I play a big old brass helicon. It looks ridiculous, sounds outrageous, and scares the shit out of even the most vicious, snarling, spitefull, aggressive and dangerous dogs. I play in a clown band called "Whats That Dreadfull Noise?". We never practice, we never have rehearsals, none of us are quite sure who is in the band and who is there to pelt us with rotting vegetables.