Hello!

A report on my psilohuasca experience of the 19th.

DETAILS

/Substances:
3g Syrian Rue (finely ground powder, washed down in a few gulps with milk), followed 10min later (12pm) by 2.3g of Psilocybe (Cubensis?) (mixed with peanut butter & maple syrup, quite a treat)

/Duration: 12 hours from admin. to baseline (12pm to 12am)

/Other:
No food approx. 16h prior, Weigh 140lbs, Previous psychoactive/psychedelic experiences with LSD(1x), P. Cubensis(2g) w. Rue(2.5g as a tea), Oral DMT(11x)(Up to 17g of ACRB with 6g Rue), smoked DMT(5x), Salvia (2x), Cannabis (biweekly) and ground Syrian Rue (9.1g)

THE REPORT

The trip started in my wild & green urban backyard. My friend had taken 1.7g of shrooms (no Rue). It was a beautiful day with a few clouds and warm. Within 45min, the visuals started. They're always most beautiful right at the beginning (before the peak is reached). The clouds had a sort of moving snakeskin pattern, which became an agglomeration of concave pearlescent quarter-spheres (incredibly detailed), with the pearlescence seeming to move towards a central point in the agglomeration. Unlike anything I'd ever seen in any of my previous experiences (shrooms seem to be the only thing that really make me hallucinate, aside from smoked DMT sometimes). I lay down in the grass and marveled, and seem to have died: I was composed of nothing but awareness for a few minutes; I think I may even have become a flower. Soon though (approx. 1:45pm), my friend started noticing that "the grass looks sharp, everything looks sharp!" I was quite enjoying myself, but for her sake we moved inside.

The weather was starting to get nasty as was the trip. I was misinterpreting my friend's anxiety for annoyance, which made me anxious, which she misinterpreted for annoyance... A vicious circle which lasted the majority of the remaining trip.

Around 2pm, what can only be described as insanity started. Reality and myself were slipping away, and were both being rebuilt as some kind of cynical joke in which any positivity was a pitiful self delusion. All aspects of my past, and even my current actions and thoughts became embarrassing, stupid and worthless. Unlike with the one other really bad trip I'd ever had (6g Rue +16g ACRB tea), in which my thoughs just kept looping and every thing/space in the nightime basement wanted to end my existence, this was a very internal and clear minded trip, hence much more negative. It was as if my psyche was axed down the middle and stuffed with wriggling, very unhapy maggots. I also seem to have gone blind for about an hour, as in nothing I could really focus or see anything clearly. I also found it totally impossibly to lie confortably in bed. The visuals had mostly disappeared after about 4pm, though perception of size/distance was slightly distorted. Around 4:30 the insanity started to lift, replaced by the an incessant feeling that something had to be done. Whenever I did do something though, it seemed like I was doing it wrong, and that I should stop. Which would of course leave me feeling I needed to do somethinh else. This feeling lasted till around 11pm.

In conclusion, I think it was very good that my friend had taken a much smaller dose, so she could in a way act as my sitter. I'd redo a similar dose, though I would make sure set and setting were more conducive to a positive trip. I'd even be tempted to smoke some DMT goo during the visual part, just to see if perhaps I could finally breakthrough that way. Also, unless you actually enjoy Rue tea, eating the powdered seeds is probably the best way of administrating them, about 5min before whatever else you're taking.

Safe travelling!

Sorry to hear that it wasn't all pleasant. It sounded like the mushrooms served up a harsh lesson in humility. I get this sometimes myself, and I know what you mean. I wouldn't take it too seriously, or feel bad about yourself. You are, after all, an amazing undefinable being, affecting the entire world around you with every action you take. :-) The world will never be the same now that you are here!

Sounds deep. So how much would you say the rue increases the potency of the mushroom?

I've heard 10x with around 3g of the. Would you say that's accurate?

I don't know about 10x,but I'de say the experience was comparable in intensity to my first "formosahuasca" experience when I used 17g of Acacia cofusa bark with 3.5g of Rue (so maybe ~270mg of DMT activated orally). I think that maybe a 4-5x potentiation? It's also 3x longer tham a normal musnroom trip, so that's a factor to account for aswell.

I wouldn't call it lesson so much as I would simple call it insanity. I've had as many trips where, at the end, I've said to myself "Wow, what an incredibly beautiful experience" as I've had tripx where I say "well okay, that was just stupid. The mushrooms simply enable you to self delude yourself into any state of mind". I've yet to have a truly entheogenic trip, sadly.

