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Much Love to All - I Must Face Hell Options
 
Pandora
Welcoming committeeSenior Member
#1 Posted : 5/1/2012 10:21:18 AM
To make a long dramatic story short - I have a mass of adhesions (scars and new tissue bridges from previous surgery) in my intestine causing a complete obstruction.

I checked out of the hospital against medical orders on Saturday and must go back in 4 hours.

I am terrified.

But, hell, I guess it beats spending 21 minutes in plank time personal hell hyperspace, right?

Anyway, everything is a bit uncertain right now. Telling me they ruled out malignancy while strongly telling me to get a living will put together quickly.

Just wanted to pass on my deep and great love for all of you that make up this community. You have been a crutch to me not only during a long period of decreasing health, functionality and increasing pain but also during this crisis. While inpatient, I missed being with you more than ganja or sweets or a lot of things. . . .

I'll just sum it up to say thank you so much. And always,

Peace & Love
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


Hyperspace LOVES YOU
 
۩
Senior Member
#2 Posted : 5/1/2012 10:26:07 AM
I hope you recover from this fully, Pandora.

We will be missing you and wishing the best for you while you are in the hospital!
 
corpus callosum
Medical DoctorModerator
#3 Posted : 5/1/2012 10:35:05 AM
Wishing you all the best Pandora, and a full and speedy recovery.

I wouldnt get freaked out by them asking you to make a will even though the doctors seem sure its not malignant; this is due to the real risk which is associated with a general anesthetic.

If you dont mind me asking, have you ever had any abdominal procedures/intra-abdominal or pelvic infections before or do you suffer with Crohns disease?

One potential upside is the quality analgesia you will receive!Wink

Once more, best wishes.......and do yourself a favour, dont discharge yourself against medical advice!
I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous lechers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself with one hand while the other hand tries to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. It destroys me.

 
Pandora
Welcoming committeeSenior Member
#4 Posted : 5/1/2012 10:38:46 AM
Hysterectomy. Periodic IBS. Aya helped for a good long time.

I fear the NG tube horribly.

And yeah, but it seemed like I was laying there with my pain managed and nothing was happening. No forward movement in terms of tests or procedures or anything. Surely that bed could be better put to use while I make a minor effort to put my affairs into order?

Also it's unsafe - three employees during my brief previous stay told me of exiting from work and waking up inpatients with gunshot wounds.

And yeah, most def, my detox is over. Was going to enjoy bragging rights about 3 years clean this May.

Peace & Love
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


Hyperspace LOVES YOU
 
PrimalWisdom
#5 Posted : 5/1/2012 11:50:20 AM
Hey Pand

I hope you get better soon, and recover fully.
Sending much love your way.

Peace.
Sonorous fractal manifestastions,
birthing golden vibrations,
that echo through folds of space & time,
ferry my soul closer to God

 
Purges
#6 Posted : 5/1/2012 12:20:48 PM
Pandora - you were my mentor when I was first getting into this stuff about a year ago. That makes you instrumental in some great, positive change in my life. As such, you hold a special place in my heart.

I truly hope you will pull through this, and have faith that you will. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Lose Control, Free My Soul, Break Me Open, Make Me Whole.
"DMT kicked my balls off" - od3
 
Vodsel
Senior Member | Skills: Filmmaking and Storytelling, Video and Audio Technology, Teaching, Gardening, Languages (Proficient Spanish, Catalan and English, and some french, italian and russian), Seafood cuisine
#7 Posted : 5/1/2012 12:23:21 PM
Best wishes, Pandora. I hope everything goes well. Make sure to let us know when you are recovered.

Hugs Smile
 
oden
#8 Posted : 5/1/2012 1:19:00 PM
WTF!! Pan
sounds like your giving up..
Yes you got a fight ahead of you ..
Pull your boots UP..and get your fight gloves on!
http://www.youtube.com/w...ilpage&v=PaVfyTJvKc4
Im one of your biggest fans..you helped me and so many others ...
Now its time for you own personal fight....
Im truly sorry you have this on your plate.
But you never seemed like a quiter..i pray im not out of line here..

Get mad dog mean about it!!
I for one will be waiting for your victory!!
Much love and respect.....Oden

oden attached the following image(s):
hell.jpg (17kb) downloaded 466 time(s).
 
obliguhl
Senior Member
#9 Posted : 5/1/2012 2:16:56 PM
Good health is a wonderful gift and it is getting harder and harder to obtain as time passes. But you know that and is not my aim to poke in your wounds. It def. sounds horrible to live in such a uncertainty but it isn't cancer and that counts for something. Try to stay as calm as possible, perhaps remind yourself of the love around you and it will pass. We all hope it does !

get well soon Panda Smile
 
Shadowman-x
Senior Member | Skills: Relationship & emotional support/counselling
#10 Posted : 5/1/2012 3:20:36 PM
<3 you're fantastic pandora, you already know i cherish our friendship
i am sending you nothing but the strongest Metta i can muster. Love
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
 
aetherbound
#11 Posted : 5/1/2012 4:47:37 PM
Much love Pando!!!...You are a great Nexian and will be in all our thoughts!!!!

Aetherbound
In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order..Jung
All above writing with the exception of Dr. Jung's quote is pure mushroom encrusted cowpie!
 
Pandora
Welcoming committeeSenior Member
#12 Posted : 5/1/2012 5:04:24 PM
I did not go yet. I had a small amount of resolution (first I've seen in a week) last night . . . . .and frankly, I'm too anxious.

I have a call in to them to seek advice. I do not seem to be able to make decisions weighing factors correctly . . .

This is very very different from holding a GVG and torch with a big dose of freebase in it. I'm not sure how to apply acceptance and surrender and love to the situation I am in.

"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."
-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2


Hyperspace LOVES YOU
 
Electric Kool-Aid
#13 Posted : 5/1/2012 5:24:06 PM
Pandora - You hang in there! Chin up! Think positive vibes! We are right there with you girl! Smile
Done: THC - LSD - MESC - MDMA - Shrooms - DMT / Want:Hyperspace travel - World Peace
Respect, intention, meditation, inhalation, observation, analyzation, respect.
 
eyespine
#14 Posted : 5/1/2012 5:32:32 PM
Best thoughts Pandora, may you have a fully and speedy recovery!
 
Orion
Senior Member
#15 Posted : 5/1/2012 5:42:18 PM
I send you cool vibrations should you need to drop the temps of this hectic bizarre thing called life.

Hang tight, much love to you Pan <3
Art Van D'lay wrote:
Smoalk. It. And. See.
 
Wax
#16 Posted : 5/1/2012 5:50:52 PM
Pandora, strength and courage to you.

Sometimes its easier to trust entities rather than mere men, but right now you have to surrender to letting the doctors do their work and trust their knowledge. I strongly believe you will be back with us shortly. My father wen't through a similar situation not too long ago in which he had to have a few feet of intestine removed due to scarring, he is much better now and I believe the same will be true for you! I wish you quick healing and peace in this time.
'Little spider weaves a wispy web, stumblin' through the woods it catches to my head. She crawls behind my ear and whispers secrets. Dragonfly whiz by and sings now teach it.'
 
DeMolecularTraveler
#17 Posted : 5/1/2012 5:52:10 PM
Gonna send some good vibes your way.
Much Love and Respect!
 
easyrider
#18 Posted : 5/1/2012 6:40:48 PM
I hope everything will work out toward your well-being, Pandora.
"'Most men will not swιm before they are able to.' Is not that witty? Naturally, they won't swιm! They are born for the solid earth, not for the water. And naturally they won't think. They are made for life, not for thought. Yes, and he who thinks, what's more, he who makes thought his business, he may go far in it, but he has bartered the solid earth for the water all the same, and one day he will drown."

— Hermann Hesse
 
Pup Tentacle
#19 Posted : 5/1/2012 6:45:51 PM
Get well... be well, and may blessings abound for you Smile
Pup Tentacle

You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.
Robert Anton Wilson
Mushroom Greenhouse How-To
I'm no pro but I know a a few things - always willing to help with Psilocybe cubensis cultivation questions.
 
dreamer042
Moderator | Skills: Mostly harmless
#20 Posted : 5/1/2012 7:14:48 PM
Call up on all the courage and fortitude you've gained from your psychic explorations. Now it's time for the real work of the putting those lessons into practice. I'm sure you'll pull through this just fine, you're way too spunky to let a little thing like this slow ya down Smile

Wishing you all the best for a quick and easy recovery

☮ & ♥
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...

Visual diagram for the administration of dimethyltryptamine

Visual diagram for the administration of ayahuasca
 
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