PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Wanted a breakthrough. Had brewed up multiple doses. Took all that was left.
(physical condition) Set: Healthy
Setting (location): In my room in bed
time of day: (12 Noon)
recent drug use: (None)
last meal: (Bananas the day of)

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (male)
body weight: (68 Kg)
age (22 years)
known sensitivities:None
history of use: (novice)

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): (Acacia Confusa and Syrian Rue)
Dose(s): (High dose Dmt and Rue)
Method of administration: (Hot Water oral DMT extraction)


EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00
Duration: (6 hours)
First effects: 0:15 minutes
Peak: (Not sure)
Come down:Not Sure
Baseline:Not Sure

Intensity (4): (use HRS-like scale i.e. 0-4: 0 = "Not at all;" 1 = "Slightly;" 2 = "Moderately;" 3 = "Quite a bit;" 4 = "Extremely."
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (3)
Implesantness: (4)
Visual Intensity: (4)
.
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: (0 ; None ; duration)
Afterglow: (4 ; Happy Glow ; for days)


REPORT
report:

This was a trip I had with acacia confuse and Syrian rue last summer, so it is not as fresh in my memory. I was alone. I had a milder trip recently to get into the right headspace to right this. This was my strongest psychedelic trip. I was “hyper slapped”. This trip did not occur in a linear fashion.

In this experience time became meaningless. All I felt was now and now was timeless. I felt my thoughts going backwards. I became trapped in a seemingly never-ending time loop. I screamed and pulled at my hair. I really fought hard and thought I was dying. I thought that I had killed myself at one point and was ashamed.

The red tentacled spirit being engulfed my field of vision with a barrage of multi fractal’s like red laden chrysanthemum jewels adorning an ever-infinite enveloping lotus flower embellished with the soul devouring consciousness eating spirt. I’m trying to describe metaphorically here. I always encounter her. She is alive.

At this point my visions of the spirits were very prominent behind my eyelids and I could see fractals red tentacled tracers with my eyes open. The millions of salient eyes staring at me, engulfing my whole being as they warped space with crescendos of formlessness. The ayahuasca analogue happens in waves with effects completely subsiding before hitting again full force.

I saw her in her true infinitely complex fractally form somewhat resembling a red octopus spider thing with so many eyes. I don’t usually get open eyed hallucinations unless the room is completely dark but I found even with my eyes open I could not escape her. This was during the day.

I would know what thoughts I would have in the future before they happened and go back in time and relive those thoughts over and over again. I thought that I would never return to reality. I began to wonder about how strange humans are.

We are these weird hairless monkey creatures and pretty-odd looking to be honest. Eyes and genitals are bizarre. I thought about how humans are really just animals and that the highest ideal a person can aspire to is to merge with the plant intelligence.

I forgot about pretty much everything it means to be a human. I was worried that if I forgot that I existed that consciousness would not persist. That I would be gone forever. This was my ego fighting back. Losing one’s ego is slow and painful to the psyche because there is a feeling of impending doom like a ship gone off course in a severe lightning storm in the vast oceans. We’re not who we think we are. Felt hyperrealism. When I tried to let go of fear the experience became a lot easier to deal with. You have to let go of fear. That is my best coping mechanism.

I think the spirits helped me to calm down but they still kicked my ass. I think our greatest enemies are ourselves. I understand why people quit psychedelics now but since I have had many mild experiences prior to this and encountered the same woman or Gaian mind I was not as afraid. I was pretty much glued to the floor for several hours with few intermittent breaks.

I repeated to myself never again over and over again. I did not feel so different from my parents and siblings. I felt like we were all the same soul but with different ego. I asked myself “who am I” and pretty soon I no longer had an answer and my ego was vaporized.

Everything I thought I knew about myself and the world pretty much dissolved. I found myself in a kind of purgatory for a while fearing that I would lose my ego. This was terrifying, but the emotional centers of my brain eventually wondered why I was so scared to begin with.

