Recently one of my prize 5 year old vines passed over to provide me with an ample supply of beautiful vine. I had checked on her about 3 weeks prior and she looked fine, but the hot dry weather coupled with the fact that the main stem was being strangled as she grew through a wire mesh fence, resulted in her death. The end result was about 8kg of highly stressed vine that dried nicely on the host tree.
Having a nice supply of fresh vine in my garden I tend to brew with fresh materials, using around 170g fresh per dose. And as some can attest, as time go on so does the time between brews increase. I now try to brew at least 3 or 4 times a year, when I can make time outside of full time work and family commitments. I had dried some of a different vine a few months earlier to give to a friend and worked out that the vine dries down to around 60% of wet weight. So I worked out I needed around 100g dry of the vine per dose. Thinking back now I have had some very profound experiences with brewing 70g dry vine in the past.
My friend who I had given the vine to a few months earlier had been working with the vine and both she and her new partner had undertaken around 3 journeys in that time. I asked them both if they were keen for us to drink together. My last brew was around 3 months earlier and I was keen to test out my new store of dried vine. They agreed to us undertaking a journey at their place. I set to brewing. 100g dry vine and 22g dried home grown Chacruna leaf. In my garden I also grow a few changa herbs so decided to add a few Amazonian basil leaves to the brew and a pinch of Toe flowers. Only a pinch mind you, just to add the energy to the brew.
So I headed around to my friends place around dusk to begin preparing for the journey. I had not eaten in around 5 hours or drunk water in around 3 hours and was ready to begin drinking soon after arrival. My friends had only just arrived home before me so were keen to settle in and planned drinking later in the night. They had fasted all day but just recently consumed water so we waited an hour or so before beginning. In the meantime my friends partner (let’s call him X) and I decided to smoke a few light cones of changa to ease in. My friend (let’s call her Y) decides not to smoke any changa and hold back for the brew. X put some Tibetan bowls music on and we set up our space with a place to lie, purge bucket, you know all the trappings, crystals, staffs, power objects, to see us safely on our way.
We drank the brew and settle in for the journey. The brew set quickly to running her presence through my body. I was soon aware her arrival was imminent. Around 45 minutes in like clockwork I sat up from my place and purged. Laying down I was aware that I was in for a strong journey. I was soon torn into a journey that had no beginning. I next became aware of myself when my fellow travelers call out to me informing me that I was drawing them into my trip and asking if I was okay. I had been speaking in tongues and was unaware I was even present in the room let alone aware of what I was saying. It turns out that they were both still waiting for their trips to begin and I was already tearing at the speed of light through hyperspace. “I apologise, I apologise, apologise” I remember saying, worried that I was shining freaky light on their journeys. I was feeling a little foolish as being the one with a little experience behind me I was supposed to be holding things together a little if things went heavy. I remember thinking “I must pull myself together and get a handle on the energy”. A flash later I was draw back in this time being slammed by scenes of my current shadows playing out. I won’t go into details on the personal issues I was facing but I will explain the nature of the energy.
I had considered myself having had evolved a relationship with the vine whereby I could harness some control over the energy, played out as singing and chanting, when in the journey space. This energy was different, more like raw power that I found it hard to surface from let alone harness. In past experiences shadow scenes and introspection played out in fine detail with subtle keys presenting resolutions to hidden stalemates and thwarts. At this moment I was being literally slammed with a shadow scene and given no chance to process it let alone find resolution before I was hammered with another challenging shadow scene. I was then again drawn deeper into the void.
I next became aware of myself when purging on my shoulder in the opposite direction of my purge bucket. I quickly sat put and finished purging in the bucket on the other side of me. I felt intensely ill, not unexpected when partaking the brew. I look across the room and saw Y walking around the room. I let her know of my amazement that she was even able to stand let along walk around the room. She was well grounded and asked me if I need any help. I let her know that I was fine and expected to get a rough lesson from the vine every now and again. I was starting to get a handle on the energy now and was forced to blow it out in deep breaths.
As I was starting to come back to ground X was drawn into the intense energy space that I had just left. I had been journeying for around 2 hours and X and Y had maintained ground the entire time. Now X was on the loop, repeating “I don’t even know what this is”. Y was getting a little worried and I reassured her that X would be fine and that sometimes folks just need a little space to ride out their trip. I offered Y a cone of Changa which she accepted. She hit deep journey space for around 30 minutes and then was back to ground again. We discussed our journeys so far. Turns out Y had stayed grounded the entire time apart from the previous Changa trip. She was feeling the intensity of the vine but was staying to ground throughout. Turns out that I had been experiencing some extremely dark spaces while journeying earlier and had been ranting about murder and going to gaol of which I have done neither. I apologised to Y and let her know that I was unaware of having said any of these things. She was pretty cool with it and assured me she was not easily freaked out.
Now X had not purged the entire time, near on 5 hours with 2 or 3 hours stuck in a loop. Y was getting more and more worried about her partner and gravitated from letting him ride his journey to actively supporting him through it. She was giving him water to help flush the purge out which was not working. After around 3 litres of water we decided to change tact. To reassure Y I had planned to go home in an hour when I was able to ride my bike and retrieve some Valium to pull X out of the epic loop. I have tried it once to see how it works and was confident that it was a safe measure if required. This was not required as Y soon came up with a plan to administer activated charcoal to X and see if this would bring the trip to an end. Soon after the black powder was consumed X purged the loop stream into his purge bucket and was soon to ground.
Upon reflecting on the journey the next day I became aware that my recent consumption of violent TV series was playing heavily on my subconscious. I had in the couple of months previous been downloading and watching whole seasons of Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead and Deadwood in quick succession. I have now gone cold off these shows as I believe the vine showed me the dark influence they were having on me. I knew their influence was not good but when you are faced with this darkness in the journey space there is no denying its impact on your being.
I think my next brew will be with around 80g of the vine instead of the previous 100g. I will also give the pinch of darkness a miss and will journey on my own with my wife acting as sitter, as I am well accustomed to this setting.
From where is the noise?