Hello!

I've been exploring with DMT with my husband (username: physics envy) for many months. With many trips under my belt now, I felt it time to start posting a few. What's interesting is how different our trips seem to be. I seem to go to a place that I've been before several times in my life. @ age 5 when I had anesthesia for surgery, @ age 14 when I had nitrous oxide, @ age 33 with anesthesia again...the drug doesn't seem to matter. I still go to the same realm.

I've learned and healed so much with this medicine, so I'm very excited to be sharing.


9/15/10
I set my intention to meet with Jake (my 10-year old son) before I started. No other requests were made. I just wanted to know and experience him in this higher plane.

Everything was coming on very strong. When I closed my eyes he was there, but in the form of energy (specifically, bright blue light). It was more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced (consciously) up to this point. Instantly in the presence of such high vibration, I could hardly stand the pain. Imagine standing inside the circle of 20 semi trucks blaring their horns. It gives an idea how it felt. Quickly though, the light became an incredible vortex and I knew it to be a portal. I was immediately taken in.

It was at this point all hell broke loose. A state of mass confusion. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was still 'me'. Me, however, did NOT equal Brooke. I didn’t have any labels with which to identify. This was such a neat experience looking back. I didn’t know who I was, where I was, what was happening, or why it was happening. I knew I was going through something that would eventually end, but I had no idea when or where I would be at the conclusion. What ran through my conscious mind (at this point) was that I was in the process of death. I was going back to something. Crying at times because I was so out of sorts…confusion went on for quite some time…and all the while there were others around me trying to comfort and help me through it. 'Transition team' describes them well. It felt like controlled chaos, if that makes sense. Everyone around knew what was happening to me. I, however, was only aware of moving through some transition. We were all working together fiercely to get the job done.

At times I would fall back into a knowing of myself here on Earth and I understood this was necessary. I was bringing 'more of myself' into my physical body. I never know what word to use here. Higher Self? Spirit? There are no labels in this realm, so I am left trying to describe something I only know and understand outside of my rational mind.

I got the impression we had been preparing for quite some time for this ceremony…this ego death turned birth of a ‘bigger’ version of me. The moment I gave the signal (requesting to meet with Jake) it went down quickly and with intensity I can only describe as childbirth times 100. Waves of energy coming into my body (much like contractions) were very difficult to take.

During these contractions my body immediately began working to balance the energies. It just happened. I’ve never done anything like this before except during childbirth and in lucid dreams.

While in labor, my body tried to balance using unusual movements and strange noises. Very animalistic. And in lucid dreaming… When learning to fly, I had to practice manipulating the energy of my body during flight…or I would crash to the ground. Anyone who flies in their dreams will probably understand this.

I realized afterward (and some during) that the most relieving part of the process was Chris grounding me. He had his hand on my stomach during the most painful parts, siphoning the energy and moving it down into the earth. During the less intense parts of these contractions, I felt brief periods of stillness and relief. Eventually, I would have more bursts of energy and continue the process of balancing and grounding. Each time a little easier than the last.

Toward the end, I had a quick vision of a person named Darryl Anka, who channels a being called Bashar. Remembering the movements of his body, I realized I was doing similar things...with much greater intensity. I understood that more of my higher self was entering my physical body much like the way Bashar enters Darryl.

As things winded down, I felt real POWER. It’s like I woke a part of myself that had been sleeping since childhood. Even more interesting was how masculine the energy felt! Would Chris and I even be able to relate? This question definitely crossed my mind. I was very concerned this was going to be a big shift in personality (for lack of a better term).

Like most trips, the memories faded a bit and I was left to integrate what I felt rather than what I remembered. After several days in slight shock (only half joking), I started coming into balance again. Definitely stronger, but even more quiet than before. It seems the more I explore, the less I want to speak. I don't know if this is common. If it weren’t still necessary in some situations, I’d rather stop speaking all together. All the good stuff seems to happen when everyone is silent.

That's one hell of an experience there. Well first off, welcome to the Nexus! That was quite an eventful experience you had there. It's interesting that the spice was able to take you to similar places as those other substances. It must be a meaningful place in your subconscious. In terms of the whole talking thing, you know they say some of the smartest people are those who don't talk so much, but listen. Sometimes the greatest way to win a debate or to really get a grip on how to throw your two cents in a conversation is to listen to what everyone else has to say; spend too much time talking, and you're "defenseless".

Good Report!

I like when you wrote, " Definitely stronger, but even more quiet than before. "

That reminds some of several spiritual texts I have read, they always speak of the power of silence, you must have regained a lot of your own personal energy like you said you felt...

How is life is now though?
How are your interaction with others?
Do you experience more synchronicity in events of your life?
With your new silence do people respect you more or do you just feel stronger & more in control?

"Better to stay silent and be though a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

Also, welcome to Nexus and thank you for sharing your experience

Thank you for the warm welcome, everyone!

It IS a meaningful place. Whenever I get there, I am free to explore anything. Sometimes I am steered away or distracted from certain requests. There is no time. It seems I can visit any timespace I desire, all I have to do is put my focus there.

I've gone back to childhood traumas for healing. I've seen the near future and watched humanity wake up (to accept and grieve what we've done as a collective). I've practiced alchemy while watching the energy transform in front of my eyes. I've had body scans and deep, deep healing. I even discovered a glitch one time while coming out of a trip! One that lead to some pretty big realizations about consciousness for me. Tricking the mind is prevalent, I'm learning.

I have basically discovered I am here (in physical reality) in a game of sorts. One where I send down a little part of myself to occupy this avatar of 'Brooke'. I actually have a JOB in these higher realms. In one trip I just came into my 'higher self' and started working with my gang. This gang was a family unit of sorts. No labels though, and quite frankly it was impossible to tell where I ended and they began. We were all like a drop in the ocean. Definitely a collective consciousness this group is. My husband was part of it too. I actually discussed plans for my husband with his higher self as I looked him in the eyes in 3D. Then I had to ask him to stay quiet. He was distracting us.