Mushrooms et al.
But isn't that a great potential?
Suppose IF you find that rudder to steer, you could go anywhere
(lost on my rudder too on occasion, lol)
That rudder is not only within the experience yet extended in general life, with the experience as an amplified example.

I view self delusion as a more negative thing.. or at least subjectively negative. I'd prefer to know myself truly than having some false version of reality given to me. When the mushrooms say "your father is a horrible person etc.", and then, upon the trip ending, I find such a statement to be not only wrong but also opposed to the truth, I wonder. I was attracted to psychedelic because I though they would let me see everything beyond the bias of my ego. Instead, they seem to let me view the world more often than not through the lend of my own insecurities, but presented as some objective state of things.

I see and I also noticed amplified insecurities and inducing contradictions. I too have had revelations (even positive ones !) which I found afterwards as ftw? Rests us to take the weight of, taking the importance off these mind games and see them as "only that", and learning to distinguish them form intuition?

On another hand, I think it is part of intelligence to probe all possibilities even the odd ones, and better not be surprised when that happens. This in order to light out and underscore those that favor your path. Like when the idea passes of a bad father and found this to be un-true, the more you love him afterwards, kind of having your love to father being checked out on, put to the test. You prolly say that it was unnecessary

To dare to see and experience the opposites once in a while might have a function not clear to the daily mind. I trust there is some deal here beyond "erratic negativity without purpose". Just thinking out loud...

It doesn't seem like the rue really potentiated the visuals as much as it did the mind-set. I think with the right skillset this perhaps can also be lengthened? Breathwork, Yogic practice. More shrooms? XD Just a speculative guess. Maybe the psilocybin is not responsible but there's a mechanism involved in visuals that "runs out" after 6 hours. :O I think that's an interesting thought.



I remember this feeling! It makes me feel less weird, and simultaneously it also makes me curious of the nature of this feeling. Perhaps what 'Needs to be done' is meditation. I think that's a proper start.

The 'feeling' is a powerful motivator. I remember abstaining from going to the bathroom. Knocking on my friends door. Waiting for a friend to come. Which where all stupid things to do in hindsight, at the time it felt like this WAS my destiny to do this at the time. I think this is the same feeling, yet applied differently. And thought, fails to bring positive outcomes. Hence, this reinforces meditation as a valuable tool, don't you think?!

-- Alright, Peace. Sometimes the energies just don't really amount to much. Ur trip sounds kind of lame. But interesting still, ofcourse, we're talking mushrooms here!
Definetely hope that your not fretting this. Because as you say, there are badder times and there are glorious times with mushrooms. Just depends on the current Sate of affairs!!

Further to the two previous posts + general thoughts...

I agree that seeing the opposite of the truth can have seriois benefits. This is perhaps the most "valuable" part of psychedelics, for me.

As for the visuals, I haven't a clue why tbey didn't last longer too. Perhaps they did, but were to confused to even be recognized (the blindness part of the trip).
I also agree meditation would have helped, though I skeptical it would habe even been possible haha.

In hindsight, the set/setting were responsible for any negativity in the trip.

With Rue and shrooms i would recommend the opposite dosing method. Maximate the amount of Rue and take as little shrooms as possible.

I seem to react abnormal to Rue as in i have a high tolerance.
So i usually drink up to 6gr of Rue and eat 1gr of shrooms.
The trip is harsh and comes up fast, but most of it is over after 4hours. The stronger visual element only last 1-2 hours.
I've never had a long Rue+shroom trip.
My metabolism must be superfast or my Rue low on alkaloids.
I would recommend to others to drink at least 2-3 gr of Rue and start with half a gram of shrooms.
Its not as intense as the other way around, and the spirit of Haoma brings its own qualities to the trip, which i found much more managable even than shrooms alone.

I suppose it depends on what kind of a trip you're looking for. Personally, I can attest that 3g Rue + 2g of shrooms CAN be an utterly awesome experience for all of the 12h. Or things can go south very quickly, and then that's what you'll be stuck in for 12h. I think set and setting are particularly important considerations for any kind of psilohuasca undertakings

The idea of using 6g of Rue + 1g mush is a good idea ONLY if you have a high tolerance for both the Rue and the mushrooms. For many, 1g is already a pretty solid dose. Add 6g of Rue, and I can easily imagine your 4h trip being more like my 12h trip for someone else, with the large amount of Rue potentially causing a significantly longer trip.