I've been hyper bitch-slapped at least three times. Each and every time, I was using DMT to excess- breaking through multiple times in a session without any time off for integration. Doing it multiple times in a week.
Now, I always say follow the call and this is in fact what I do. But, speaking for myself, I think sometimes the call is so strong I think I may mis-hear or mis-interpret, maybe even get greedy for insight, forward progress, etc.
Here is a link to the last and worst one.
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...spx?g=posts&t=20905
I'm six months into integrating this one and, frankly, have seldom felt mentally better in my life. I learned A LOT from that one. I hope to update a post on that thread - maybe even change the title to say 6 months later, what I've learned. Just a couple things: Never say never again with DMT, love is the heart of all, the key ingredient in everything that matters, the rest is illusion, fluff, cultural bull-excrement, etc. Acceptance with understanding, love and human connection is the ONLY way (because impermanence is the only truth); every moment of this exquisite blessing/miracle that is life should be noticed, cherished, appreciated, shared, etc.
So, I guess I'd throw my hand in partially with those who say, "The rough ones are the most valuable." BUT, I did do A LOT of hard work on this one. I tried to integrate. My first attempts were miserable failures. Then integration happened but I was so unhappy - I had acceptance in a sad, resigned way. Then a series of things having to do with trips, life and death happened and the quiet, happy, acceptance descended and it's been here so long my friends and family/loved ones are noticing. "You've changed!" I even had someone close to me say, "We used to think after you died you would be reincarnated as a feral cat. Now we think maybe that's not the case, but that you'd come back as a happy housecat."
Don't get me wrong. I haven't given up fight and passion when appropriate, not at all, nor calling folks on their own bull excrement as well as trying to confess and identify my own ongoing streams of same. What I've given up is the endless inappropriate resistance, railing and complaining about stuff that MUST be accepted. It feels very good. Very quiet and calm. Suddenly meditation is easy and natural, not a crazy, impossible exercise in trying to even out chaos.
Regarding "tolerance." I've never noticed any real tolerance with DMT. BUT, if I use heavily or abusively, the color drops out of my visions. Also, if I dose too low the sharp lines are gone and my visions are as blurry as my everyday sight (20-450 )
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. Yet ironically, back during my honeymoon period, I dosed so hard, high (mgs) and fast that that was never an issue. I think the change in effects can be due to abuse BUT for me it can also be due to fear or hesitation or just old age conservatvism holding me back from taking that deep third hit in under 60 seconds these days.
So, I guess the point here is that in my honeymoon I abused DMT so much that I've made it so that it is very difficult to achieve desired effects today. Get burned by a flame that is the heat of the core of the sun a couple times and it's hard to put your hand back in - even if you just know that it's only the Gom Jabbar box.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKQMWZHiQVQ
I suspect I may have more to say here. I really appreciate your starting this thread Simon Jester - thank you. I apologize for the rambling style of my initial thoughts here.
Peace & Love
"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU