I became more and more self conscious about my own vibe. I began finding it really hard to connect with people as I would be thinking too deeply into this notion and fearing giving off a bad vibe. over time this caused me to become somewhat more introverted.

Recently I came back to the country town I used to live in for my 21st birthday, but also to get away from all the city noise, which was making me feel worse in my already negative condition. I had been really keen to dive in with the spice again, though had been quite hesitant for a couple months as I felt I had not properly integrated my past experience. It was not that I didn't want to, i just really struggled was all and i foolishly stuck to my comfort zone and in ways betrayed what the experience had shown me.

I decided that it was time to dive in again and face the music. I felt kind of worried that my spirit guide was going to be angry with me for not integrating my past experience to my full potential, but on the other hand I felt I really needed some help in understanding why I was struggling so much to do so. I was also willing to pay attention and accept whatever lesson I was to be given.. whether it had negative or positive vibes.

I headed out with my friend to Mt Duval.. a gorgeous mountain a few kilometres away from my hometown which is a highly sacred meeting spot for aboriginal people. Upon getting there we were met at the gate by a man with a very powerful presence and gaze, who told us that we could not just waltz in there at our own accord, and that we had to get permission to enter the sacred place. We made the call to the number he gave to us, and surely enough we were given permission to climb the mountain, so long as we did not drive, but walk rather.

We walked up a couple hundred metres to an open field area which looked accross at a magnificant and very mystical feeling forest. We decided this was to be the place that we wuld journey. I decided I wanted to pretty much get straight into it, so my friend went for a walk and left me be to my thoughts and my soon to be experienced experience..

I began opening up to myself about my life over the past couple years. I thought about how at the end of the day half the reason I have been feeling so negative, is because i'd felt the polar opposite of negativity in the first place.. I had felt such powerful love and connection and was scared to lose that. I had succumbed to fear of loss of those things, and in overthinking with fear, losing those things became a harsh reality. I thought about what drives me in life.. and again came to the same conclusion.. connection. These realisations helped me see that my mistakes stemmed from something beautiful, and fear of losing that. It was as this feeling sunk in that I loaded up the bowl with some changa and hit it without hesitation.

As I held in the smoke, I felt the usual pinch in the centre of my head, and felt a presence from the trees in front of me pierce through my vision and penetrate my thought. I found myself being drawn into this experience with the most positive and inviting vibe I had ever experienced on a breakthrough. This beautiful feminine presence began to hug me and embrace me with such tender love that I didn't think about what was going on at all, i just embraced it back and bathed in the beautiful connection that I was experiencing. She wrapped herself around and through me and showed me that this is what drives me. This is the beauty of the universe at its peak, and it is the underlying energy of all creation and life. I realised that the love I felt for this girl was an energy I could tap into within myself, and that I didn't have to hold onto external things for that feeling.. that was just an illusion created by my feeling of separation on this material realm.

When I began to become aware of my body again, I felt.. changed, yet in a strange way unchanged. I felt so deeply in touch with myself. This was who I'd always been, but my thought had disconnected me from that energy. I ran up the hill to my friend and gave him the tightest hug I'd given in a long time. It felt good. I realised fear is an illusion. The only truth is what is happening right now. Fear is a lense which I developed from looking too deeply in the future and past and I will make more effort to remain true to my perception of the current moment from now on. Thanks for reading.. and thankyou Acacia Phlebophylla for gifting me with such a humbling experience.. i owe ya one

Love, the secret of the universe... Seems to be well hidden at times though

It was great when once when vaporizing DMT I received the message how love is all we need and it's the most important thing in the universe. I mean not only love between people

I've had this revelation too, and when I've had it I somehow knew that it is THE revelation.

One time I was tripping with my girlfriend and we were looking into each others eyes and I whispered to her "I love you... I hope those are the last words I ever say."

As soon as I said that, I felt myself explode with insight about how that was the name of the human game all along. We are love, literally surrounded by love, on a mission to try and find it, but we have these egos which make the game challenging. It's very much like Alan Watts concept of God playing hide & seek with himself, and all religions claim that God is love (yet this is often times mockable when these same gods demand subservience and promote bloodshed between differing faiths).

Yes....yes...and YES! That there..above some other main lessons that the experience provides..is one that tends to stick with me through and through. We are love and compassion at the most fundamental level of our existence, and so is the entire universe. This resonates strongly with how I feel and many of my experiences i've had. We attempt day in and day out to fill this void of love through anything external, when in fact...it's that most fundamental level that we're striving for.

And once your tapped into that undeniable love for yourself and your life, all else follows suit.

Great report

Yes we are, but life is good at making us forget that.




Yes, i have already mentioned this in past posts, we have learned to use external means to validate ourselves to ourselves. In other words, we seek out our love through feedback through our actions.

Obviously this is wrong. We are not our Jobs, or our work position. We are not our country, etc, etc. In fact there is nothing external that could possibly do justice to the divinity of our true essence. People seeking externally will never be happy, ever!

It's an interesting point to realise that when we seek ourselves out, we disconnect from ourselves in order to find ourselves. DMT can provide that direct connection to your innerself like meditation can, to realise that you are complete and beautiful beyond compare. Others will chase women, chase job titles, for brief glimpses of themselves, but these will only be fleeting.....

It is good at making us forget that indeed, christian! I guess that for me has been one of the big lessons in experiencing separation through this material experience. and perhaps through experiencing separation and "forgetting" about its interconnection, the universe continues to learn about the nature of its oneness in a more meaningful way.. you don't realise how much something means to you until you lose it kinda thing

thanks for the comments guys. i was a little embarrassed at first to post that report up here as it was really personal stuff, but I am really glad it resonated with people

LOVE to you all!

I have even speculated that we want to forget

I'm glad my ideas resonated with you. Actually i think that Society likes that we forget. I mean it's great for the working world to have people identifying themselves with work, job positions, fashion, and external actions. Anyway, enough of that!

yeah totally. i wouldn't say with as humble intentions as the universal entity though(whatever you wanna call it).. society likes us to forget so that we can become more materialistic and usually sways us even further away from living with love. love is bad for the societal system.. it doesn't work unless people live in fear

This is what i think. Society doesn't want enlightened people, society wants slaves. The moment a man is disconnected from his divine connection he can be tricked to seek it out with whatever delusion is offered as a solution. Anyway enough of that!