Tried something new and smoked a changa joint w/ some pure harmine sprinkled in.. it felt very "heavy"

This heavy heavy but familiar feeling sets in and "she" (pachamama, often met entity for me?) again or some "mother" is
"with" me or I'm just tripping talking to something.

I've been trying to get off drugs and recently had a few days binging on them and with the last of them (benzos, 150mg+ valium over 3 days) but 12 within what I would consider "this day" with this being night after the end of the high but with a lot of bs still in me.

Lit up the joint, cherry on top got me to her right away. I cried and told her im sorry, she said it's alright pretty lovingly and also a jest of "you think I haven't seen worse" and I was like true.. I "spazzed" or "convulsed" the amount of times of the amount of pills I had taken that day. I smoked the j randomly when i felt i needed to

We talked about smoking more she said yes, she wants me to. I didn't that night (out of a bong) but she wants me to when cleaner was the message I got, the harmine heaviness was so intense I thought I was going to puke (estimated joint total dosage but smoked in different points of time, 50mg dmt, plenty of harmine and caapi leaf in the changa, changa is blue lotus and damania and mullien).

I've sense been on a rigid schedule to ween off this crap medically safely for my brain and well being and am truly not desiring to get high the way I was.

We'll see..

Anyway, anyone ever smoke changa joints? hows this ROI gone for you? in total I was in this experience at least 30 min, moderate but low amount of hyperspace visuals but definitely somewhere near the "border". Obviously with an entity, who I consider to be my spiritual mother.

I'm rolling another