I have so much to say about all of this, so I actually started a blog (mostly for myself) recently. Only four posts so far. It also goes into how this has affected our lives over the past year. It's been a strange and lovely journey. http://pilotsimone.blogspot.com/

Very, very grateful for this board and for this medicine. Both have been such a blessing.

I have changed so much since this began. Every significant relationship that I have, has been changed or altered in some way. My husband and two children being the most profound and obvious. It's as if we shed all roles in our family. I'm not a wife or mother. I am one aspect of this family unit. I've taken to calling us Superfriends.

On the medicine, I clearly see how my actions have affected everyone. No where is this more evident than with my children. It only took one trip. I cried my eyes out when I felt the pain I had caused them with my words. I didn't see it coming at all. I thought I'd fixed those mistakes made by my parents. Turns out, I was repeating the same patterns. I had no idea. It was tough to face that one.

As for the outside world, I pretty much only interact online with friends/family. My desire has been for even more isolation. We moved to a different part of the state in 2010. Now, I'm hoping to move across country. I'm extremely sensitive to sounds, smells, tastes, music, movies/TV. And like I stated before, talking has become a huge turnoff. I've become so sensitive to chatter, that I have to stop my husband often. I really don't care to hear about anything pointless or in the past. I just don't go there anymore. It's like someone is poking me with a stick, and not until they stop the pointless chatter does the poking stop. Whether I like it or not, I am forced to live in the now. Thankfully, my kids live there naturally.

I've lost the ability to judge or hate. I just don't have in me anymore. Good/evil, right/wrong...doesn't exist. I feel unconditional love for the most horrendous of people. I don't share that often though. People would probably not take kindly to me saying I've seen beauty in rape, war, and torture. I imagine it would confuse and anger them deeply. It's true though. I have seen it from a higher perspective. It was a gift to me, actually. To show me why bad things have happened to me and others. To show me why I chose these lessons in this life.

Time is also wacky. This started way before DMT though. We are all at home 24/7 (we unschool) and have no schedule. No bedtime, no waketime, no appointments. It's been like some grand experiment...to live without a clock!

I'm just much more intuitive than I was before this all began. Even intimidated at times by what I know I'm capable of doing. It's difficult to verbalize what I mean. It's as if I am remembering who I am...slowly. Waking up...slowly. I also find that every time I figure out something huge, I'm forced to scrap it all to move to the next level. In other words, what's true now may not be true in one minute and I'm forced to kick the ladder down after I've reached another level. It's an amazing game.

My new silence probably isn't noticed by many since I keep to myself. Just my husband and kids. Chris has noticed, but the kids not so much. They're empaths like me though, so we've never needed to talk much. We do love to sing though!

Hey, pilotsimone, welcome!

I am enjoyed reading your report and I can relate to many parts of it. Like going to the same 'place' on various kinds of psychedelics. I also listen/watch Bashar (a lot ).

Also, I highly enjoy, how all of us are experiencing objectively the same thing (let's call it 'DMT realm' or 'Hyperspace' for lack of a better term), but get different subjective output out of it. Like Bashar says: 'You get back what you put in'. And everybody's belief system is different, hence so many different perspectives and experiences. So exiting

I am glad you have joined; it's nice to have you and your perspective around here

Thank you for the welcome, AstraLex!


Yes, I agree with the bolded so much. One thing I've definitely learned over these months is that I am creating every trip I have. It's a canvas of sorts. In the beginning, I had energy beings (my family unit) that were communicating with me. I was asking questions and they were responding (both telepathically). I was asking for healing and they were healing me. Our separateness was still felt by me on some level, even though I felt connected. I felt they were higher beings with more power and more knowledge from whom I needed to learn.

As time passed, I had a wonder and slight suspicion that I was creating this grand experience for myself...rather than something outside of me.

Then came the trip where I noticed a glitch! While coming out of a trip, moving through a tunnel, feeling fine...I noticed something OFF. By off, I mean it didn't make sense. Was out of place. Here's a little fairly tale way of trying to describe it...

I'm moving through a tunnel where many beautiful voices are singing to me. As I pass by one section of beings, I hear my own voice! It was so brief though. And the moment I took notice, I floated back up to this section to have a look. That being giggled nervously and then promptly changed their voice to something different than mine. I felt it wasn't supposed to happen. An 'oops' of some sort.

That was the beginning of the realization that I was playing all the parts. I was everyone. This took me quite a long while to integrate, so I think I found it quite shocking at the time.

I now take the approach that I am creating whatever WooWooWorld I can handle at the time (to deliver these insights). However my 3D self feels most comfortable receiving the information...that's how I present it to myself. I believe it can be angels, elves, ETs, energy beings, and so on... Whatever feels best.

I share your excitement, friend!

First time I took pharma, I got nauseous and puked around an hour in. Right about as soon as I was done puking, I decided to hit the GVG with some freebase. Took 3 large hits. Sat on my couch as I realized that I had just taken it to a completely different level. I quickly realized I would have to puke again...and quickly. I darted out of my seat and moved to the bathroom as quickly as I could in my state. While I was puking this second time, in the midst of the climax of my freebased visuals, my eyes winced shut, I swore what I saw was a glitch of some sort. It was like the abominations of fractals before my eyes were looking back at me ever confused as I was for seeing them. It was like a confused tornado of fractals like no others I've ever seen before or after. I had the distinct sense that even at the time it was so incomprehensible to me that it seemed like it had to be a glitch cause it couldn't be categorized with any other image ever, DMT-based or not.