Greetings, Nexians!
I am unsure whether I should post this here because of the ketamine involved or whether this might be more appropriate in the Lysergide section. If I need to move, please let me know.
The following experience is something I have been trying to make meaning of for a few months now, and at this point I don't know if I can on my own.
DISCLAIMER: Do not try to combine Ketamine with psychedelic substances unless you are VERY experienced with both. I am NOT JUST SAYING THIS, this isn't like DMT where you can overshoot it and be back in 5 minutes.
Setting: My apartment, alone, 3pm
Substances: LSD - 3 tabs at 0:00, Ketamine, repeated at about +3:00 hours after ingestion of LSD
After having to stay clean for an internship all summer long, I could not wait to get a chance to put my gram of confirmed S-isomer Ketamine to good use. I had been anticipating this day for months. To prepare for the occasion, I had cleaned up my apartment to pristine order, eaten healthy all week, worked out, and rented 2001: A Space Odyssey for visual stimulation. I find that good cinematography can really add to certain types of ketamine experiences.
I also had a few hits of some really decent blotter. I find that psychedelics really color and guide a ketamine experience, LSD in particular. Mushrooms are great with it too, but makes the K feel so artificial. The sterility and logical focus of LSD meshes with the synthetic computer world of K much nicer, IME.
So, I eat the blotter. I burn some incense, eat some frozen fruit, put on some relaxing bossa nova music and try to start thinking about all that had unfolded over the summer. I had just moved into my new apartment days previously, and was at a great place to reflect on where I have been and where I am headed.
When the acid starts kicking in, I turn on 2001 (My favorite movie). I hadn't seen it in awhile, so I first watched it all the way through as I was riding up to my peak.
After it had ended, I rushed like a child running to the family room on Christmas morning to my bedroom and retrieved my bag of K. With a snortle of my nose, I was about to visit a place even more lucid and bizarre than DMT hyperspace. Behold: THE PSYCHEDELIC K-HOLE. I had never done s-isomer k before, or ever combined K with this heavy of an acid dose before. But if it was anything like my other experience with this combination, it was going to be quite a treat.
I put 2001 on again, muted the sound, and put on my favorite composer, Les Baxter. I find that aside from the beginning scenes on earth, the loungey aesthetics actually work with the retrofuturistic, space age mod feel of the cinematography freakishly well.
I eagerly divided the gram up into 2 even lines, and then divided these 2 lines up by 10 to result in convenient 50 mg bumps. You don't want to overdo the K with this combination, at least at first; ease your way in.
I had my first bump. Ahhhh, the refreshing taste of uncut K. I think it tastes exactly like it feels... clean, sterile, comfortable, and luxurious. Very shortly afterwards, I noticed the air "thickening" around me like it usually does. The hues that were previously leaking off of all of the distinguished forms in my vision are condensing into some sort of hazy maroon alien church. Not vividly, but like there was a hologram of that room superimposed inside my living room. I see faint outlines of said aliens; who are all looking at me through the veil. I feel as if I am underwater, the air in my chest pulling me towards the surface. Antigravity, engage!
The anxiety deadening effects of K compelled me to do another bump. Time being so dilated, I thought I had waited a solid 5 minutes for the second bump to kick in but wasn't where I wanted to be, so I did another. And, just for the heck of it, another. Instantly, I started feeling the previous bump. Uh oh, I thought to myself. I was at the scene in 2001 where all of the business people are sitting at a table in the space station, discussing business things. I began to project my own anxiety about what was about to go down onto all of their faces, which were now all plastered with "uh oh" expressions, as that single scene stretched on for what felt like literally an hour. Watching them talk, I saw the syles of everything start to rapidly change. I had the unshakeable sensation that I had lived out this almost exactly the same moment and infinite amount of times, and was experiencing of the united moments of eternity of this almost identical moment. It was still the same scene. Welp, here we go.
