One really amazing thing I wanted to share, was a few weeks ago on Saturday, we (my fiance and I) went out to the field and smoked some changa. My experience was profound and I learned how to will my mind clear, hers was more personal... Her whole life she has been treated like shit by most all her family and peers. She has lots of issues/baggage, and she never really felt connected to her mother. Anyways, she was telling me about her trip, and how there were angels sitting at 4 tables in the sky, and in the middle of them all was a big glowing feminine figure who basically told her it would be ok, that she is being watched over.
I told you that story to tell you this one:
About two weeks ago, my fiance and I found out that shes pregnant. One of the happiest moments of my life. Knowing that I'm going to be a dad, it's almost unreal. I used to always, I dunno shrug?, off when people said that it really does change your life as just something people say.... but it really does, or at least it did for me. I can honestly say that I feel as if my life has meaning now. Not that it 'didn't' before, I just didn't really care about life to much... but now its like omg I have to look after my fiance, so the pregnancy doesn't go to hard, I have to look after the baby, which I'm so unready for its crazy, and then I also have to look after myself more, because I have to look after the other two... definitely gave my life a firm kick in the head and said 'get on track!'. (Edit): Now after finding out that shes pregnant, she was pregnant when she smoked the changa, and now she thinks that that is what the trip was about: her being a mother.
The day we found out she was pregnant, my boss fired me for no reason (serious he said he doesn't think it's working out, although he praised me everyday at how well I was doing -.-), and so now I am moving back in with my father until November, with which I can go over to Europe and stay with her until the babies born, and fly back with them.... after that.... well we have a couple plans, but nothing set in stone yet.
Anyways, I just wanted to share with my second family that I am going to be a father, and I can't be more happy!
Also, anyone in Europe know of any good places to hang out? I'll be in Wallasey? I think it is. Anyways, if anyone would like to PM me or talk feel free!
Thanks for reading <3 much love.
LSDMT
01:13:08 ‹Ellis DEmpty› I met the people living in my head... I disturbed them while they were sitting down at the table.... They were as shocked as I was!
We were born too soon to explore the cosmos, and to late to explore the earth. Our frontier is the human mind; religion is the ocean we must cross.