Back in March had an unpleasant experience trying to breakthrough for the first time. Resulted in me puking up cubes in a sub-breakthrough. What people refer to as the waiting room, or it's sometimes described as child's play room.
Since then like the time you were sick after eating too much of your favourite food I've been really put off. Limiting myself to small doses that still send my heart racing.
One day after meditation, loaded 10mg into standard pipe. Once the tryptamine tone got loud my heart was racing, stopped inhaling but closed my eyes. CEV were very faint like the shapes you see when closing your eyes tight.
2nd hit, same again, but decided to experiment with something. In other DMT trip reports people have said certain things that improved there experience. So I went for it.
in my head;
"god is with me..."
"god loves me..."
"I forgive god (for all the pain of human existence)"
"I forgive myself.."
"hope others can forgive me.."
With each sentence I felt a positive rush of energy, it was weird. Back down eyes open still have some left in the pipe. That's how small these hits were!
Take the 3rd hit and this time it's different. Eyes closed, Instead of geometric shapes morphing see the shape of a room, still very faint. At the end of the room is the unmistakable outline of
Alex Grey's art work. Then neon green particles but without the glow, come dancing into my vision. It's one entity mostly swarming in a circular fashion.
It would quickly swarm into a ball and become the perfect image of the ball at end of pipe full of DMT smoke being ripped. Sound of me smoking it too.
After couple images of my pipe, it continued to dance and would pulse with light. When it pulsed I felt strong sexual attraction to the neon green particle entity like it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.
To me this was a sort of encouragement to do DMT. First the entity tried telling me directly smoke more, when I wouldn't it showed that this would have been one of those sexul dmt experiences. This is what would have happened had I broken through.
About a month later did the same thing again, this time on the 3rd hit everything went white with a rotating image of the lotus flower. Didn't feel the love of the universe or anything. Again just seems to be a preview of what I could have experienced if I'd blasted off.
With a still mind it seems you can get a lot more bang for your buck with even 10mg.