Oh I'm so confused, I have to create a picture in words of what I think I'm like so you can judge me.
I'm a man, a serious man that has journeyed through life seeking ...seeking an illusion that is "myself"
Looking back over the experiences I have had I see a realisation that I understand that "this" life is finite in its present form but have been allowed to see that this form is not the whole and is not finite.
I came from humble beginnings and have returned to a humble life- washing dishes in a restaurant to make enough to eat and heat.
My home used to be home to 3 cows and some hay, now its my home while I still breath and move.
I chased money and material things for 20 or more years,never finding solace in the endless acquisition ,only a feeling of unfulfilled anxiousness, always living in the future instead of the now.
The ebb and flow of interactions between living entities is such a common thing that its ignored.
But its complexity and beauty is truly infinite if only we spend the time to see it ,your engagement with a pet is truly astounding but its just "normal" nothing special...
Layers of complexity each intertwined within and without each other through our senses our emotions our thoughts and our actions.
As I aged a kind of mental plaque developed over my mind clogging it and stopping it from absorbing information and experiences without tainting it with my preconceptions and the cynicism of a jaded mind worn down by life's incessant demands.
I left my career , chose a simpler path, read a lot , then stopped reading and just thought a lot , then stopped thinking and just looked a lot , then stopped looking and tried to just 'be' still trying that.....
You try it !
DMT blew away the cobwebs , rekindled the flame of desire, re awoke the joyfulness and amazement of this existence I call my life , it also scared the life back into me!
I'm glad to be me.
Infinite blessings to all who find this place - its hard not to sound like a hippy after your journeys so I gave up trying !!

Hello and welcome to the Nexus!

I can see it now...

"Got plaque in your brain? Try DMT! The world's greatest and most efficient brain cleanser!"



Anyway, it is good to have you here and I am glad to hear that you were able to rekindle some of that flame and hopefully you are feeling a bit rejuvenated! Be sure to check out the FAQ and the attitude page to get a feel for how this wonderful place operates! Also, if you feel so inclined, taking the questionnaire can help lead to a faster promotion to full membership (which allows you to post everywhere in the forum).

Anywho, welcome once again and may you find everything you are seeking here!

Have a nice day!

-The Grateful One-

Like the saying goes ¨life is about the journey not the destination¨.
Sounds like you reignited the flame of your journey and that is a good thing.
We are all ˝lost˝ and in search of that something but we cant quite put it what that something is until some event (entheogens etc) wakes us up and demands our fullest possible attention and we see, it has been there from the beginning... that ˝something˝
Sounding like hippy is a compliment in my book

Great intro and welcome to nexus brother!