I don't know what I can say about it. It is really unbelievable...can i turn this on? (//The camera) Yes...it's simply ridiciolous, everything..every thought you are thinking is ridiciolous! Life is not meant to be understood. If you attempt to understand, you forget. What I'm doing now has no meaning too. It's simply a joke, a big joke! It's a big joke, I don't even know if i exist now, and if the words i speak make any sense at all – I've got the feeling that it doesn't make much sense. The same goes for that (//McKenna) „Alien Thing“. It's baloney! I mean, if i were to take a look at the back of that thing, then I can see if its „on“ (//I'm refering to my camera again). Yes it is – 2 minutes passed. But what are „minutes“? if you don't know what two minutes are , then time doesn't exist! It sounds weird but it's the way it is ...time is simply ...(weird and long laughter, coughing). The thought alone! To record this is ridiciolous...and the thought of watching this sometimes and to laugh about myself..you can just laugh about it, what kind of thoughts we're having. These thoughts are utter nonsense and ridiciolous! Absolutely ridic.. (long laughter) This is not a cry, I'm laughing..it's like puking...but not so..I try to form a concept, but everytime i think I have succeeded, that thought is meaningless!! (strange laughter, drooling, weird noises)..NONSENSE! What's that „big breakthrough“ ? It's utter nonsense! You do not have to think about it. To „be afraid“ is ridiciolous. Such a bullcrap thought.

A thooouughhht.....what is a thought? That's hard to say! A thought is a coagulated piece of ..(spitting) a ,..a...a aaa..something ...no???? But there is no reason for it!!!! There is no reason!
There is no reason for THIS (recording the video). Is there a reason for me to exist? (surprised) I don't really know...I've been talking for 5 minutes now..whats that noise? Oh, it's the camera. My lung hurts. That's the price, the price. I'm totally..stop stupid camera! I need the new firmware update, makes lesser npoise then.

What can one learn? For instance, that this is...this is a tree..and this is a stick..a thing. Cars...and now i need to go hide...but this is nonsense. Because of THIS person (//zooms at person outside) So she can't see me but why ? It makes no sense! Save energy..but what IS energy...but, really.. it DOES NOT MATTER. It's like you're trying to get behind a big mystery but you don't know everything about it and everytime you sense it..it's (laughing) you notice that these thoughts are ridiciolous, that it makes no sense, because everything is..is...because you don't know what it is, what it all means...what is this FASTER....That's what we call „cloud“ and „sunset“ ...but what meaning does it have??? NONE! Words we created to describe something we can get never ahold of! To know what IT IS! It's simply a manifestation, a manifestation of (big laughter) ...of ...of...our thoughts, but they are thoughts observing themselves...YES! THAT'S IT! Thoughts observing themselves! We humans are self observing beings. Everthing we think is a creation of our thoughts! Every concept, including „seeing and feeling“ are manmade concepts. Concepts such as love or anxiety...all concepts to see this world ..and that only 10 minutes have passed is unbelievable , because it does not mean anything.

No i think about my voice.. Do i talk adequately? But its ridiciolous (laughs). The thought alone is funny! That it makes no sense...just like watching the sky, or ...or if i would say ANY words at all ...foul language „fucking“ for instance...such bullshit. Doesn't matter if its taboo or not, it's all manmade and does not have a meaning..it's this beautiful panning...but it's not beautiful or ist it? Yes...no yes no yey no...now i say „This is a beautiful picture!“ and now „This is a terrible picture!“ and now „aaaahhh weeeeeehhhhhhh“ „ (wild panning) (dog noises) Is this picture close...or far away..close far away tickticktick....slowly, I'm sensing my lung ...what i know hurt. Language forms again..YES THAT'S IT! Language ceased to exist!


Conclusion suddenly starts

I visited a place were language did not exist. Because: Language is ridiciolous !Language itself is simply ridiciolous. Ah well, you can't really say. It is impossible to explain IT. IT is a big Mystery. It is a barrier you can't penetrate. A border..yes. a border you can't cross. To cease existing means to be at a place were language does not exists, were thoughts have no meaning. A place you can just LAUGH about the thoughts you had before.

About the moment in which you think you are forming thoughts, but you really do NOT! And if there is a thought, only one valid thought, then it's „Everything is ridiciolous“. But is this really a thought ? I think it's more a basic principle flowing through our veins ..but it's no „principle“ and that's the funny thing. ITS NO PRINCIPLE?!!?!?! It's ...some kind of Energy..the root..the root withoutht thought, language...withouth EVERYTHING we know.

That's it, but it can't be the mystery because if it would be the mystery it could not be the mystery, and it can't be the wonder, because then it would not be the wonder.. because every thought annhilates ITSELF. And that's the big Wonder. The Big Wonder and the UNEBELIEVABLE....

(video automatically cut off after 15 minutes)