well..cant really say why im trying to write this up right now..im peaking on mushrooms and spent the last half hour growling like a bear and now i need something else to do..

2 nights ago I had my best ayauhuasa ceremony yet..

I drank a brew of 30 grams ceilo vine, and 4 grams mimosa..i also threw in all the old contents of my previous brew as well as I was brewing..just to get that last bit of alks out..

So anyway..each week that I drink I am falling farther and farther down that rabbot hole into the world that is ayahusca..everything I do..everything i feel and see from day to day is now filtered(or unfiltered) though the lens of those experiences..

Ayahuasca to me means life.

So I drink..I drink for love, I drink for light..

First set of caapi dreams came on within 15 minutes..

I am insoem place allof a sudden talking to this man..we are onthe subject of death..he looks at me, very matter of factly, without any sense of cynicism in his voice "we all die"..

I open my eyes..think about that for a minute or so and lay back down..

I am now a littel girl..or at least I think I am..either than or she is somehow connected to me..this part goes beyond language somehow..it was liek there was a fractal wave inbetween 2 dimensional planes..this girl was somehow connected to me in the future, or maybe she WAS me..but I was feelign that event in the present(past)..

I sit up..think abotu that for a second..lay back down..

The 3rd and last of the sequence of caapi dreams is about love..Love is like a waveform..its related to conciousness in some way..I felt it..felt all of it..it washed over me(kinda is now as well due to the mushrooms )..I WAS love..I exprienced a moment of it that lasted an eternity..and I understood it..

Next I felt the mimosa start to really kick in and the cappi dreams ended as i felt suges of energy buiding..this face was all focussed on the music..the wide spectrum of sounds all surrounding me was soo nice..like bathing in the sonic rays of indian citars and drums..

So this is abotu an hour in now, maybe hour and 15 or so..when I load up the pipe with some vilca changa..

I tok 3 large hits and went to my bed, sat down cross legged infront of the speakers, closed my eyes in the darkness..

nnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...BAM..the carrier wave builds and for a moments i see it all comming..then it's liek a nuclear bomb expoding inside of me..the mimosa in the brew is potentiated x10..blasted into hyperspace just like vaped DMT..yet MORE visual becasue of the bufotenine..i see the most beaututiful thing ever..the chrysanthemum in this irridescent blueish purple hue..

My body starts to rythmically sway back and forth and cry with ecstatic rapture as I dissolve into hyperspace..I watchmy ego go as I becoem this vast alien thing..I can feel ayahuasca's spirit infused throughout all of it..the chrysanthemum grows into mayan/inca faces and creatures all swarming around..everythign is alive and im not inmybody anymore..I cant make out the confines of my head at all..its all just a vast swarming pool of hyerpace..

I felt like god..comic orgasm galore..

I had an epiphany..I am THIS..everythign I thought was confirmed..all of it..all of what i was seeing, experiencing is inside of me..THAT is what I am..THAT is what you are..THAT is what it all is..and god is fuckign beautiful..fear is pointless..this is life..this is us..live it up..

I dont know what else to say..im stoned on mushrooms been typing this up between bouts of insane laughing and animal like growling, periodically dancing around like a bear with my didgeridoo..

We all die..but ayahuasca is life.

Keep up your diligent work Fractal! Love reading about your travels with the vine.

fractal enchantment,

I think this is one of my favorites of your posts. Nice.

Peace & Love,
Pandora

I am that I am.
much love brother, many blessings as we all dive deeper

<3 bear dancer.

thank you.

that sounds like a very beautiful place you're in - thanks you, thank you, thank you

Great report, sounds incredible. Fractal, you make me want to try bufo every time i read one of your reports.

SYNC

you really took me there on that one brother. i loved every word of it.

L&G!!

I can fully relate to that and it's hard to say how hard and long I laughed at this sentence.

Sounds like a beautiful journey, brother! Will have my maiden journey with aya this weekend. Super excited



Haha, love hearing stuff like this too Makes a very nice sequence in my head.