what's green and turns red?
frog in blender
what's white and jumping from tree to tree?
a doctor vaccinating ticks
|
|
|
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick. From the unspoken
Grows the once broken
|
|
|
Forgive me if this one offends, its an artifact from a time when I didn't have a brain/mouth filter... still don't, I just have fewer things that might clog up a filter such as that.
So this baby seal walks into a club...
|
|
|
Dude, that baby seal one was too funny..... I feel like such a bad person, but it's awesome. anrchy wrote:Ringworm - "The jellyfish woman has no knee's" I'm not sure I understand why that was funny. I'll take your word for it tho. "We're selling more than a cracker here," Krijak said. "We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of happiness."
|
|
|
"Ah don't worry, It'ill be fun!" says the scientist to the monkey strapped to a rocket
|
|
|
Ringworm wrote:..... I feel like such a bad person, but it's awesome  RhythmSpring wrote:What's the difference between a duck Because one of its legs are both the same.
|
|
|
Error: No Keyboard. Press F1 to continue. My neighbour is stalking me. I saw him Googling me through my binoculars. On the other hand, you have different fingers. Peace Macre All things stated within this website by myself are expressly intended for entertainment purposes only.
All people in general, and users of this site are encouraged by myself, other members, and DMT-Nexus, to know and abide by the laws of the jurisdiction in which they are situated.
I, other members, and DMT-Nexus, do not condone or encourage the use, supply, or production of illegal drugs or controlled substances in any way whatsoever.
|
|
|
In the same vein as the "difference between a duck" joke, I made up this one: What difference do cats and dogs have in common? From the unspoken
Grows the once broken
|
|
|
RhythmSpring wrote:In the same vein as the "difference between a duck" joke, I made up this one:
What difference do cats and dogs have in common? The old common difference, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say: hyena or 2
|
|
|
I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there. "In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
|
|
|
"If I don't get to be an angel, can I be a family therapist up there?"
|
|
|
I'd like morning a lot more if it came later in the day. -- Me Images of broken light,
Which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on...
|
|
|
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent "In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
|
|
|
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer (no idea)! What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs in the woods? Fuct. what do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!!! (TThis one cracked me up for years) (¯`'·.¸(♥)¸.·'´¯  But suddenly you're ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you are alive and it is spectacular!
|
|
|
Why couldn't the Buddah vacuum in the corner? He didn't have any attachments! Convert a melodic element into a rhythmic element...
|
|
|
Deer jokes?! Ok then... have some cow jokes! lol What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef What is a cow favorite piece of art? The Moooona Lisa What do you call a cow that masturbates? Beef Stroganoff Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side "In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
|
|
|
My best friend is addicted to brake fluid. She says she can stop anytime.
|
|
|
There are two kinds of people in this world:
1. Those who can extrapolate complete information from partial data.
|
|
|
soulfood wrote:There are two kinds of people in this world:
1. Those who can extrapolate complete information from partial data.  « I love the smell of boiling MHRB in the morning »
|
|
|
What do you call a Chinese woman with a food mixer on her head??? BLENDA There are 10 types of people - those who understand binary and those who don´t. Life is a shit sandwich - the more bread you got, the less shit you eat.
|