Sitting on my couch, I had my feet resting on a leather foot table. I could intensely feel the smooth leather against my skin, along with all of the indents in the top of the cushion. My hands were resting on my very textured couch. I then felt myself literally float off of my couch and be crushed by what felt like a garbage compactor machine made with my foot table with the leather and indents. I could feel my face, arms, and torso being pressed into an infinitely thin membrane by these multiple invisible leather foot table surfaces. I also felt areas of my body being pushed up against my softly textured couch. Eventually, I was totally compacted, and could not honestly remember what it felt like to be inside a body.
Around this point, my visual field has entirely collapsed. While I was being compacted, depth perception became UTTERLY meaningless and led up to being pulled away from my entire visual field, which had become something like a movie screen. I became something akin to a disembodied eye, kind of like in Halo 3 when you fly around a scene in theatre mode. My visual field was still in view in front of me, but it was hard to see, and extreeemely fragmented at this point; it had glitched out eerily similar to a computer. Replicas of certain images dragged around everwhere, boxes within boxes, pixelation and distortion, it was insane. Outside of my movie screen, was an infinitely large organic computer, constantly moving and shifting. Parts rearranging, energy flowing through circuits that I could see, bleeps and bloops, everything. IT WAS SO UNBELIEVABLY LUCID.
It occurred to me at this point that my entire of experience of reality is pretty much a computer simulation. What is an experience of reality but energy coursing through our psychological circuits? Every memory we have can be triggered by electrical impulse coursing through different regions of our brain, in a particular order. How are our memories any different than data, other than loss of fidelity?
As I looked down this infinite corridor, I saw BILLIONS of movie screens that looked practically identical to the one I was pulled away from. Could these have been parallel universes? What if with each conscious process we make, we go to a particular universe; even though all of the other possibilities do exist somewhere? What if there is a path of universes where you get hit by a bus, and also a path where you become the most famous rock star in history? I think there are actually quantum physics theories that have something to do with this.
Anyways, after floating around in this space for what seemed like quite a while, I started being sucked back to a particular movie screen, which it might be worth mentioning felt like I different one that I had pulled away from. I was then in this sort of extremely confusing limbo world, where I was watching myself watch a movie of myself watching 2001. It really felt like what was happening in the movie was my actual life. In fact, while zonked in this confusing state, there is a scene of highly advanced technology scanning itself with a red laser beam. I thought that i was one of the computers, but I wasn't doing my task, so I had to be perfectly still and act like I was doing my task. Fried.
Slowly, I came out of the confusing state, even though I was still feeling pretty dissociated. It felt like reality was lagging. My music sounded all jumbled and awkward. The movie was very obviously speeding up and slowing down at random.
I was baffled. But with still lots of K left, and the anxiety totally vanished from everything at this point, I did another two bumps. This was after an adequate break where I was able to ground myself adequately.
This time, my room started shift shaping. Dimensions became meaningless. My room would transform from an elfish style residence to a space age bachelor pad, to what I percieved as my future family room, to a hotel lounge in japan, to my apartment in an alternate universe, to some kind of hidden area of a house where I watched house guests walking about with fancy looking glasses of wine. It was always in flux.
Next, I started "flying" around to different areas of my apartment. Some of these areas actually don't exist; I was in rooms that simply arent built into my apartment. Sometimes, the paint of the wall changed. Sometimes, there were additional fixtures and decorations that I have never seen before in my life, but strangely they were very much in my personal tastes.
What is even weirder is sometimes, I would "materialize" as a human in these areas, and actually feel everything in the room as if I were in real life! Including all of the things that don't exist in my apartment in this universe! What in the heck?
It got even freakier when I "materialized" for the last time, and stayed in the physical realm. I started this segment of the experience on my couch; and now I was standing upright (somehow?) directly in front of my TV, a decent 6 or 7 feet away. WHAT IN THE HECK.
I had a few more rounds of this, but none were anywhere near as interesting as the first two. I am still at a loss for words with what happened.
What do you guys think? I would reaaaally like to hear your guyses thoughts on what I experienced. Was I pulled out of the matrix? Was I jumping into different dimensions/timelines?
Much love,
Sunshine
Once in a while, you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.