“Just love others that’s all that matters” I repeated to myself. I felt my heart chakra opening and the spirits just would not let go as they engulfed me with love and bliss.

Here is my own speculation and I have reconstructed this experience while reading through the forums and other trips. I think I left this world altogether and went with the spirits to a hyper dimensional timeless realm on a quest to remember that “I” existed again, to a DMT world. I was stuck in that place in the meat locker.

I had the eerie feeling that I had been there before and there were other beings. They have a great sense of humor-those beings. This part of the trip was unfortunately blocked from my memory. I thought about Jesus and how he must have such a great sense of humor too. I am not Christian either.

My ego stubbornly remained intact as if attached to my consciousness by a single strand of thread, yet I felt true disillusionment with the ego. The separation from my ego must have been so traumatic that I was not allowed to remember the post-ego loss experience and that is why my report is not eloquent or very illuminating. I think maybe I journeyed somewhere deep within the confines of my unconscious mind.

I feel that I am still in that place tripping. And I could not stop laughing hysterically about how we are all made of love. And yet simultaneously I was terrified I mean, what are the chances of that? It’s really just one big miracle man. That oral DMT is a means for interspecies communication between humans and plant spirits/aliens and that world governments do not know this. They showed me that the afterlife is a real place and that our actions on this earth matter and have consequences.

But it is like how a father feels for a newborn child. They laugh when we make seemingly big mistakes to us on this plane of existence. Our relationship with the plant spirits/higher souls is such. We think we are so advanced. These plants are far more advanced spiritually and intellectually at least in synchrony with the human mind-consciousness construct.

I felt an infinite thought loop which never seemed to end but infinitely small as well. Like the same moment repeating for what felt like forever yet taking not much time at all. I would go back in time to when I had a thought and think it again thereby rendering time meaningless. This was very unsettling. Time and space warp backwards.

This is analogous to my perception of consciousness which is that it never began and will never end so it is looping. I was worried that I would never come down to baseline and that I would just become permanently trapped in that moment tripping forever lol. No Hector, you should not have taken so much I said to myself. The consequence of this is that you will forget that you exist Hector. Oh noooo I screamed.

Overdosing on DMT is not such a big deal I thought, later, and I started laughing hysterically. I thought people that are atheist or agnostic are so wrong. Of course there is an afterlife.
I realized that time has no beginning and that it has not end. We have rational reductionistic minds which cannot fathom the vastness of existence. The truth is that reality is stranger than fiction.

We live in a universe which has existed forever and it doesn’t make any sense to our mortal minds. When we die I think we return to the source. I think that we are all divine beings and just different manifestations of the same being but I still believe in individual awareness. This is a paradox.

When the tentacled spirits had arrived earlier in the experience there was strange “buzzing”. It is like strange arcane frequencies like how a UFO sounds. They showed me that I would be ok when I was terrified and filled me up with love. This was very euphoric. The elves don’t speak to me with words but in vibrational frequencies. One tunes in to a higher octane.

I also was forced to confront underlying psychological issues from an experience in childhood which is too personal to discuss on these forums. I am not bothered by it now though. Also, 7 years ago I had mental health issues as a teenager. I was on all these anti-psychotics and psychotropic antidepressants for months and I just snapped one day and tried to kill myself.

Thankfully, I survived unharmed. The spirits made me directly experience what would have been the consequences of that if I had succeeded. And the shame and humiliation that I felt following that which reverberated into the present. That it was projected onto me by others, by society, and not my burden, not my fault. I think psychedelics have great potential to heal emotional wounds.
Certainly, it is possible to go far deeper than I have. Oral DMT is such a great medicine because you cannot leave the trip feeling egotistical about it. When I finally snapped out of it I was left unsure of what had transpired over the past hour or so. I think it was just so overwhelming that I fainted or lost consciousness as some point.

I was laying down the whole time. I was shaking all over. I got amnesia from the peak. I want to take psychedelics until the day I die. This is work is left unfinished. Thank You.

Any advice?

