The other day, for the first time ever, I took a moderate dose of MDMA that some friends had gifted to my girlfriend and I. When I say "the first time ever", this would be the first time I got to experience this chemical without the influence of others. Previously I've taken MDMA with shrooms and LSD, but never had I had the true "rolling" experience, well until then.

We took our doses at about midnight, and basically rolled all night listening to the Crystal Method. An intimate experience to say this least. When the drug first started coming on I began to notice colors pulling together in my peripheral vision, like mild tripping but only when I moved. Then my body start to feel, shall we say, tingly. When I saw the look on my girlfriends face, she was beaming. She had mingled LSD with her dose, so I know her experience was quite different. When I saw the dilation of her eyes I was immediately struck by how adorable it made her look, sweet, bubbling and beautiful. When I went to hug her on our leather couch I began to feel so much warmth and joy from the softness of her skin that I couldn't help but shiver with passion. Ecstasy indeed. While having this experience I remember constantly bringing her a cup of water so that she wouldn't get dehydrated and I tossed a blanket in the dryer to warm it up then I threw it on her. It was such a sweet night. I loved every second of it.

What I have always feared about MDMA is the hangover. I've spoken to many people, people who probably take it far too often, and they've told me about it having an unpleasant hangover. If anything I have felt the opposite. I had this experience on Saturday, and ever since then, I've felt rejuvenated, reborn. All of the anxieties I've had bottled up in myself have disappeared. I've felt clearer and more passionate than I've had in a long time. I think that chemical helped open up my own serotonin pathways in my head, letting me express empathy and love better to those around me better. I still feel incredibly happy, almost ecstatic at times. I can certainly see the therapeutic benefits it imparts. My thoughts after feeling all of this, is to not use this often at all, it seems like such a powerful chemical, that it's abuse could be tragic. But as a tool to reconnect with the love of the others around me, as opposed to the love of things around me, I found this experience to be invaluable.