How long have you believed these people are out to get you?
Are you aware that this is completely made up inside of your mind by fear itself?

Thank you very much for putting it this way.

Well only recently has all of this accumulated into something tangible.
I can say that I was very foolish and not careful for a long time. When I started to see the folly of my ways,

More and more things came up to begin haunting me.
I do try to inform myself that this is complete delusion, but the persistence with which my being has continued to apply fear has really made me consider other possibilities.

Nonetheless thank you because I do believe that it is a important step in this process for me to recognize that I Don't Know rather than continue to let myself dance around that.

I will remember what you have asked if another episode occurs. I don't want my mind to break and I am definitely pushing it.

We are definitely on the right path,
And if I am to make any progress I need to stop being a paranoid, delusional, self-validating hypochondriac.
Blessings.

Have an update:

Things have been going very well for me, been taking psilohuasca and formosahuasca for the past month or more.

Also since then I have taken HWBR and smoked salvia. I've become appreciative of the traditional mode of gastric suffering as a feature of entering into hyperspace. No plans to Smoalk any time soon.

What I've realized is that often what I have called fear in the past is just not accepting the shame that goes along with failing to integrate and learn the lessons that life on earth or hyperspace have given.

It seems probable that hyperspace can be navigated casually, and that small amounts of fear can be experienced and transcended fairly easily, but only if there isn't a certain threshold of homework that needs doing.


So on that note, I am thankful that aya is there to be a tutor.