Ah ha ha ha - Then I guess my name today is FOOL !!!!

Just a thought on the power of the human mind.

I thought I was having trouble breaking through because I'd do this thing where I'd have a break through and promptly forget about it or push it out of my mind as 'not the breakthrough'.

This was a mechanism I was using to keep myself in a state of denial. I like the magic of DMT. I like the mystery. Convincing myself that I needed to chase higher doses and that I wasn't doing it right was a means I was using of maintaining my own illusions.

Then I'd have a break through and I'd be like wow, this is so amazing. I feel like I've been here so many times. Which of course I had, because I'd been pushing that place out of my mind.

Also I want to offer a different perspective on fear. I've found that the worst thing I can do with any emotion is deny it. I have anxiety, I have fear. DMT can be scary. It can show me parts of myself I like to hide from myself. I find it better to let go of 'supposed to be's' then it is for me to fight my feelings. If I'm afraid, so be it. A good friend of mine once told me that the difference between someone that's brave and someone who isn't isn't that the brave person has no fear, it's that they do things inspite of being afraid of them. I will agree though that panic can prevent a breakthrough but having fear and panicking are two different things and in my experience denial of my emotions is what tends to lead to me being overwhelmed by them.

I can relate to you about the conwuing of fears. I've heard plenty about people who fear death or facing themself. I don't have either of these fears. My fear is enduring suffering. I think I have been working on that feat while on dmt. Whatever your fear may be, it's great that you are learning from it. Good luck.