Today occurred the most profound experience of my life, so far. Mother Ayahuasca helped lead me to this purging experience... to think Ayahuasca can work so profoundly merely days after the psychedelic experience was over.

Last night, the energy in my Heart Chakra was so intense that I thought I would shatter from it. It certainly took all of the physical energy I had left to even move.

Today was more of the same, except this time, it felt like there was a blockage so dense that the energy that was attempting to burst through that it felt extremely unpleasant and painful. All three of my spirit guides, tiger, crow and guardian, protected me so that the energy didn't explode outwards into disasterous physical expression. They told me repeatedly that I would be fine, and that it would eventually be over.

Late this afternoon, I intuitively felt very strongly that I must meditate, and weirdly, masturbate. It released a ton of energy, and very soon afterwards, I felt like my remaining energy and life was ebbing away... unlike last time, during my encounter with my Shadow, where it stabbed me with dark energy, this time, it was arrows of pure white energy. Two of my spirit guides, tiger and guardian, stood on either side of me, grabbed my hands, and through them, tethered me with their energy. Death Himself also seemed to come, and asked me if I was fine with what came next. Feeling empty, I told him to take me. Death stabbed me, and my frail energy and life blew away, scattering like ashes, until all that remained was a small nub in my chest. That was all that was left of my existence, though I could still also feel my body and senses still working. An odd experience.

After a while of this... something seemed to come back to life. Energy slowly came back into my body and self. Except... something was different. I wasn't myself. I was empty of any positive emotion, bitter, derisive, angry.

Then, the tiger spirit, without warning, grabbed me from behind, and stuck a huge paw through my Heart Chakra region, and pinned me strongly with her gaze. From my Heart Chakra poured a new sensation I seemed to have forgotten from so long ago that I have no memory... it was Self-Love. My body was ablaze and brimming with this Self-Love. From my Heart Chakra welled a bottomless sensation, a most utterly sublime and most beautiful sensation; the blockage from before was completely gone. The energy flowed so strongly and freely, without end. With this power... I feel like I can overcome any kind of negative energy. My ego was powerless against the Rawness of it...