Wonderful report! I can relate to the entire experience! Thank you for sharing!

Advice? None. You are on point my friend!

It is very interesting to me how we receive similar messages from hyperspace. Something to be said for that. I am always grateful for these positive messages and they will remain with me forever. It's powerful stuff!

Thanks for the smile! Felt good to read that!!

Amazing report. They only come along so often like this one, as far as the writing goes - the content inside. Agree with so many of your points, and just don't agree, but I feel it every single day. Thanks for writing this.




That's when the gettin get's good..




Every single time I'm there. We've never left.




The joke's on us. Surprise!





A love that knows no limits.





Forever and ever.





When you have 'that' experience, it seems to become an inalienable knowing, an inalienable feeling that becomes next to impossible to shake [ime]. We defy words, life defies words, subjective experience defies words.

The name and form show, so easy to get caught up in the parade of appearance of opposites. At the end of the day - all these opposites - they all seamlessly melt under the One, the inherent Mystery that their own existence entails. We are this reality.





Learn to love them waves - in all their varying forms, intensities, and levels. They're you! <3

I really appreciate the encouraging responses friends. It is so hard to truly articulate these psychedelic states. This experience has been the catalyst for a paradigm shift for me I am now enamored with nature and the world appears to be a more magical place. I still have my own problems but I am trying to be a better man. I also now have even greater respect for these plant medicines after witnessing what they are truly capable of . It is so satisfying to encounter like minded people on these forums. I know lots of others members have been where I've been. I am still very much a novice and want to continue taking these medicines for a long time.

I think the "spirit" I talked about was my guide. I had a more mild experience a week ago and she was still with me.

Yeah, definitely hard to articulate. Mise'll try I suppose, as limited as we are though in description and the ability to pull clearly from memory.

I like to think at times that we do articulate it to a degree [which I think's the case imho] and do it decently so, though when I'm hit hard, when I'm there fully, completely, without question - one of the first things I always think to myself briefly before being annihilated, as it's ramping up 'hahahahaha, all these years, all these attempts at wording this experience, completely and utterly laughable, so much so that it clearly becomes nothing other than a flimsy attempt and a well-played joke; this place, it's far beyond my grasp in terms of description, though in the same vein it's directly felt and 110% apprehendable in the here and now through direct experience.

DMT [and other psychedelics, specifically tryptamines] I feel in one aspect is some form of ancillary, for what though I'm not really sure.

We're all novices tbh, when paired against these experiences, no matter how many times I go there's always that 'next time' that could put me off for good [though you usually always come back sooner or later]. I feel that the depth of these experiences is more powerful than we're personally capable of handling [though everyone's different and everyone handles and receives these things differently], infinite depth, though limited human monkey primate.

At a certain point with these experiences they have to be respected - as far as the sheer power of the experience goes, can have ya on your knees in no time hehe.

And I feel you on nature, I have my favorite forests to go to all year round, after I started really working with psychedelics and DMT, it completely amped up my love for being outdoors and being in the woods hiking, I spend alot of time doing this, there's nothing I rather be doing tbh. Glad to hear that it greatly shifted your love for nature and directly apprehending it's ancient magicalness.

Cheers

What an incredible depiction of the ineffable. I find it so difficult to put these ego shattering experiences into words and you did it so eloquently.

Thank you Hector

Thanks Tatt and DoingKermitt

Yeah it can have you on your knees begging for mercy, or in the fetal position Oral ayahuasca can be a very harsh teacher. She is like a lion stalking her prey (you) before she pounces. I don't know if I will ever have the courage or the shear nerve necessary to ever go that deep again with this wonderful plant ally. But give it enough time and I may very well find myself in those same spaces again especially when dealing with crude concoctions. This stuff is truly an alchemical sacrament. People think that it is a metaphor. They do not understand that it is really going to happen and it is really going to happen to you and it can be frightening and ecstatic. It’s like having an orgasm all over.

Thanks for the great report Hector.


This typo/malapropism particularly made me smile