Thanks for sharing.
My previous question for emotions was mainly oriented after the trip ended, after back to alleged baseline, how it influenced your day(s) after. Because during the trip I consider emotions all a bit unstable.
Here you describe during and after, thank you.
Your 'after feelings' resemble quite the during emotions.
I can only recommend being observative about it all, and wave off positive or negative connotations to it, the brain tries to, I know. I've been in muddy layers too, and I believe it all has a function somehow even if I do not understand it. The traveler must accept these things as they come, or stay away, with dmt you are a warrior. Expect everything, expect nothing too. By being open and observative one can see without making conclusions. This way the 'story' get volatile and transformative. Pinning your attention to potential 'meaning' will feed it stronger. Sometimes we must face the dirt, the blubber, the soil, the dark, ... it can only be a stage for a while, eventually it runs out of fuel too, sooner if you don't fuel it yourself. It's a phase. As powerful as it looks, it's also as weak and thin like a wet paper slice. But sometimes this is what is presented, e.g. the boogeyman, inside we stay fearsome children a little longer than expected.
There are writings about
'the dark night of the soul' where
The only light in this dark night is that which burns in the soul. I believe 'this light' can be staying 'observative' if we grow out of the mystical christian origin.
The pulling and pushing feelings are recognizable too, and not able to sleep afterwards is very well known. No sleep after cacti and dmt.
I've went in with intends like: "If you want to toss me around, if you want to boof on me, if you want to squeeze me, whatever, well go ahead I'll be you snack if you want. And know what? I don't care." Especially those last words were meant to detach my attention from it, so I don't feed it longer myself than necessary.
Even in the case of literal sentient entities meaning bullying you, if you're able to carry an observative attitude mainly, they have less angle and hold on you. People have been singing away certain energies. Why are the icaro's so important to the shamans? It's choosing which energy gets fueled, and which not. All to an extend of course, sometimes there's no choice. But clinging on to observation, no more, stays pretty long an accessible asset at disposal.
Maybe you can relate to a phrase TGO made once:
TGO wrote:...If I were to describe what the entity looked like, I would say that he slightly resembled Zangetsu, the humanoid form of Ichigo's sword from the wonderful animated series, BLEACH except he was a much larger form. Dark tattered robes of black and white energy and unsmiling, unflinching characteristics. This entity was not malicious... I think...But it was incredibly stern, almost in a parental sort of way. Very strange and a bit unnerving...
On another note, measures to protect you can be felt like threatening if you don't understand them. In those contexts we don't know much tbh.
So what you experienced might be strictly normal phases within evolving. What you had is not dmt, it's just one slice of it, there are about an infinite other totally different slices too.
But if you suffer disturbing of sleeping pattern in the following days, leaving you tired during the day, or abnormal functioning during the day, this might be a red flag if you are compatible with the dose. Then again this could be just temporal adjusting too. It's up to you to decide. But know that you are not alone, that much of it sounds normal as a first shakes. I invite people to share other opinions if they have, this was just my 2 cents so far.