I've been interested in researching DMT and it's spiritual properties for quite sometime now. I've never done it due to a bad experience I had with marijuana quite a while ago. Long story short, it was laced with PCP and it changed my life in a bad way. I've been plagued with anxiety, sleep disturbances, delusional thinking... It just really messed me up. It's almost been 2 years since that happened, haven't touched anything since.
I've never done LSD or any other sort of hallucinogenic drug, but many of my friends have. Most of them aren't in it for the spiritual experience though, they just do it for the trip.

Anyways, I have a major interest in near death experiences, and I do believe that DMT has some sort of spiritual property in it. I know we go on DMT trips when we dream... Which leads into last night.

I was laying in bed, half awake, but aware of my surroundings. I knew I was safe and I knew I was in bed. I slowly fell into a dream state, but like I said, I was aware of everything that was going on, sort of.
I heard a voice talking to me in my head, and I saw numbers and lights and I could SEE time. Time was THERE. The voice was explaining to me how time on Earth is pointless because in the other realm, the beings know how to control time using their inner-self. He was showing me time as a physical manifestation. I can't describe it. I could see time.

He also slowed time down to a point that it was incomprehensibly fast and slow and still and everything all at once. Time was just there, and he could control it. Time was just there. He had full control over it and kept slowing it down and speeding it up, and the more he did it, the more I understood that time is only an idea, and in reality, there is no time. Since time is an idea, I can control it, I guess? Doesn't make much sense outside of my head. I can't explain it.
I couldn't see the being, but I could sense it and hear it and I visualized it. I remember seeing a big purple background with a shining white light in the middle, and this being WAS the light, I guess. I could sense that the being was the light I guess.

Time.

It all made sense though. I woke up and had forgotten most of it but these are the key parts I remember.

Given your history, I would recommend you start off with an eighth of shrooms. Shrooms also have a spiritual quality and shouldn't freak you out. I definitely wouldn't try dmt being plagued by anxiety and delusional thinking . . . come to think of it, shrooms might not be good for you either . . . you probably shouldn't do any drugs.

However, it sounds like you have a tendency for lucid dreaming, why not work with that for a while? That would be a much safer path for you. Keep a dream journal by your bed or a tape recorder and record your dreams as soon as you wake up.

Maybe seek professional help for your mental health issues? Then maybe start with a light pot brownie.

I don't think this has ever been proven beyond speculation. I wouldn't hold it as fact yet.

I agree with tetra, if you desire to experiment with drugs I would suggest starting with clean pot. The psychedelic experience can be pretty demanding at times and would not mix well with delusional thinking patterns. If you're searching for spiritual enlightenment, perhaps take up meditation or yoga?
There are many other paths to spiritual growth, psychedelics are not for everyone. Dream journals are a good idea also as mentioned above.

If you're absolutely set on trying a psychedelic, stick to a low dose of mushrooms for the first time. An eighth might be too much if you are unsure of the potency or how you'll react. 1.5-2g would be playing it safer IMO.

I wouldn't recommend DMT, or an eighth of shrooms. I would agree with the lucid dreaming and also deep meditation, I've found that with lots of weed and hemi-snyc binaural beats through stereo headphones I can sometimes achieve pretty intense states for short periods of time.
Then I would start out with either smoking some pot or a small amount of mushrooms like a half eighth of cubes.
But make sure to take care of your set and setting and be alone or with a close and spiritually minded friend.
Good luck, hope you find what you are looking for.

Well I know how pot affects me and it isn't good. I have smoked pot since then (even though I said I haven't touched anything since). What i meant by that is that I haven't gotten into anything and really done it more than once or twice. I've smoked pot around 3 or 4 times since then, but other than that, nothing.
And the same thing happens.
I get extreme anxiety and after the high, I get into a state of feeling totally detached from reality for about 2 or 3 weeks, and it slowly gets better. What I mean by detached is my body physically feels detached. I feel numb and empty and void. It's very weird.
It scared me at first, but I've learned to deal with it, and in a sense, I feel constantly detached but I've gotten so good at dealing with it that I've ALMOST learned to embrace it.

I don't really want to try psychedelics outside of DMT and the reason for that is because from what I have read, DMT is the strongest, shortest trips you can have.
Plus, from what I've read, it's a true psychedelic experience that leaves many people changed. I don't want to go half-out and feel like I could have done better and learned more. I really want to venture into the spiritual realm. I want to leave the experience feeling as if I learned something about myself, or life in general. The worst that could happen is that I end up where I was right after my bad experience (btw that experience wasn't my first experience, it was just a bad one that ruined pot for me), and the best that could happen is that I achieve my goal of enlightened living.

I've tried to explain my thoughts to my doctor, and he seems to brush it off as a phase or something. When I was seeing a psychiatrist, he said I showed symptoms of manic depression but not enough to really pinpoint it on a specific disorder.
To this day, I still honestly believe that I might just be living in some sort of fragmented reality, or a matrix-esque program. But I have learned to embrace that and use it to my advantage, even though to be honest the thought of everything be fake/not real leaves me feeling empty, alone, sad, and scared.

Thoughts? Am I in it for the wrong reasons, based on your experiences and views on it all?

