Hello family!

SWIM thought they would share the story of his/her first true breakthrough. SWIM worked themself up to this point over a couple of months (SWIM has been working slowly with this material). SWIM believes pyschedelics in combination with other events in SWIM's life has led to a lot of anxiety. SWIM has not given up on these divine tools but rather slowed down.

SWIM broke into these uncharted territories very quickly. Upon entrance SWIM was greeted by a large community of sentient creatures. This community urged SWIM to come along, join, play, let go, and enjoy the travels. However, SWIM's anxiety kicked in. SWIM knows to go with the flow, let go, and surrender, but SWIM was unable. SWIM opened their eyes, searched for anything that could ground him/her. The music changed to something SWIM has never heard before, there was an undeniable presence of this communities' energy/vibrations/force in the room. Upon this retrieval this community shunned SWIM and retracted the initial welcoming feel. SWIM has been to timid and anxious to go back since...

This was an extremely powerful experience, more so than all the lsd, mushrooms, mdma, ect... Although these other psychedelics, and the psychedlic community, guided SWIM from an atheist into a believer of the divine spirit, no other material has been so powerful in affirming this feeling. This first breakthrough definitely did it...

SWIM is slowly trying to work back up to this level. The experience was too strong to not go back, however SWIM needs time, and most importantly time to work on SWIM's life and centering SWIM's. Letting go has been a difficult task for SWIM for a while now, a task which seemed so easy in SWIM's younger years.

To the elves: I will be back

To the Nexus community: Namaste!

SWIM looks forward to deeper exploration. Desire More Truth family!!!

-Coyote

Congrats on having a strong experience. Indeed next time work towards letting go. Personally when im so aware of normal reality that I cant let go, I wouldnt say its a breakthrough but some people may define it differently.

I think the important part here is that your relationship with the substance is respectfully developing, and that you are learning the lesson that you need to let go when during the experience, and to take care of integration and dedication to your normal life once youre back. These are very important things and im glad you realize them.

Good luck on your future travels!

Coyote we are in the same place. That exact thing happened to me I posted it day before yesterday. Best of luck and take care. I am curious did this experience affect your spirituality negatively? It did mine I have dwelt on it ever since. I dont know if I am silly believing this but this experience and my control issue humbled me. I felt closer and closer to enlightenment lately and this experience made me realize how far from that truth I am. I am an unenlightened Bodhisattva.

I wish you luck and safe travels.

Could you please elaborate on how elves/sentient creatures affirmed your belief in a divine spirit?

Since my second breakthrough I have had a sense of being shunned also - the first so welcoming, so much love, the second was like I was being shown something, but due to my friends laughing or whatever and bringing me "back" I felt a sudden shift in attitude. Attentions thrown on me with disapproval.
I've travelled a few times since then, a couple quite nasty, a couple as a mere observer, once with the weight of the most important knowlege available but entirely unable to be recollected.
Only the last was somewhat more... Inviting but it kind of just felt rediculous and all of which I have also felt my eyes opened abruptly and then held put by "her". A few times I remember saying something to the effects of "she has me, there's nothing I can do".
I do also remember a few times thinking I would be stuck for all eternity in this state but remembering to surrender saved me any more discomfort.
Most ofthese times on my way back I feel an urge to vomit. Something black from within.

I think it is telling me to let go of somthing inside.


One thing that I attribute all these things to is that the spice was not very clean nor made by me. Felt a bit ghetto and the "machine" of choice was also a little rough.

Some new fresher cleaner spice is soon ready and with a vapor genie I hope to try to make further contact and continue my journey.

I fear not their wrath, but welcome it as lessons to be learnt and overcome until I am back in the embrace.

Namaste!
My advice would be to be careful and respectful. That means in the literal sense, respecting a powerful substance by treating it as such. I don't mean respectful in a hippydippy unseen forces way. But that too if your so inclined.

Set and setting are rather important, but its also tricky in the sense that you can build up the experience too much before blasting off so that you develop fear.

Its tricky.

Happy travels!

Congratulations getting a breakthrough! I find that the important thing is to have the will to stay there forever, or as long as they will let you. I find that if i even think about wanting to come back that they begin to disapprove and i have to direct my thoughts elsewhere.

Why did you want to come back?

I too needed much time to correct my life after my first breakthrough, i didn't know when i'd be able to return. Then one day, I was in a very odd mood. Just drudging along. So i worked up the courage to take an enormous hit that flung me hundreds of times deeper than my last breakthrough. (Yay) Ever since that breakthrough i've had much less anxiety to return. Still anxious, but i know as long as i do what they say i need to i'll be fine in their hands.

Next time when you return, want to stay there. Want to leave this place and forget about this world and go with them. And did you say you had music on? IME terrible plan for the first breakthroughS. Silence rocks, they play their own music. Lastly, try your hardest to project YOUR love onto THEM. Tell them you love them. Make them feel it and they will be happy.

Good luck to you! I hope you overcome your preflight anxiety as i did. Like xtechre said, don't build it up too much.

And cannot wait to hear about your next breakthrough
Peacefullness

Congratulations!

I've been getting deep messages, but without a true breakthrough still. One of the messages I received was that there are so many things to hold you to earth.

As someone who struggled with suicidal thoughts after a trauma, this felt like a comforting message and I've worked to incorporate it as a positive truth. So the idea of anxiety makes sense to me, too.

I wish you lots of luck in your journeys and hope you find the ability to receive whatever is available to you soon.