Honestly, I would say a vaporized DMT experience would be significantly more safe than either an eighth or half an eighth of mushrooms or whatever. At least if things do go poorly you're not stuck at the bottom of a metaphorical psychedelic well. I think DMT may have the potential to bring back some light into your life. My recommendation is that when you do try DMT, to make sure that you're not anxious or anything at the time. Make sure to be in a good mood in a quiet and safe setting and you should be fine. A lot of people get anxiety from weed that don't necessarily get that anxiety from psychedelics. If you do decide to make acquaintances with DMT, I would say you should look up an extraction tek, get the supplies, and get to work.

Hello Bacon.

I am sorry you had that experience with PCP it should alway be a choice. I have never tried or would entertain trying that particular tool. I wholeheartedly agree with Tetra regarding the spirituality of mushrooms the four hour duration can be trying for some. I only had a bad experience once and it was all my fault. The gradual onset to peak is gentle and non invasive.

I also love hearing LD stories I have been in apprentice for years. With frustrating and wonderfull results some of the best are similar in type to your story. I have been interviewed, visited, led, placed in bizarre circumstances etc etc all the time there is a watcher present either directly or off to the side. It can be amazing and frustrating when you dont get the message till you wake and realize your responses should have been different. I am never disrespectful (i dont think I could be) I just miss certain nuances of interaction/interpretation.



EDIT: I was away from comp for a few while writing this and saw your second post. I would keep on doing LD. If THC has profound effects on you then DMT could really twist your panties. Its not so much duration and metabolizing it getting shot of a cannon. I am no stranger to psychedelics and first real DMT blastoff scared me.

If you’re expecting DMT experiences to be anything like dreams, you’re in for quite a surprise.

Hi bacon,

Its too bad about your first marijuana experience, but it can be anxiety producing if one is not a daily smoker. I personally would recommend that you DO NOT try smoking DMT. Given your history, and your current mental stability, you wouldn't want to risk it.

In my experience, DMT doesnt usually give you anything spiritually, it simply can act as a catalyst, in reality its YOU who chooses to work on your spirituality.

If you have your heart set on trying a psychedelic, heres what i have to say. Theres no rush. Work on yourself, mature, physically, mentually, and spiritually. Learn more, read, talk to people. And try ayahuasca. If you really want to cut straight to the core, that is my advice. Give yourself time, and plan a trip to peru, do it with a shaman.

I know that may seem daunting, but trust me more time beforehand working on issues, spirituality, meditative techniques, etc. will go a long ways on how much you get out of the experience. Energy in = Energy out.

If you take shortcuts and think you can mix some chemicals together, smoke a little powder the next day, and become enlightened and change your life, its possible, but less likely than if you put alot of time and effort into a real sacred experience.

I would recommend talking to a psychiatrist and see if he thinks you are ready mentally/emotionally for it, as it is usually an EXTREMELY life shattering experience.

Please read our Health & Safety section!!

Its good that you're able to open up, and i think that talking to members here is a really good idea too!
Best Wishes freind.

Its hard to find on the streets, but mescaline may be something to look into.
At a light dose I found it very gentle, euphoric, grounding. The visuals were subtle, but very meaningful. It warmed my heart, it was very manageable. Not so overpowering nor uncomfortable like acid and mushrooms.
Maybe extracted mescaline would be a good first trip if your feeling anxious or fragile.

Smoked DMT your first trip would be very heroic of you bacon, but its not the smoothest psychedelic ride to start with.
Its easy enough to get cactus and prepare. What I did was not extraction per say, but it took away the aspect of vomit and body load that comes with consuming the whole cactus. http://www.shroomery.org...ber/8078524/fpart/1/vc/1

I don't necessarily agree that it's always "YOU" who chooses to work on your spirituality. For me personally, when I started my endeavors with the molecule, I had no spiritual intentions whatsoever. It was once DMT started showing me things beyond my wildest dreams that I started questioning some of the deeper questions of the universe and trying to get more in touch with myself. That's what DMT did for me.

Also, granted I may not have done it with a shaman, but when I took ayahuasca, there was never a time when I felt more like I was legally insane. I felt like I had gone off the schizophrenic deep-end (and I'm not schizophrenic). I was at her mercy for the greater part of 8 hours. I think the 10-minute version would be much more safe. He's looking for a change, for a spiritual experience. I think he is in it for the right reasons.

Never met a shaman who works with freebase dmt. I met a sketchy shaman at rainbow gatherings who use it for cosmic fun kind of, but a really good curandero I met said not to use the molecule.

I've felt the 'download' with the molecule, where I didn't really have a choice about what I was going to learn.

Usually I can just not focus on the blast off if I'm not feeling it. I can hold back if I want too early, but once I start to dream, I'm on the ride.
And once that happens, I practically have no control where its going.

Just because the shaman doesn't use freebase doesn't mean it can't provide a spiritual experience as well

The experience you described sounds like much of the last year for me. after doing the spice I could barely get to sleep for 3 months because each night I thought my heart was going to stop. It has taken a lot of intergration work, but I have finally gotten to a really good place in life. I have not gone back to the spice, but have been working with lucid dreaming/astral projection. Both those sound like they would be good things to look into for you.